{"id":174244,"date":"2025-09-28T03:05:22","date_gmt":"2025-09-28T03:05:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/174244\/"},"modified":"2025-09-28T03:05:22","modified_gmt":"2025-09-28T03:05:22","slug":"i-love-my-job-in-health-care-but-one-part-of-it-is-very-lonely","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/174244\/","title":{"rendered":"I love my job in health care. But one part of it is very lonely."},"content":{"rendered":"

Good Job<\/a>\u00a0is Slate\u2019s advice column on work. Have a workplace problem big or small?\u00a0Send it to Laura Helmuth and Doree Shafrir here<\/a>. (It\u2019s anonymous!)<\/p>\n

Dear Good Job,<\/p>\n

I can\u2019t figure out how to connect with my co-workers, which is ironic since I am a behavioral health provider. I\u2019m located with doctors who refer patients to me for counseling. I love the work! The doctors like and respect my work! Clients say I\u2019m helpful! When I do interact with doctors and other staff, they are friendly and I can always reach them via email or Teams. There are several people on staff who I think could become great work friends.<\/p>\n

But \u2026 when I was new, I received a company orientation but none on our physical worksite (like where\/how to order supplies, when the morning \u201chuddle\u201d is, not even where the doctor\u2019s offices are located, and this information isn\u2019t on the intranet). I\u2019m the only one in my discipline in the building, and I meet virtually with my peers twice a month, but that\u2019s not the same.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve asked several times to be included in the monthly provider meeting at my site (my peers attend at their sites) and was invited exactly once in two years. Complicating things is my mobility impairment, so I can\u2019t easily stroll down the hall and hope for a chance meeting. Everyone is super busy because it\u2019s health care, and most people (including me) don\u2019t have a set lunch or break time. I really like this job, but I\u2019m lonely as talking to clients isn\u2019t social. Suggestions?<\/p>\n

\u2014Talk All Day, Still Lonely<\/p>\n

Dear Talk All Day, Still Lonely,<\/p>\n

Thank you for asking about this. A lot of people feel lonely in a crowd<\/a> while at work. A stressful, over-scheduled work environment makes it even harder to connect. Let\u2019s start with the meeting, since that\u2019s a way to schedule a regular social (or social-ish) interaction. There might be a simple fix. If the meeting is organized as an invitation on people\u2019s work calendars, ask whoever runs the meeting to forward you the standing invite. The invitation you got just once might have inadvertently been for a single rather than recurring meeting. If it\u2019s not a calendar invite, someone must have a group email they use to send out reminders or the schedule. Ask to be added to it. If \u201ceverybody knows\u201d when and where the meeting is held, just start showing up without a formal invitation. I doubt anyone is intentionally excluding you; they\u2019re just not thinking about you, because as you say, it\u2019s health care.<\/p>\n

You mention Teams, which you can use (or Slack or other internal chat programs) for a different type of conversation. Can you start a shared non-work channel? Invite people to join a discussion group on books, movies, cooking, travel, or whatever you enjoy in your free time. Keep it light and voluntary, a place for people to pop in to share a photo or joke.<\/p>\n

Can you make room in your schedule for a weekly drop-in hour? Offer to provide snacks or tea for people who come by your office to chat or just exhale and shake out some of the stress of the day. Frame the invitation in terms of health and science, using language that will resonate with them: Taking a break is good for you. Talking with other people as people (not as patients, bosses, or trainees) is good for you. Bring in fidget toys, a candy jar, interesting art or humor books, or other office decorations that will make people feel welcome to stop by<\/a>. You might not get many takers at first (just ask a college professor about what their office hours look like when it\u2019s not finals week), but you just might be able to establish a friendly new practice at work.<\/p>\n

\n Please keep questions short (<150 words), and don\u2018t submit the same question to multiple columns. We are unable to edit or remove questions after publication. Use pseudonyms to maintain anonymity. Your submission may be used in other Slate advice columns and may be edited for publication.\n <\/p>\n

Dear Good Job,<\/p>\n

I joined my company a little over four years ago, and at the time, I was too awkward to really get to know a lot of my colleagues. I didn\u2019t make many overtures to get lunches or coffees or really make that many strides to get to know people outside of my immediate team. And now I regret it! I watch new people start on these welcome tours, where they make it a point to meet everyone, including me, and I wish I had done that. Would it be strange to retroactively ask co-workers for chats even though it\u2019s been so long? What would I even talk to them about if I do? I feel like I\u2019ve held myself back professionally by not mingling, and also socially, since some of these people are actually really cool!<\/p>\n

\u2014Regrets<\/p>\n

Dear Regrets,<\/p>\n

It is absolutely not too late. The fact that your company encourages welcome tours for new hires is a good sign\u2014your workplace culture seems to support people getting to know one another. It won\u2019t be weird or surprising for you to contact your peers and invite them to get together for lunch, coffee, or a walk and talk break. (I love walk and talk breaks.) If there\u2019s some occasion you could use as an excuse, great: \u201cI just finished a big project, looked around, and realized I don\u2019t know as much as I\u2019d like to about how your team works. Could we catch up sometime?\u201d But you don\u2019t need to have a particular reason. You can invite someone with a bit of low-key flattery: \u201cYou have such an interesting approach to your job [or workplace decorations, comments in meetings, building a team, whatever] and I\u2019d enjoy chatting sometime.\u201d<\/p>\n

It\u2019s tempting to focus on people who have more social capital and workplace friends than you do, but also consider what you can offer to those new people who are coming through. They may be overwhelmed by all the new acronyms, names, software systems, and other confusing bits of a new job. Offer to translate company culture for them, especially if they have questions they\u2019d rather not ask a boss or direct report. It can be awkward for new people (as you know) to build relationships and find their place in the new job. You can be the cool, experienced person who makes them feel welcome and included.<\/p>\n

Slate Plus members get\u00a0more\u00a0Good Job\u00a0every week.\u00a0Sign up now<\/a>\u00a0to read Laura Helmuth\u2019s\u00a0additional column this week.<\/p>\n

Dear Good Job,<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve wanted to be a nurse for a while, but I didn\u2019t know what the job would truly entail. Now that I\u2019ve been in nursing school, I have developed depression and sometimes wish something terrible would happen so I wouldn\u2019t have to continue in the profession. I\u2019m not sure if I\u2019m just being dramatic and lazy, or if this is something I really need to seriously consider redirecting my whole life trajectory over. I\u2019ve done well grades-wise, so a part of me believes I could do it, but I\u2019m not sure if this would ruin my mental health even more or if it would give me more confidence in myself. I\u2019m completely lost and very indecisive, as switching my major would be a huge commitment, and I would feel like a disappointment.<\/p>\n

\u2014Nursing Woes<\/p>\n

Dear Nursing Woes,<\/p>\n

Switching majors does not make you a disappointment. Let\u2019s start with that. Lots of people enter college or professional school with a vision of what their career should be, then learn more about what the job is actually like and change their minds. There\u2019s no shame in it. Education is all about testing your assumptions, seeking new information, and building a better understanding of yourself and the world, right? Good for you for asking questions about your future rather than just sticking to your past self\u2019s plan.<\/p>\n

Before you make any decisions, though, are you getting treated for depression? If not, please seek help. Your school should offer mental healthcare for students, and can refer you to a professional on campus or elsewhere. You mention wishing \u201csomething terrible would happen,\u201d which doesn\u2019t sound like just a stray thought and should be taken seriously. Having a health condition doesn\u2019t make you dramatic or lazy. And treating your depression will make it less daunting to make decisions.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\n Laura Helmuth
\n I Caught My Direct Report Stealing. It Didn\u2019t Lead to the Outcome I Thought It Would.
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When you\u2019re ready to plan the next steps in your education and career, think about what drew you to nursing. Was it helping people? Developing expertise? Solving problems? And think about what you\u2019ve learned about the profession that you don\u2019t like. You can use these insights to help you evaluate other potential careers. The health, science, and math classes you\u2019ve taken so far should transfer to other majors, and many people with nursing backgrounds have switched to adjacent careers<\/a>. If you\u2019re not quite ready to jump off the nursing track, talk to a professor or counselor at your school about your concerns\u2014they\u2019ve heard it all before\u2014and see if they can help identify a specialty within nursing that suits you. But this is also a good time to explore something completely different. Would you want to major in geology, finance, or history? Slate ran a fun series a decade ago (it holds up well) recommending classes you should take<\/a> in college, and readers sent in their own thoughtful suggestions<\/a>. You might not find your career in this series, but it might help you think more broadly about education and your future.<\/p>\n

\u2014Laura<\/p>\n

More Advice From Slate<\/p>\n

My fianc\u00e9 and I are planning on getting married next spring and have been having a lot more in-depth talks about our finances. Both of us were not good with our finances when we were younger. We both got into credit card debt and had them go to collections where we didn\u2019t pay the full amount. That was almost 10 years ago though and we are much more financially stable. The problem is, we both seem to have learned very different lessons from the credit card fiasco.<\/a><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Sign up for Slate’s evening newsletter.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Good Job\u00a0is Slate\u2019s advice column on work. Have a workplace problem big or small?\u00a0Send it to Laura Helmuth…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":174245,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[34],"tags":[8786,64,63,137,500,180,5571],"class_list":{"0":"post-174244","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-healthcare","8":"tag-advice","9":"tag-au","10":"tag-australia","11":"tag-health","12":"tag-healthcare","13":"tag-jobs","14":"tag-workplace"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/174244","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=174244"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/174244\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/174245"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=174244"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=174244"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=174244"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}