{"id":224423,"date":"2025-10-19T05:27:09","date_gmt":"2025-10-19T05:27:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/224423\/"},"modified":"2025-10-19T05:27:09","modified_gmt":"2025-10-19T05:27:09","slug":"how-claires-decision-to-be-one-and-done-was-rocked-by-divorce","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/224423\/","title":{"rendered":"How Claire’s decision to be ‘one and done’ was rocked by divorce"},"content":{"rendered":"

After a traumatic birth with her son Brodie that led to chronic health issues, Claire Jackson had embraced being “one and done”.<\/p>\n

“I could not fathom putting my body or mental health through another child,” the 41-year-old Scottish expat living in Adelaide\/Tarntanya says.<\/p>\n

“We had just come out the back of the pandemic, a bit traumatised in every aspect, and I was just figuring out to how to step into this role as a mother.”<\/p>\n

Claire told us two years ago<\/a> that, faced with these challenges, she’d begun embracing her tripod family and saw the positives of having one child, such as being able to travel more and pursue work opportunities.<\/p>\n

But things have since changed for Claire.<\/p>\n

Six months after we spoke, her marriage ended.<\/p>\n

“I found myself navigating single motherhood as an expat having just left a full-time job to start a business.”<\/p>\n

She says these circumstances made it feel like being one and done was no longer a decision, and more like “the only option left”.<\/p>\n

We spoke with Claire about her view of having an only child after life took an unexpected turn.<\/p>\n

These are her words.<\/p>\n

One child no longer a choice\"Claire<\/p>\n

Claire Jackson experienced a traumatic birth with her son Brodie (pictured). (Supplied)<\/p>\n

Two years ago, I was two years postpartum and at that point you’re still very much in it with hormones and other postpartum challenges.<\/p>\n

I’d had this traumatic birth, I was left with chronic disease, and [was] working through some significant mental health issues.<\/p>\n

Six months after we spoke, my marriage broke down.<\/p>\n

I was obviously navigating the immediate impacts, and now two years on from that new reality, I am at the intersection of aging, grief around not having more kids no longer feeling like a choice, and what it means to be a single mum financially, emotionally, mentally.<\/p>\n

The capacity that I have has been even more reduced.<\/p>\n

And just my identity within that. Hitting perimenopause, that last bit of the biological clock ticking.<\/p>\n

It’s been a season of naming what\u00a0doors\u00a0are closing as much as what’s possible ahead.<\/p>\n

Not ready to close the door\"Claire<\/p>\n

Claire Jackson says life is simpler with one child. (Supplied)<\/p>\n

Recently, I’ve been faced with a health decision related to my reproduction and fertility.<\/p>\n

Since giving birth, I’ve struggled\u00a0with\u00a0irregular menstrual cycles causing anaemia,\u00a0and have been told the only treatment option available to me would mean I’d be at high risk of an ectopic pregnancy if I was to fall pregnant.<\/p>\n

That forced me to think about the decision to be one and done through a different lens.<\/p>\n

It’s one thing to not be able to financially or emotionally or mentally have more kids, it’s another to physically not be able \u2014 that really pulls the plug on it.<\/p>\n

What big life decision did the end of a relationship make you rethink? Share with us.<\/a><\/p>\n

And I have been thinking about if I met someone. My son Brodie is now more independent; he’s going to school soon.<\/p>\n

Am I really ready to close the door and be one and done as a final decision?<\/p>\n

The comments that minimise childlessness<\/a><\/p>\n

Missing out on parenthood can cause a “deep existential crisis”, and understanding that we hold different reproductive identities can help us be more sensitive about childlessness.<\/p>\n

I’m still sitting with that decision at the moment. And trying to find alternative ways to manage this health condition in the meantime.<\/p>\n

I’ve learnt it’s OK to hold space for future opportunities, while still being aligned with a certain way of moving forward now. And giving myself permission to change my mind.<\/p>\n

I’ve healed a lot from how traumatised I was from my son’s birth, so while I’m still one and done, the factors influencing that have changed.<\/p>\n

Life with an only child<\/p>\n

The marriage ending did rock my identity of going from a tripod family to a double act.<\/p>\n

We’re shaping new traditions, new ways of being, and we are still a family. We just live in two separate households.<\/p>\n

I have so much admiration and respect for single mums who have more than one child.<\/p>\n

It’s great they have siblings to transition between households with, and because Brodie doesn’t have that, we are finding ways to mimic that kind of familiarity and safety.<\/p>\n

But in terms of benefits of having just Brodie, I can’t look past the fact that financially it’s easier.<\/p>\n

We’re now paying for two households, two sets of bills. Everything has doubled. And in this economy, it would be a real stretch to have more than one.<\/p>\n

How ‘birdnesting’ keeps kids in the family home<\/a><\/p>\n

Couples ending their relationship are increasingly considering birdnesting, a co-parenting arrangement where children remain in the family home while parents alternate living there.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Also, my ability to give him my capacity, my time and attention, in full.<\/p>\n

Living with chronic disease, my energy is something I have to nurture and manage proactively.<\/p>\n

I’m grateful he gets all of my capacity when I am with him.<\/p>\n

I had a turbulent start to my motherhood journey, but one that has only made me stronger, more available to my son, more determined, more open-minded and aware of the\u00a0privilege\u00a0of choice.<\/p>\n

When I look at my son every night before bed, I feel like the luckiest person to be his mum in this lifetime.\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"After a traumatic birth with her son Brodie that led to chronic health issues, Claire Jackson had embraced…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":224424,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[64,63,136129,22426,134,136125,136123,136124,9161,136127,136128,136126],"class_list":{"0":"post-224423","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-entertainment","8":"tag-au","9":"tag-australia","10":"tag-coparenting","11":"tag-divorce","12":"tag-entertainment","13":"tag-marriage-breakdown","14":"tag-one-and-done","15":"tag-only-child","16":"tag-parenting","17":"tag-single-motherhood","18":"tag-single-mum","19":"tag-tripod-family"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/224423","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=224423"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/224423\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/224424"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=224423"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=224423"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=224423"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}