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August Maddinson just wants to play with Dad. Just like he\u2019s always done.<\/p>\n
August, a cheerful and energetic two-year-old boy, is confused. Cars. Lego. Passing a footy. Anything. Why isn\u2019t Dad being fun any more?<\/p>\n
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Nic Maddinson sleeps next to son August.<\/p>\n
He\u2019s too young to realise his father, Nic, is a very good cricketer. Not just any good cricketer, but the proud owner of a baggy green cap \u2013 and one of the most exciting batsmen in Australia over the past 15 years.<\/p>\n
A few good matches to start the 2024-25 season for NSW in the Sheffield Shield, and Dad might have been opening the batting for Australia last summer against India.<\/p>\n
Instead, he is slumped on the lounge in their Bondi home. He\u2019s been there on and off for weeks, except between 11am and 4pm. He\u2019s been sleeping for about 12 hours a day.<\/p>\n
Even when Dad does manage to take August to the park, which is a five-minute walk, he needs to rest.<\/p>\n
August has been telling people his dad no longer has hair because the wind blew it away. His mother, Bianca, is six months pregnant with his soon-to-be brother.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe hardest part was having to tell August I couldn\u2019t play with him,\u201d Maddinson says. \u201cI was just so physically exhausted that I couldn\u2019t get off the couch.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe understood quite a lot of what was going on. He\u2019s a pretty intelligent kid. He was always rubbing my hair and asking what happened to it.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe just told him that I was sick, and I was taking some medicine that made my hair fall out. We told him I was going to be OK.\u201d<\/p>\n
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August has told people his dad no longer has hair because the wind blew it away.<\/p>\n
Nic Maddinson is glad it\u2019s all over. After this interview, his private battle with testicular cancer will no longer be a secret.<\/p>\n
He doesn\u2019t want sympathy or for this to be a sob story. That\u2019s not in his nature, says his best mate Adam Zampa.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s a gorgeous Wednesday morning in Sydney\u2019s eastern suburbs, and August is walking towards a cafe near Waverley Oval with his dad, mum and two-week-old brother, Wilder, who is in a pram.<\/p>\n
In the distance, a curator is preparing a pitch for Saturday\u2019s match between Maddinson\u2019s club, Eastern Suburbs, and Penrith \u2013 not that he\u2019ll be playing.<\/p>\n
After three Test matches, six T20 internationals, 129 first-class fixtures, 105 List A games and 144 T20s around the globe, cricket has been an afterthought for the 33-year-old who, half a lifetime ago, was one of the country\u2019s brightest young batting talents.<\/p>\n
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Maddinson before his Test debut against South Africa at the Adelaide Oval in 2016. Credit: Ryan Pierse<\/p>\n
Following months of appointments, needles, chemotherapy sessions and sleepless nights, Maddinson is finally ready to tell his story \u2013 one only a small circle of cricketers have known about.<\/p>\n
He sips a long black and scrolls on his phone, looking at photos from when chemotherapy kept him in bed most of the day.<\/p>\n
A video pops up. Zampa, another star hailing from the NSW south coast, was one of the few who knew about Maddinson\u2019s cancer battle.<\/p>\n
Before Zampa\u2019s 100th T20 international against the West Indies in July, Maddinson was asked if he\u2019d like to send a video message that would be played on the team bus ahead of the match in St Kitts.<\/p>\n
Of course, he did. It was his best mate. He knew \u201cZamps\u201d would love it. The only problem was that Maddinson hadn\u2019t told anyone he was undergoing chemotherapy.<\/p>\n
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Maddinson (left) and Adam Zampa in 2009 after being picked for the NSW under-19 cricket team.Credit: Greg Totman<\/p>\n
Zampa\u2019s wife, Harriet, rang Bianca to say there was no pressure to send a video if he wasn\u2019t feeling up to it. Maddinson did anyway.<\/p>\n
\u201cI thought I\u2019ll just do the video and no one will work it out,\u201d Maddinson says of his diagnosis. \u201cI can\u2019t believe I thought I was going OK. Looking at that video, he looks so shit, and sick, and pale. I feel 100 times better than I did then.<\/p>\n
\u201cI thought it would mean a lot. I think I would have regretted it if I didn\u2019t send it.\u201d<\/p>\n
It took Zampa by surprise.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt got me a bit,\u201d Zampa says. \u201cI think people in the team who didn\u2019t know what was going on saw my reaction and thought, \u2018Jeez, I had no idea\u2019.<\/p>\n
\u201cTo have that pop up for me on an important day for me was really cool.\u201d<\/p>\n
This time last year, Maddinson was in the frame for a recall to the Australian Test team. Five months later, after a disappointing season yielding 267 runs at an average of 17.8, he was dropped for NSW\u2019s final Sheffield Shield match against Tasmania.<\/p>\n
He felt sick and run-down but was looking forward to a holiday in Byron Bay.<\/p>\n
Then he felt a lump. His GP thought it was probably a virus, but still recommended a scan. There were no available appointments, so it would have to wait until after the trip.<\/p>\n
At his end-of-season review, Maddinson mentioned the lump to Cricket Australia\u2019s chief medical officer, Dr John Orchard. A Friday afternoon appointment was booked in minutes.<\/p>\n
While packing a suitcase at home, Maddinson\u2019s phone rang. It was Orchard.<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t think you should get on the plane tomorrow,\u201d Orchard said.<\/p>\n
The scans confirmed a tumour. Maddinson rang Bianca at work to break the news.<\/p>\n
She flew up the following day, while Maddinson stayed in Sydney for more tests. He still arrived in Byron Bay on the Sunday for a quick trip \u201cto let it all sink in\u201d.<\/p>\n
Three days later, Maddinson underwent surgery.<\/p>\n
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Maddinson has overcome testicular cancer.Credit: Louie Douvis<\/p>\n
\u201cI was with John waiting for some scans, and that\u2019s when it hit me the most,\u201d he says. \u201cI had the surgery and I didn\u2019t think too much about it.\u201d<\/p>\n
Then, after about seven weeks, came the words he didn\u2019t want to hear: \u201cThe cancer has spread.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOnce I found out I had to have chemo, that was pretty hard to deal with,\u201d he says. \u201cIt had spread to parts of my abdominal lymph nodes and lung. That was a bit where it was pretty daunting. Bianca was the one asking all the questions. It was a bit of a blur. I\u2019m glad she was there.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m in awe of how strong and supportive she was through everything. She even quit her job as a dentist the day we found out I needed chemo.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe took on literally everything at home, so I could rest when I needed, all while pregnant and struggling with her own sleep and looking after two dogs and a toddler.<\/p>\n
\u201cThere were definitely days when it broke me mentally having to get up and go to hospital, and she helped me push through.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe wanted to sit with me, all day every day, but I felt guilty for wasting her days, so she only came in a handful of times.<\/p>\n
\u201cImagine if I hadn\u2019t gone to the doctor.\u201d<\/p>\n
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Maddinson celebrates scoring a ton for Victoria against NSW in 2020. Credit: AAP<\/p>\n
Maddinson thought he\u2019d miss a few weeks in the off-season. But he was told his vision, hearing and fitness might never be the same. Reality hit home.<\/p>\n
\u201cCricket was the last thing I wanted to think about,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n
Zampa was worried.<\/p>\n
\u201cIn my head, I\u2019m unfortunately thinking about the worst-case scenario,\u201d the leg-spinner says. \u201cWhat\u2019s going to happen to my best mate? He had a really positive outlook on it. He just got on with it and didn\u2019t make a fuss about it.\u201d<\/p>\n
On May 19, Maddinson embarked on his greatest challenge yet. Facing the fastest bowlers in the world was light work compared to five hours of chemotherapy every day at Sydney\u2019s St Vincent\u2019s Hospital, a five-minute drive from the SCG.<\/p>\n
Nine weeks. Three cycles. Three weeks each. Endless sleep.<\/p>\n
\u201cAt the start, I actually felt OK,\u201d Maddinson says. \u201cIt takes a while to get into your system. By day three, I felt like I\u2019d been hit by a truck. I didn\u2019t really improve much after that.\u201d<\/p>\n
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Maddinson prepares to begin chemotherapy.<\/p>\n
On day four, things took a turn. NSW teammate Moises Henriques came to visit. He sat silently, watching his mate have his body pumped full of drugs.<\/p>\n
\u201cI remember saying to Moey, \u2018I just need to sleep today, mate. There\u2019s no point hanging around too long\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n
Zampa offered to fly to Sydney whenever he could.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ve never had someone close to me go through it,\u201d Zampa says. \u201cIt was drop everything to try and help. He was lucky he had good support around.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe\u2019s always been really stubborn, so receiving help and asking for it when it\u2019s needed certainly isn\u2019t his strength. I couldn\u2019t have imagined going through it.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m speaking to my wife about it, then getting off the phone to Maddo, and I don\u2019t really have the answers myself or know how to help.\u201d<\/p>\n
Maddinson felt bloated and put on weight.<\/p>\n
\u201cBy the second or third week, I lost all my hair. I was feeling pretty average,\u201d he says. \u201cI was taking types of steroids to manage side effects, but they would keep me up at night. I\u2019d be at the hospital from about 11am to 4pm. Then a sleep. Then I\u2019d force myself to have dinner. I\u2019d sleep until about 1am, but sometimes I\u2019d then be awake until 6am. I found that difficult. I was super drained and felt like I had to sleep 24\/7.<\/p>\n
\u201cI felt guilty. I couldn\u2019t do anything around the house.\u201d<\/p>\n
Only a handful knew \u2013 family, Zampa, Sean Abbott, Henriques, Josh Philippe, Cricket NSW high-performance boss Greg Mail, and a handful of other friends outside of cricket. Word spread quietly, but Maddinson wanted to keep it tight.<\/p>\n
During the winter, Mail told Blues players.<\/p>\n
Maddinson, with no hair, moustache or beard, turned up one morning at Centennial Park to have a coffee with teammates before a fitness session. Hair was always Maddinson\u2019s thing. He once bleached it peroxide blond before a Big Bash game and joked that \u201cGwen Stefani\u201d was the inspiration.<\/p>\n
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Maddinson\u2019s blond era. Credit: Getty Images<\/p>\n
\u201cNone of the boys asked, but it was pretty obvious something was going on,\u201d Maddinson says. \u201cI looked completely different.<\/p>\n
\u201cI wanted to feel like myself and go for a walk or a run. I didn\u2019t really want to train for cricket. Batting didn\u2019t interest me. I wasn\u2019t envious of them playing. That was the first time in my life. It\u2019s only recently that I\u2019ve really wanted to play.\u201d<\/p>\n
He suspected some players on Australia\u2019s Test tour of the West Indies knew. Some nights, when he couldn\u2019t sleep, he\u2019d watch the first session of action in the Caribbean on television as Bianca and August slept.<\/p>\n
Sam Konstas, his NSW opening partner, was struggling with the bat for Australia \u2013 and so was Maddinson, in a different way.<\/p>\n
In the morning, August would often find his dad asleep on the couch. He just wanted to go to the park again.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou try and put yourself in those shoes, and it\u2019s almost impossible to explain to your kid why you can\u2019t play with them,\u201d Zampa says. \u201cHis little guy Augie is an absolute champion. He\u2019s all over the place and a ball of energy.\u201d<\/p>\n
Maddinson adds: \u201cAt home, he\u2019d want to chase me down the hallway and tackle me.<\/p>\n
\u201cBianca ended up saying to me, \u2018I think you\u2019re trying to do too much\u2019. I tried to ride my bike one day and feel stupid for doing it now. I knew I felt terrible, but I just wanted to do something that I was used to doing.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was the slowest and longest nine weeks.\u201d<\/p>\n
Maddinson felt foggy and spaced out. He watched a lot of Netflix and cycling races. He deferred an online undergraduate psychology course at Curtin University because he was so exhausted.<\/p>\n
\u201cI was in hospital every Monday for about 12 weeks in a row. The first Monday we didn\u2019t have to go into hospital was such a relief.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe hardest part mentally was having to get a needle every day. I had bruised hands and forearms from the number of needles. I don\u2019t think I could have physically taken myself back in there for one more day.<\/p>\n
\u201cI felt I was mentally pretty strong but I think I would have thrown it in.\u201d<\/p>\n
July 14 was a good day. Chemo was finally done.<\/p>\n
Maddinson felt terrible but summoned the energy for a photo with August, who\u2019d made a sign for his dad.<\/p>\n
It said \u201cLAST CHEMO\u201d and was covered with stickers of dinosaurs.<\/p>\n
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Maddinson and son August after his last chemotherapy session in July.<\/p>\n
Ten days later, he texted Blues batting coach Nick Larkin.<\/p>\n
\u201cCan I come and hit some balls?\u201d<\/p>\n
On July 28, still feeling terrible, he drove to Sydney Olympic Park, padded up and put a helmet on. No one else was there.<\/p>\n
Larkin threw down some cross-seamers. The dashing left-hander belted them. He batted for half an hour, hit about 100 balls, and walked out. It was what he needed.<\/p>\n
\u201cI didn\u2019t touch a bat for a month after that,\u201d Maddinson says. \u201cIt was a weird feeling. Every time I mishit one, I got angry at myself in the nets. It was the first time I could bat without a care in the world.<\/p>\n
\u201cI stopped batting for a little bit because I didn\u2019t want to just not care.<\/p>\n
\u201cEight weeks after my last chemo round, I got good news. The treatment had worked.\u201d<\/p>\n
The road back to cricket wasn\u2019t straightforward. The batting and strength returned. His fitness is still a work in progress.<\/p>\n
\u201cMy recent tests were all good, and I can go about getting back into cricket, which I love,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n
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Maddinson and Will Pucovski opening the batting for Victoria in 2020. Credit: Getty Images<\/p>\n
On Thursday, Maddinson had a centre wicket net session with a few Blues squad members.<\/p>\n
Once he faces some faster bowlers and ticks a few fielding boxes, Maddinson will be eligible for selection \u2013 perhaps for Easts, the NSW Second XI, or the Blues\u2019 Shield match at the SCG from November 10 to 13.<\/p>\n
Have his goals changed?<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s tough question to answer right now. Yes and no,\u201d he says. \u201cI would still love to play Test cricket again, but I\u2019m more realistic. The older you get, the less likely it is to happen.<\/p>\n
\u201cI had a really good opportunity last year and I just didn\u2019t really grab it. I\u2019m just really excited to try and play cricket again. I was dropped at the end of last year, so I\u2019m not expecting to be straight back in the side.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe most important thing would be to say I am available. That would be a nice day.\u201d<\/p>\n
He hopes something good comes of telling his story.<\/p>\n
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Maddinson holding new son Wilder, alongside August and wife Bianca.<\/p>\n
\u201cI feel very lucky I live in a country where we have good medical care,\u201d he says. \u201cI am in a pretty privileged position to have access to John Orchard. He helped sort out all my appointments and was with me the whole time.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen I found out I needed chemo, it hit me hard because I almost didn\u2019t go. I thought it would go away. To know that I caught it probably as early as I could have, and it still spread into other parts of my body, that was scary.<\/p>\n
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\u201cI just think it\u2019s so important if you have anything you\u2019re worried about, get it checked out.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt feels silly to not tell my story. If one person reads it and gets checked, I\u2019ll be happy. I grew up in the country and a lot of people fob it off. It\u2019s a \u2018she\u2019ll be right\u2019 attitude. Get the stuff checked out, it can make all the difference.\u201d<\/p>\n
August is back at the cafe with a grin on his face.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s time for the park, a kick of the footy and a slow, steady return to normal life for the Maddinson family.<\/p>\n