{"id":244426,"date":"2025-10-27T16:14:14","date_gmt":"2025-10-27T16:14:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/244426\/"},"modified":"2025-10-27T16:14:14","modified_gmt":"2025-10-27T16:14:14","slug":"my-always-told-me-my-brother-and-i-would-split-his-estate-evenly-once-he-died-thats-not-what-happened","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/244426\/","title":{"rendered":"My always told me my brother and I would split his estate evenly. Once he died, that’s not what happened."},"content":{"rendered":"

Pay Dirt is Slate\u2019s money advice column. Have a question? Send it to Kristin and Ilyce here<\/a>. (It\u2019s anonymous!)<\/p>\n

Dear Pay Dirt,<\/p>\n

My late father told me repeatedly I was a 50\u201350 beneficiary on his brokerage and IRA accounts.\u00a0My brother, my dad, and I all went to the broker together to complete the paperwork. Dad told me to expect $2,500,000 inheritance. I am a widow and cancer survivor and, knowing about the inheritance, I retired early from a 30-year banking career because I knew my own savings would be added to someday with this very generous inheritance.<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, despite the fact that my brother has gone bankrupt, been arrested for soliciting prostitutes, and been fired from multiple jobs, my dad bought my brother a house and cars for cash and paid for his children\u2019s college and weddings. Dad said he had to prop my brother up and wanted him to feel like a man, not a failure. He also made my brother executor of his will.<\/p>\n

I never lobbied for money for myself or my children and felt my parents could do as they pleased, even though it seemed they were being manipulated by my brother. I only wish my parents had enjoyed their money themselves on a few vacations versus bankrolling my brother always. I was grateful I only had to support myself and my children and not my parents. I appreciated the inheritance they told me to expect and which I was counting on.<\/p>\n

When my dad died, my brother delivered dad\u2019s death certificate to brokerage firms at lightning speed. He even called me the day after the funeral to hurry up and complete the account transfers, that I was delaying his money.<\/p>\n

I was surprised when the first firm gave me under $100,000. But I assumed my father\u2019s end of life care was greater than I knew and that the greater wealth must be held at the other broker. Then the second brokerage firm let it slip that I was a 10 percent beneficiary and my brother 90 percent! I asked when this changed; they could not say. I asked my brother when this was changed. He said dad changed it because he only wanted money going to \u201cmale bloodline family.\u201d<\/p>\n

I do not believe him. This was not the wish that my father and mother expressed to me, nor was it in accordance with the paperwork they gave to me. The broker told me beneficiaries can be changed online at any time and do not need witnesses.<\/p>\n

My brother had power of attorney\u00a0and may have changed the beneficiaries or forced a fragile, confused almost-100-year-old man to change it. The will states I am a 50\u201350 beneficiary, but the brokerage accounts pay outside the will.<\/p>\n

What are my options to correct the 50\u201350 split our late parents planned? My brother told me to suck it up.<\/p>\n

\u2014Smaller Piece of the Pie<\/p>\n

Dear Smaller Piece of the Pie,<\/p>\n

I\u2019m so sorry you\u2019re going through this. Losing your father is hard enough without discovering that your inheritance\u2014money you were counting on after retiring\u2014has mysteriously evaporated. The fact that your brother is telling you to \u201csuck it up\u201d while offering a dubious explanation about \u201cmale bloodlines\u201d must be incredibly hurtful.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s also suspicious. Your father told you repeatedly you were a 50\u201350 beneficiary, then brought you to the broker to complete paperwork. And, the will confirms this split. Now suddenly you\u2019re at 10 percent? Something doesn\u2019t add up.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s true that accounts with named beneficiaries bypass the will entirely\u2014they transfer directly to whoever is listed, regardless of what the will says. However, beneficiary changes made under duress, when someone lacks mental capacity, or through abuse of power of attorney can be challenged and, potentially, reversed.<\/p>\n

Please contact an estate attorney who specializes in elder financial abuse cases immediately. Time matters here\u2014many states have short windows for contesting these situations. Bring all your documentation, including the will, any written communications about the inheritance, and records of that broker visit.<\/p>\n

Your attorney can request records from the brokerage firms showing exactly when and how the beneficiary designations were changed. If these changes happened while your father was confused or fragile, or if your brother misused his POA, the changes could be deemed invalid. But you\u2019ll need to move very quickly before your brother takes the money and runs.<\/p>\n

If you need support, the National Elder Fraud Hotline (833-372-8311) can provide guidance and the National Center on Elder Abuse (ncea.acl.gov) has resources for your state.
I know confronting family about money is agonizing. Facing the idea that your brother committed fraud to steal what should be rightfully yours is worse. But this isn\u2019t about greed\u2014it\u2019s about ensuring your parents\u2019 true wishes were honored and that you receive what they intended for you, especially given that you made major life decisions based on their promises.
Good luck.<\/p>\n

\n Please keep questions short (<150 words), and don\u2018t submit the same question to multiple columns. We are unable to edit or remove questions after publication. Use pseudonyms to maintain anonymity. Your submission may be used in other Slate advice columns and may be edited for publication.\n <\/p>\n

Dear Pay Dirt,<\/p>\n

At a few months shy of my 60th birthday I find myself without a job due to my employer shutting down operations at the facility I worked at.<\/p>\n

Because we are debt free and I can go on my wife\u2019s health insurance policy we have decided I can retire instead of trying to find a job in a tight (especially for older workers) local labor market. I plan on pulling from a small 401(k) and pension from a previous employer right now, then collect Social Security at age 62. We have a modest savings\/emergency fund of about $75,000.<\/p>\n

My question involves my much larger 401(k) from my most recent employer that I was laid off from due to its closure. My asset allocation is set for me working until 67 and contributions to that point. Now, I will have no more contributions and probably start drawing from this 401(k) around age 63 or 64. What do you suggest I do as far as risk with this larger 401(k) right now? I could leave the allotment the same (set for retirement at 67), or I could go to the other extreme of very conservative so I don\u2019t lose much money considering the volatile times we are living in right now. Or I could just move it into a \u201ctarget\u201d fund of \u201cretiring\u201d at age 63.<\/p>\n

\u2014Surprise! I Am Retired<\/p>\n

Dear Surprise! I Am Retired,<\/p>\n

I\u2019m sorry about your job loss. Being laid off at 59 due to a facility closure is tough, especially when you\u2019d planned to work another seven years. You\u2019re right that the job market can be particularly challenging for older workers, and your decision to pivot to early retirement\u2014while practical given your debt-free status and access to your wife\u2019s health insurance\u2014probably wasn\u2019t how you envisioned this transition.<\/p>\n

The good news is you\u2019ve been smart with your finances. That $75,000 emergency fund and your debt-free lifestyle give you options many people don\u2019t have. But now you need to protect what you\u2019ve built since you\u2019ll be drawing on it sooner than expected.<\/p>\n

Start by reconsidering your asset allocation. With your timeline compressed from age 67 to 63 and 64, with no more contributions coming in, your current allocation is probably too aggressive. But don\u2019t panic and go ultra-conservative either\u2014that could mean missing growth you\u2019ll need for what could be 30-plus years of retirement.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

My Daughter Is Beginning to Notice Her Father\u2019s \u201cOddities.\u201d I Don\u2019t Know How to Explain It to Her.
\n <\/a><\/p>\n

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My Boyfriend Is Hung Like a Horse. He Refuses to Let Me Take a Ride.
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I Thought My Sister and I Were Cool. Then She Sent Me a Text Saying I Owed Her $9,000.
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<\/p>\n

Help! My Sister-in-Law Always Spoils My Holiday Plan the Same Way. This Year Is Going to Be Different.
\n <\/a><\/p>\n

A target-date fund for 2028 to 2030 (when you\u2019ll start drawing) could be a good solution. These automatically rebalance, becoming more conservative as you approach the target date. You might also push a portion of your money into a fund with a later target retirement date. If you have 30-plus years to go, those funds could ride out any short-term market volatility.<\/p>\n

Alternatively, consider a \u201cbucket strategy\u201d and keep 2-to-3 years of expenses in very conservative investments (money market, short-term bonds), another 3-to-5 years in moderate investments, and the rest in a balanced portfolio for longer-term growth. This way, you won\u2019t be forced to sell stocks during a downturn just to pay bills.<\/p>\n

Remember, even at 64, you might need this money to last 25 to 30 years, so some growth component remains important. Many advisors suggest keeping your age minus 10 in bonds (so at 60, that\u2019s 50 percent bonds, 50 percent stocks).<\/p>\n

Contact your 401(k) provider about their advisory services\u2014many offer free consultations that can help you model different scenarios based on your specific situation. Just be cautious if the advisor offers you a chance to buy annuities with your retirement funds. While these may promise a retirement stream of income for life, the upfront expenses can be significant.<\/p>\n

\u2014Ilyce<\/p>\n

More Money Advice From Slate<\/p>\n

My parents always treated my sister and me differently, but I\u2019m ashamed to say I didn\u2019t really understand that it was a problem, or take in the extent until I was in my late-20s. I got a college fund, encouragement, and help during my internships because I was \u201ca hard worker.\u201d My sister, two years older, was basically on her own after she graduated high school. <\/a><\/p>\n

Get the latest from Prudie and our columnists in your inbox each weekday, plus special bonus letters on Saturdays.\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Pay Dirt is Slate\u2019s money advice column. Have a question? Send it to Kristin and Ilyce here. (It\u2019s…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":244427,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[8786,64,63,99,2582,186,184,185],"class_list":{"0":"post-244426","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-personal-finance","8":"tag-advice","9":"tag-au","10":"tag-australia","11":"tag-business","12":"tag-family","13":"tag-finance","14":"tag-personal-finance","15":"tag-personalfinance"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/244426","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=244426"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/244426\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/244427"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=244426"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=244426"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=244426"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}