From the company that brought kids fun and quirky instructional books in the aughts, we introduce these new activity books for our beloved customers who are all grown up:<\/p>\n
Klutz Book of One Day of Pottery<\/p>\n
You\u2019ve been so stressed lately. You need to get out of your head and into your body\u2014so why not try ceramics? This Klutz book comes with some quick-dry clay and instructions on how to make a shitty little ashtray that you can show your friends and say, \u201cYeah, I really love pottery\u2014I\u2019m thinking of starting a business.\u201d Of course, the back pain you experience hunching over your pinch pot will be enough to deter you from ever touching clay again. But, hey, free ($26.99, plus tax and shipping) ashtray!<\/p>\n
Klutz Book of Actually Stretching<\/p>\n
Speaking of back pain, you\u2019re in your thirties and suddenly every bone and muscle hurts! You need to learn to stretch. Like actually stretch, not just a half-assed ankle-grab before you \u201cjog.\u201d We\u2019re talking sitting, reaching, toe-touching\u2014all of it. This book comes with some resistance bands and the back cover is padded, so you have some cushioning for any kneeling exercises. Because your knees also hurt now?<\/p>\n
Klutz Book of Proper Battery Disposal<\/p>\n
Why didn\u2019t your parents teach you how to get rid of batteries? This Klutz book includes nonconductive tape to place over the battery terminals, plastic baggies to separate batteries by type, and a handy map of battery-disposal places near you. But beware\u2014the disposal places are often unexpectedly closed for months on end or never existed at all! There\u2019s also one large garbage bag to place all the smaller baggies in so you can hide the batteries in the back of an underused cabinet and never think about them again.<\/p>\n
Klutz Book of Closet Cleanouts<\/p>\n
A surefire way to lift some of the psychic weight you bear each and every day is the closet purge. This book comes with several labelled boxes including: \u201cTrash,\u201d \u201cDonate,\u201d \u201cTry to Sell at Crossroads,\u201d \u201cDonate After You\u2019re Humiliated at Crossroads,\u201d \u201cNot Quite Trash but Also Not Good Enough to Donate,\u201d \u201cWhat Is Textile Recycling?,\u201d and \u201cSentimental Things You Think You Want to Keep But Also Know You Need to Get Rid of.\u201d<\/p>\n
Klutz Book of Finally Reading Again<\/p>\n
You were a reader as a child. You devoured books\u2014including Klutz books (thanks!). So what gives? These days, you fall right asleep if you even crack a book open. You\u2019ve read maybe one novel in the past three years? And, like, half of two long articles in The Atlantic, which can\u2019t count, right? Unless\u00a0.\u00a0.\u00a0.\u00a0no, no, it doesn\u2019t count. This Klutz product gently leads you back into literacy, and comes with black-market A.D.H.D. meds to help you focus, a novella that\u2019s just really juicy gossip about people you vaguely know, and reading glasses. Because, babe, you need those now.<\/p>\n
The Magical Book of Maintaining Friendships<\/p>\n
This is the big sister of our Klutz Klassic Friendship Bracelets Craft Kit. Not only does it include premade friendship bracelets (you do not have time to relearn braiding, and anyway you no longer have the finger dexterity), but it also includes a five-year date planner. Some of your best friends you see only every three months now, and that\u2019s fine! Just make sure that you make a plan. And follow up. And double-check that Mel didn\u2019t forget to write it down.<\/p>\n
The Big Klutz Book of Supplements<\/p>\n
This is just a giant hollowed-out fake book with bottles of vitamins inside. Seriously, though. Take them.\u00a0\u2666<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"From the company that brought kids fun and quirky instructional books in the aughts, we introduce these new…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":182287,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[30],"tags":[64,63,457,134,21299,116850,114754,1672],"class_list":{"0":"post-182286","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-books","8":"tag-au","9":"tag-australia","10":"tag-books","11":"tag-entertainment","12":"tag-humor","13":"tag-shouts-murmurs","14":"tag-textaboveleftsmallwithrule","15":"tag-web"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/182286","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=182286"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/182286\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/182287"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=182286"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=182286"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=182286"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}