Over the past year my group of school friends have all turned 40. There are six of us, and we used to celebrate every one of our birthdays together. By some miracle of timing, our birthdays were evenly spaced across the year, so there was always a big dinner to look forward to and not too many presents to buy at once. Not that that mattered particularly \u2014 we all waitressed in pubs after school, which meant cash in hand every Friday, plus tips. By 15 we were practically millionaires, out for dinner several times a week, convinced this was what adulthood would be like, only with less curly fries and acne.<\/p>\n
Twenty-five years on, we can barely manage one get-together a year. Not because of our combined 12 children (though, yes, them too), but because everything costs so much: the trains, the restaurants, the basic logistics of being together.<\/p>\n
We laugh about how much expendable cash we had as teenagers, and we laugh because if we didn\u2019t we\u2019d cry. This week new research from MoneySuperMarket\u2019s Household Money Index found that parents with children under three now spend 76 per cent of their income on bills and essentials, leaving them with \u00a32,400 less disposable income per year than the average person. School and childcare costs have risen 23 per cent in the past year. Thirty-five per cent of families with children under four say they\u2019re struggling to make ends meet, while 46 per cent have experienced anxiety about paying essential bills. And 76 per cent have cut back on essentials just to cope \u2014 a quarter on food shopping, and many selling clothes or furniture to make ends meet.<\/p>\n
However, it isn\u2019t just parents feeling the squeeze<\/a>. The same report found that the average Brit now spends \u00a355.26 a day just to get by, an increase of 8 per cent from last year. Across a basket of everyday costs \u2014 from mortgages and groceries to gym memberships and subscriptions \u2014 everything has crept up: fuel up 18 per cent, mortgages 10 per cent, groceries 8 per cent and even the cost of pets, up 3 per cent. Life has become so expensive that \u201cjust existing\u201d now feels like an indulgence. But when you add nappies, nursery fees and endless snacks into the mix, the pressure on parents becomes its own category of impossible.<\/p>\n None of this surprises anyone of course. Especially those of us who appear to be doing fine \u2014 the ones who own houses, have jobs, but can\u2019t do anything spontaneous without a spreadsheet and a family meeting. One friend has cancelled her hair appointments \u2014 \u201cthe bleach costs more than my mortgage interest\u201d \u2014 while another has stopped buying coffee altogether because it now feels like a \u201cluxury hobby\u201d.<\/p>\n I recently wrote about the motherhood penalty \u2014 the \u00a365,000 drop in women\u2019s earnings after their first child \u2014 and the outpouring of messages from women in precarious financial positions was overwhelming. We are in a full-blown parenting crisis. Even dual-income households, the ones doing everything \u201cright,\u201d are being bulldozed by the cost of childcare, housing, food and bills.<\/p>\n \u2022 The true cost of motherhood? Start with \u00a365,000 in lost earnings<\/a><\/p>\n