DEAR ANNIE: My husband and I have been married for 11 years, and we\u2019ve always kept separate finances. It worked well until about a year ago, when he got laid off and started dipping into our joint emergency savings without telling me. I only found out when I went to pay our property taxes and the account was almost empty.<\/p>\n
When I confronted him, he said he didn\u2019t want to worry me and that he planned to \u201cput it all back.\u201d He\u2019s since picked up freelance work but hasn\u2019t replaced what he used.<\/p>\n
The problem is, I don\u2019t trust him anymore. I\u2019m still working full-time, paying most of our bills, and handling all the insurance and retirement stuff. I feel like I\u2019m being asked to hand over the keys to the car he already crashed. He says I\u2019m being dramatic and that couples shouldn\u2019t be so \u201ctransactional.\u201d<\/p>\n
Is it wrong to want to keep our finances separate going forward? — Guarding My Wallet<\/p>\n
DEAR GUARDING MY WALLET: Of course not, and a breach of trust like that is all the more reason to stay separate. A couples therapist can help rebuild what\u2019s broken. Until then, protect yourself and your future.<\/p>\n
Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com<\/a>.<\/p>\n If you purchase a product or register for an account through a link on our site, we may receive compensation. By using this site, you consent to our User Agreement<\/a> and agree that your clicks, interactions, and personal information may be collected, recorded, and\/or stored by us and social media and other third-party partners in accordance with our Privacy Policy.<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"DEAR ANNIE: My husband and I have been married for 11 years, and we\u2019ve always kept separate finances.…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":238036,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[64,63,99,186,184,185],"class_list":{"0":"post-238035","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-personal-finance","8":"tag-au","9":"tag-australia","10":"tag-business","11":"tag-finance","12":"tag-personal-finance","13":"tag-personalfinance"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/238035","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=238035"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/238035\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/238036"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=238035"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=238035"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=238035"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}