\u201cI feel like I\u2019m going to go home and cry,\u201d Conor Benn said quietly in the early hours of Sunday morning at the Tottenham\u00a0Hotspur Stadium. \u201cI think I\u2019m going to cry here. Oh man, it\u2019s been hard.\u201d<\/p>\n
Despite the surprising ease with which he had beaten his nemesis Chris Eubank Jr over 12 one-sided rounds on Saturday night<\/a>, Benn\u2019s face was bruised. But his mouth almost crumpled because of a different struggle locked deep with himself. In 2022, Benn tested positive for clomifene twice<\/a> in separate tests held months apart from each other.<\/p>\n He reacted angrily then \u2013 protesting his innocence vociferously but never producing in\u00a0public the evidence he said cleared him categorically of intentionally taking a prohibited substance. Benn was in undoubted turmoil but the infamy did not hurt\u00a0his bank balance.<\/p>\n Benn made a reputed \u00a37.5m seven months ago when he was finally allowed to return to the ring in Britain \u2013 but he lost clearly against Eubank Jr in a brutal bout<\/a>. That defeat was his first as a professional and it hurt far more because it was doled out by a man he claimed then to detest.<\/p>\n He earned even more on Saturday when he apparently took home \u00a38m to Eubank Jr\u2019s \u00a310m. But he did not look like a man with money on his mind. \u201cYou go through things in life but you just have to keep fighting,\u201d the 29-year-old said. \u201cFacing your own demons every single day. That\u2019s your hardest fight. You have to live in your head every single day. Getting in the ring is no problem.\u201d<\/p>\n He said his uncharacteristically composed performance was driven by a resentment towards those who doubt him: \u201cIt\u2019s the chip on my shoulder, people saying \u2018Oh, you can\u2019t box, you can\u2019t do this or that.\u2019 I woke up with that feeling every morning \u2013 people think I can\u2019t outbox him for 12 rounds? Watch me. That fuelled me.\u201d<\/p>\n Benn is highly emotional and complex and he admitted that \u201cit\u2019s hard for me to tone it down \u2026 but I felt a lot of pressure from my team to get it right. You can\u2019t get it right for eight weeks and not on fight night. You\u2019d be a mug.\u201d<\/p>\n Benn boxed with such authority that he was entitled to remind us that: \u201cI said earlier in the week there was going to be a systematic beat-down and that\u2019s what I done\u201d. At one stage in his domination of Eubank, Benn revealed, \u201cI said to him: \u2018This is easy work. Is that all you got?\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n Benn seems determined to move down from middleweight to his natural home at welterweight \u2013 where he needs to shed 13 pounds to make the 147 limit. \u201cIt\u2019s going to be hard,\u201d he conceded while stressing that his \u201cdream\u201d is to emulate his father, Nigel, by winning the WBC world title.<\/p>\n Chris Eubank Jr (left) refused to discuss his future and any pre-fight problems after the comprehensive loss. Photograph: Justin Setterfield\/Getty Images<\/p>\n Eubank Jr had looked severely diminished in the ring but, to his credit, he came out to face the media first. \u201cI\u2019ve been through hell and back to make it here today,\u201d he said, hinting at unspoken \u201cissues\u201d during his long camp. \u201cI genuinely thought that regardless of the issues that I\u2019ve been dealing with, I would be able to go in and win. But from that first round I realised I was mistaken.\u201d<\/p>\n He held our gaze. \u201cI\u2019m a fighter. This is what I do, regardless of the dangers and the risk. We go to war. I tried my best but Conor put on a hell of a fight. I congratulate him.\u201d<\/p>\n skip past newsletter promotion<\/a><\/p>\n The best of our sports journalism from the past seven days and a heads-up on the weekend\u2019s action<\/p>\n Privacy Notice: Newsletters may contain information about charities, online ads, and content funded by outside parties. If you do not have an account, we will create a guest account for you on theguardian.com<\/a> to send you this newsletter. You can complete full registration at any time. For more information about how we use your data see our Privacy Policy<\/a>. We use Google reCaptcha to protect our website and the Google Privacy Policy<\/a> and Terms of Service<\/a> apply.<\/p>\n after newsletter promotion<\/p>\n Asked to explain his problems, Eubank shook his head. \u201cNo, this night\u2019s about Conor. He fought a great fight and I\u2019m not here to talk about me. He\u2019s a tough man and a great fighter.\u201d<\/p>\n He sounded like a man who was done with boxing. \u201cNo, we\u2019re not talking about that. I\u2019m not in a state of mind to be thinking about next fights. I need to heal. I need to deal with what I\u2019m dealing with.\u201d<\/p>\n Someone asked Eubank if he was OK. \u201cI\u2019m alive. I\u2019m happy. I get to do what I love every day, regardless of the trials and tribulations. I\u2019m still fulfilled. So I\u2019m good. I\u2019m OK.\u201d<\/p>\n Eubank has persisted more than most in still asking questions about Benn\u2019s positive drug tests but, with the fight beaten out of him, he was less belligerent and dogged than usual: \u201cIf you share a ring with a man for 12 rounds or 24 rounds you have that respect.\u201d<\/p>\n There was relief, too, in the fact that Benn had also run out of animosity. Asked if his vanquished 36-year-old rival should retire Benn said: \u201cHe\u2019s got more important things to worry about \u2013 with twin boys [who are due to be born soon]. He\u2019s a dad of two now and that\u2019s always a priority. It\u2019s not down to me to say whether or not he should retire.\u201d<\/p>\n