Yumi Stynes meets stepmothers who’ve experienced the joy of loving their partner’s child as well as the difficulty of slotting into a ‘mum’ role when the kids already have one.<\/p>\n
‘No road map’ to being a stepmum<\/p>\n
Georgia’s hardly perpetuating the “evil stepmother” trope, but it doesn’t mean things are easy.<\/p>\n
Bailey Oliver Blackburn is an associate professor from the University of Arkansas, who researches stepfamilies. She is also a stepmum and stepdaughter.<\/p>\n
She says there is no “road map” for step-parenting, and a common mistake is assuming it will be easy.<\/p>\n
“A lot of times stepmums have met their future step kids when they were dating and the step kid liked them. They had things in common. There wasn’t a lot of resistance.”<\/p>\n
When the relationship suddenly changes, Dr Oliver Blackburn says “people are [confronted] with, ‘Oh, this is not what I expected. Maybe I am doing something wrong’.'”<\/p>\n
According to the Australian Institute of Family Studies, in 2021, 12 per cent of families were either step or blended, up from 6.5 per cent in 2011.<\/p>\n
Feeling unseen as a stepmum<\/p>\n
Maree, not her real name, was enjoying life alone with her dog and veggie patch until someone came along and “changed everything”.<\/p>\n
She was in her 30s when she met her now-husband online. He was up-front about having two teenagers.<\/p>\n
Because their father had fairly recently separated from their mother, Maree, from regional Victoria, says the kids were still finding their feet.<\/p>\n
“I very clearly remember the first meeting with both of the kids. It was a Sunday afternoon, my stepson was on his PlayStation and I think I got a ‘Hi’.”<\/p>\n