Dear Annie: My husband and I have kids and live what I truly feel is a blessed life. My husband works for his family\u2019s business, which often includes his dad, brother, cousins and brothers-in-law as co-workers. Even some of my relatives have worked for him at times.<\/p>\n
As I said, we live a great, blessed life. We\u2019re able to go on vacation and out to eat every weekend. The problem is, his family has made comments about it. They\u2019ll say things like, \u201cWow, you\u2019re going out to eat again?\u201d or \u201cMust be nice to take a trip like that,\u201d or \u201cYou guys got a new car? New clothes?\u201d I haven\u2019t said anything, but now my husband is noticing it, too.<\/p>\n
The other kids have even started chiming in, saying things like, \u201cI would love to go out to eat and visit places like you guys do.\u201d It\u2019s gotten to the point that I want to say, \u201cYour parents make the same money we do. I don\u2019t know what they\u2019re spending it on, but we pay our bills and enjoy what\u2019s left.\u201d<\/p>\n
What should I do? It\u2019s becoming really annoying every time it happens. — Blessed but Bothered<\/p>\n
Dear Blessed: You don\u2019t owe anyone an explanation for how you spend your money, especially when you\u2019re living within your means and making responsible choices. The fact that the younger kids are now repeating these remarks makes it even harder, comparing how you and your husband prioritize your money versus their own parents.<\/p>\n
The next time it comes up, just smile and say, \u201cWe feel really grateful for what we have.\u201d Then change the subject. If the comments continue, your husband may need to step in and make it clear to his family that the ins and outs of your finances aren\u2019t up for discussion.<\/p>\n
Dear Annie: My husband and I have been married for 11 years. We\u2019ve always had a solid partnership with no major issues. But lately, I\u2019ve been feeling like I\u2019m just a supporting character in his life.<\/p>\n
He recently started a new job that he\u2019s passionate about, and while I\u2019m happy for him, everything seems to revolve around his schedule, his goals, his stress. I work full-time, too, and we have two kids, but somehow I\u2019ve become the default parent and household manager while he gets to \u201cfocus.\u201d<\/p>\n
When I try to bring it up, he says he\u2019s just \u201cunder a lot of pressure\u201d and that it\u2019s temporary. But it\u2019s been almost a year. I don\u2019t want to keep score, but I also have goals of my own that I feel like I\u2019m sacrificing so he can pursue his.<\/p>\n
How do I bring this up again in a way that doesn\u2019t come off as resentful? — Fading Into the Background<\/p>\n
Dear Fading: Your letter doesn\u2019t sound resentful — so just explain it to him the way you explained it to me.<\/p>\n
If you find yourself falling into the role of household manager by default, you might consider a concrete division of labor. Map out a schedule together of who takes on what chores, and make sure you both build in enough time to pursue your own projects, too.<\/p>\n
Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com<\/a>.<\/p>\n COPYRIGHT 2023 CREATORS.COM<\/a><\/p>\n If you purchase a product or register for an account through a link on our site, we may receive compensation. By using this site, you consent to our User Agreement<\/a> and agree that your clicks, interactions, and personal information may be collected, recorded, and\/or stored by us and social media and other third-party partners in accordance with our Privacy Policy.<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Dear Annie: My husband and I have kids and live what I truly feel is a blessed life.…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":204275,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[64,63,99,127020,186,184,185],"class_list":{"0":"post-204274","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-personal-finance","8":"tag-au","9":"tag-australia","10":"tag-business","11":"tag-exotic-travel","12":"tag-finance","13":"tag-personal-finance","14":"tag-personalfinance"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/204274","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=204274"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/204274\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/204275"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=204274"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=204274"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=204274"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}