\u201cBig Dumper,\u201d we hardly knew ye.<\/p>\n
Yes, I know I\u2019m a hockey columnist, and we\u2019ll get to that. But the big news up in Canada these days is all about baseball, with the Toronto Blue Jays\u2019 dramatic Game 7 win over the Mariners on Monday sending them to the World Series, which starts tonight in Toronto.<\/p>\n
It won\u2019t shock you to learn that I\u2019m a Blue Jays fan and have been since I was a little kid, so I\u2019m obviously thrilled to see the team make it back to the top of the mountain after three decades. But I have to admit that part of me was sad to see it happen at the expense of the Mariners, a team that entered the league alongside the expansion Jays way back in 1977 and has never made it to the World Series. A long and agonizing championship drought, you say? It\u2019s possible some of us up here can relate.<\/p>\n
But there\u2019s another reason to love the Mariners: their nicknames. I\u2019ve always loved a good nickname<\/a>, and baseball is unquestionably the greatest nickname sport there is, with the Mariners having had plenty of near-perfect ones. Ken Griffey Jr. as \u201cThe Kid.\u201d Randy Johnson as \u201cThe Big Unit.\u201d F\u00e9lix Hern\u00e1ndez as \u201cKing F\u00e9lix.\u201d They even had a guy nicknamed \u201cDeath to Flying Things<\/a>,\u201d\u00a0which was admittedly recycled<\/a>, but it\u2019s still an all-timer.<\/p>\n And then there\u2019s arguably the best of them all: Cal \u201cBig Dumper\u201d Raleigh, their slugging catcher who earned the nickname because \u2026 well, you can probably figure it out. As far as widely used nicknames go, is \u201cBig Dumper\u201d better than anything the NHL has to offer today? I\u2019m pretty sure it is.<\/p>\n Of course, you caught that \u201cwidely used\u201d qualifier, which brings us to today\u2019s quiz. I think it\u2019s time for another round of \u201cridiculous nicknames you\u2019ve probably never heard of but that Hockey-Reference insists are real.\u201d The go-to site for hockey research<\/a> added nicknames a few years ago, and let\u2019s just say they\u2019re not especially picky. If a nickname is famous, such as \u201cThe Great One\u201d or \u201cMr. Hockey,\u201d they use it. If it\u2019s something nobody has ever actually used, such as calling Sidney Crosby \u201cDarryl,\u201d they still use it<\/a>.<\/p>\n We had some fun with these two years ago, with current players<\/a>. Last year, we were back at it with some historical greats<\/a>, including the immortal \u201cSatan\u2019s Wallpaper\u201d that made its way to an episode of \u201cJeopardy!\u201d Today, we\u2019re back to the present, with 20 more current stars.<\/p>\n The format is simple: I give you the nickname. You tell me which active player it applies to, at least according to the discerning folks at Hockey-Reference. When you\u2019re done, scroll back up to see how you did using this handy scoring chart:<\/p>\n 1 \u2014 4 correct: You are the world\u2019s tiniest dumper<\/p>\n 5 \u2014 8 correct: You are a medium-sized dumper<\/p>\n 9 \u2014 12 correct: You are an appropriately sized dumper for your age and body type<\/p>\n 13 \u2014 16 correct: You are an unusually large dumper<\/p>\n 17 \u2014 19 correct: You are the biggest dumper that ever dumped<\/p>\n 20 correct: You are a typical NHL player<\/p>\n