\u201cUh \u2026 Okay\u201d GIF<\/a>. The thing about this fight is that this is not even one of the major points. The crux was never who asked whom to go; it was who behaved badly on the boat. Now we know that Julia asked Guerdy, but based on how Guerdy is proving her innocence, maybe she was the one who got out of line on the high seas.<\/p>\nWe then see a flashback to 36 minutes before the big reveal, when Guerdy is talking to Russell, and he says that he had a conversation with Julia about their friendship. It is an incredibly awkward interaction, and I couldn\u2019t tell if that\u2019s because Russell knows Julia has been mean to his wife or if it was just Russell not saying much of anything and having very little effect. Was he being stony because he\u2019s pissed, or was he just being, you know, himself? Anyway, Russell tells Guerdy that Julia thinks they\u2019re making progress. Then Guerdy asks how that might be possible when they had agreed to squash their beef and not bring it up publicly, but then Julia asked about it in front of the group at Alexia\u2019s Goddess Gathering, Which Was Definitely Not About Todd, So Please Quit Saying It, Stephanie.<\/p>\n
Was Julia bringing it up again the infraction? If Guerdy were serious about wanting to mend things with Julia, she could have just talked to her, told her she thought it was over, and tried to set the course straight again. She could have even been a little loud about it to keep Julia in line. She says, \u201cThis was a little slap on the wrist to say, \u2018Don\u2019t fuck with me.\u2019\u201d You call this a slap on the wrist? That was like a slap with a wrist. It\u2019s as if Guerdy took a zombie\u2019s disembodied lower arm and swatted Julia in the face with it in public. The major problem is that this punishment certainly didn\u2019t fit the crime.<\/p>\n
During her speech, Guerdy says, \u201cThe goal from this is not to prove who is right or wrong \u2026 This, I think, will be helpful for our group and allow us to move forward in a positive, truthful manner.\u201d She then caps it off by saying, \u201cNow that this is out there in the open, let\u2019s celebrate as I present to you Rocky Lanes.\u201d Yes, she\u2019s going from a receipts display to a shirtless contortionist named Rocky Lanes, which sounds like the name of a drag queen who shows up onstage on a Rascal with two flat tires.<\/p>\n
She is misstating her goal here. It was obvious that she was right and Julia was wrong or she never would have done it. Also, she thinks this is going to move the group forward in a positive and truthful manner? This is going to curdle the dynamics for the rest of the season. This is going to make the vibes positively rancid. Marysol immediately says that this is dirty and she doesn\u2019t like it. Julia, rightfully, says it\u2019s in bad taste. Larsa wonders why Guerdy is bringing all these other people at the party into a feud they will have no idea about. Stephanie says the night is supposed to be about surviving cancer and it shouldn\u2019t be about settling scores. Dame Brian Moylan says if you are going to do it, then you should be off-book and not reading from your phone, because it makes you not only look petty but also like an idiot.<\/p>\n
Marysol, Alexia, Julia, and Larsa all decide to leave the party and congregate out front to hash it out further. Marysol says that it was a public humiliation, and she is right. That\u2019s the problem here. There is no going back from this. What Guerdy did to Julia was so public, so outsize, so dirty that Julia is never going to be her friend again. This is what she decided to end it over: Julia asking a hot life coach a stupid question?<\/p>\n
That\u2019s the problem. Guerdy was totally in the right here. I believed that Julia was the one who was a jerk on the cruise. Julia threw water on her and had an outrageous reaction when Guerdy tried to discuss it with the group. Julia was wrong when she brought it up again. Guerdy has done nothing here but be right, but her BGD destroyed it all. Now all they\u2019re going to remember is her putting private texts on a very public screen.<\/p>\n
There is also the cooling effect that this is going to have on the show. Alexia says she doesn\u2019t like text messages, and she follows the old Dorinda Medley adage \u201cSay it, forget it. Write it, regret it.\u201d But after Guerdy did that to Julia, now she\u2019s not going to text any of the women. There will be no receipts for any of them to post on the wall or print out in a binder and bring to the reunion. If all communications between the women are susceptible to airing out, they might stop communicating entirely.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s also already causing chaos with the women. Stephanie tells them she wants to hear Guerdy\u2019s side and remain neutral, and Alexia freaks out and accuses her of kissing Guerdy\u2019s ass. Stephanie immediately takes umbrage with that, as she should, but then we quickly learn that Alexia is really just mad that Stephanie keeps talking about Alexia\u2019s pending non-divorce from Todd. Well, of course she does; they\u2019re all talking about it. Alexia asks her if they should talk about Stephanie\u2019s husband, and that is so dumb that you would think it\u2019s from a Jim Carrey movie. Why should they talk about Stephanie\u2019s husband? Did he file for divorce, move all of his things out of the house in secret, not go through with the divorce, then try to win her back? Of course they\u2019re all talking about Todd. He\u2019s an asshole who is torturing this poor woman. If I were friends with Alexia, it\u2019s all I would be talking about too.<\/p>\n
Adriana, who wrongly has Guerdy\u2019s back in all of this, goes outside and tells her friend Julia to get out her text messages. Why should she do that? They\u2019re the same messages with the blue bubbles on the other side of the screen. She tells Julia to tell her side of the story, to get her truth out there. But this isn\u2019t about the truth, and it\u2019s not even about the text messages; it\u2019s about the tactics. Julia is proving that she\u2019s not going to fight dirty, that she\u2019s above this. She\u2019s now, miraculously, in the right. She has the upper hand on Guerdy, who is inside saying, \u201cIt\u2019s my party. I can do whatever I want.\u201d She\u2019s not wrong. She could get up and take a big steaming dump in the middle of the stage (another symptom of BGD), but that doesn\u2019t mean people have to like it or that it\u2019s even going to serve her.<\/p>\n
This is the same rationale that Kenya Moore used at her disastrous salon opening<\/a>, where she displayed posters of Brit Eady doing intimate things. I can see how the ladies would want to steal the spotlight at their event. This gives them a chance with a microphone to get their case out to the other women without interruption, derailing, or backbiting. This is also what\u2019s wrong with it: It is shatteringly public. It doesn\u2019t allow the other party to speak. It\u2019s a conviction without due process and is therefore humiliating for that person to sit through. Now that we\u2019ve seen two of these in a year, hopefully the ladies will learn that they don\u2019t work because they are riddled with BGD. It inverts the aggrieved party so that as it ends, we\u2019re not thinking about Guerdy and her triumph \u2014 we\u2019re thinking about Julia and her perfect wet-look hair. We\u2019re thinking about her calling Martina and pleading in her softest voice for her not to go to sleep because she\u2019ll need venting and counsel when she gets home. We think about her walking to her car, getting in the back seat, and crumpling into tears that are as rooted in anger as they are in sadness. We think about her staring out the window, a new shadow soaring across her face as she passes each street light, thinking that each second that she\u2019s closer to her own bed is a little bit of salvation.<\/p>\n VULTURE NEWSLETTER<\/p>\n
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