{"id":233142,"date":"2025-10-22T18:53:16","date_gmt":"2025-10-22T18:53:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/233142\/"},"modified":"2025-10-22T18:53:16","modified_gmt":"2025-10-22T18:53:16","slug":"i-tried-cuddling-and-almost-had-a-sickle-cell-crisis-3-women-with-long-term-health-conditions-on-how-they-deal-with-intimacy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/233142\/","title":{"rendered":"\u201cI tried cuddling and almost had a sickle cell crisis\u201d \u2014 3 Women with Long-term Health Conditions on How They Deal With Intimacy\u00a0"},"content":{"rendered":"

Anyone with an internet connection can go online to watch women have sex. Today, the sex industry rivals food, entertainment, and even healthcare in profit. The global sexual wellness market,from condoms to sex toys, was valued at over $25 billion in 2024<\/a>, and in June 2024 alone, Nigerians visited porn websites more than 91 million times<\/a>.<\/p>\n

But the depiction of sex we see in mainstream media does not reflect what intimacy looks like for most women, especially those whose bodies don\u2019t fit into the stereotype of the average female body.\u00a0<\/p>\n

In this article, three women with long-term health conditions talk about how the public perception of intimacy has affected their sex lives.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\u201cSex looks stressful, but I want it anyway\u201d \u2013 Halimah* 23<\/p>\n

I have heard a lot about how it is almost impossible for women with sickle cell to have any kind of sex life. When I meet men I could potentially date, I always tell them I have sickle cell, but they never take me seriously until they see the big box of drugs in the corner of my room.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Sickle cell painkillers are stronger than the average painkillers.\u00a0 They are so strong that they leave me feeling like I\u2019ve smoked weed after I use them. My partners are always concerned that I\u2019m dependent on drugs, and it scares them off.\u00a0<\/p>\n

When it comes to intimacy, I\u2019ve tried kissing and cuddling, but no more than that. I have a very high libido. Sometimes, I even feel like I\u2019m hornier than the average woman. I like the idea of sex, and I really want to try it, but I\u2019m always tired and my body is always weak and bloated.\u00a0<\/p>\n

I feel like sex would be very painful for me, and my body would ache badly afterwards. I think about the logistics of sex a lot because my joints aren\u2019t meant to be in certain positions for a long time. It could even trigger a crisis. My healthcare providers don\u2019t discuss realistic expectations of what sex would look like for me, so I\u2019ve been left to figure things out by myself.\u00a0<\/p>\n

From what I\u2019ve seen, men these days like rough sex.\u00a0 Unfortunately, my partner will have to settle for very gentle sex. Sex will also be something that happens occasionally because, as much as I like the idea of it, the pain and weakness I battle with daily will make it difficult to do it often.\u00a0<\/p>\n

You might think I\u2019m crazy for this, but I still want to try it.\u00a0 I\u2019ll deal with the pain after.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cMy libido disappeared with PCOS\u201d \u2014 Josephine*22<\/p>\n

The first two times I had sex, my partner didn\u2019t use protection. I didn\u2019t take the post-pill either, but I didn\u2019t get pregnant. That\u2019s when I knew something was off. I\u2019ve also noticed that I have next to no sexual desire. For me, sex is very painful, and it feels like a chore. The first man I told I had PCOS thought I had a terminal illness, and he ghosted me. I was so embarrassed that I stopped talking to men for a long time after that.\u00a0<\/p>\n

I have a love-hate relationship with my body. I go to the gym four times a week, but I keep gaining weight. Coupled with facial hair, excess belly fat and intense mood swings, PCOS makes it hard for me to feel desirable.\u00a0<\/p>\n

When I was much younger, I used to feel pressured to be a \u2018normal woman\u2019, and I tried so hard. It took a lot of effort to be able to tolerate intimacy. I had medical consultations, changed my diet, drugs and even started exercising.<\/p>\n

I still have sex with my partner because it makes me feel connected to him, but sometimes I don\u2019t know why I put up with it. I don\u2019t enjoy sex because of the pain, and I always feel horrible when things don\u2019t go as planned.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cI tried cuddling and almost had a sickle cell crisis\u201d \u2014 Ugochi* 25<\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t realise how much sickle cell would affect my dating and sex life until I entered my first relationship. I did not want to go out on dates, kiss or cuddle because I was scared I\u2019d have a crisis if I tried them. He ended up cheating on me.<\/p>\n

\u00a0I decided to try intimacy with another guy because I wanted to do the normal things couples do. We decided to try cuddling, and it left me so exhausted that I felt like I was on the verge of a crisis right after. If cuddling with someone for less than an hour is that exhausting, just how bad will sex be?\u00a0<\/p>\n

Even though I have sickle cell, I still want the full experience; I want to date, get married, have sex and have a lot of children. When I eventually get to that bridge, my partner will have to be insanely gentle and attentive. My body cannot bend in the ways women do in porn videos.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Next Read: Have You Ever Been Ignored by a Doctor? \u2014 8 Women on Medical Misogyny<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Anyone with an internet connection can go online to watch women have sex. Today, the sex industry rivals…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":233143,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[34],"tags":[64,63,137,500],"class_list":{"0":"post-233142","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-healthcare","8":"tag-au","9":"tag-australia","10":"tag-health","11":"tag-healthcare"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/233142","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=233142"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/233142\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/233143"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=233142"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=233142"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=233142"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}