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\n The crew gets so caught up in flirting and jockeying for romantic interest that they can\u2019t focus on their actual jobs.
\n Photo: Bravo\n <\/p>\n
Well, that was an anti-climactic denouement to primary Joe\u2019s search for love. To clear this out of the way, so we can get to the crew\u2019s work and personal drama: At the end of the second night of the charter, Amy asks Joe to pick two final ladies. Though Joe concedes that Anna has been \u201cher own unique and independent self,\u201d he kicks her off the boat along with Mariely, which is just as well, since Mariely decided Joe was giving \u201clow net worth\u201d anyway. Joe and Alicia make out on the sundeck, and later that night, Alicia asks Kizzi to grab Joe for her after everyone goes to bed. In the morning, Cathy becomes convinced there is foundation on Joe\u2019s pillow, suggesting that Alicia was there during the night.<\/p>\n
Kizzi and Cathy are laughing and riffing about FoundationGate \u2014\u00a0Alicia \u201cpissed on him\u201d to mark her territory, they joke; she \u201csprayed him like a skunk\u201d \u2014 when Ashleigh happens to walk by. It ends up being good for Ashleigh, who barely had any screen time until this very minute. She tries, but the problem really is Joe. After a romantic dinner, he tells them he wants to date them both. Neither of them likes the idea very much, but Ashleigh is particularly incensed; she was already nurturing an ick from when he told her that he wants to have ten kids. \u201cIt\u2019s not a buffet,\u201d she reminds him before texting Amy that they are both dumping Joe. The next day, she Irish exits before anyone else is up, the only correct way to leave this situation. It all makes great gossip for the crew: Kizzi, who was on her night shift when it all went down, leaves a Post-it note in Aesha\u2019s bathroom detailing the drama for her to find in the morning.<\/p>\n
Over breakfast, Joe apologizes to Alicia about how strange their last night was. It\u2019s kind of a best-case scenario for him that Ashleigh left, because he gets to tell Alicia he wants to keep seeing her without having to ditch Ashleigh. It\u2019s all so painfully awkward, though. I almost crumbled into dust when I saw Alicia and Joe link arms walking down the dock. For her part, Amy is \u201cso confused\u201d about how it all ended. How does one get Amy\u2019s job? It doesn\u2019t seem like she\u2019s particularly good at it, yet there she is, on a yacht, enjoying an \u201cold-fashioned burger\u201d \u2014 as opposed, of course, to an avant-garde burger \u2014 and a glass of wine while other people embarrass themselves. Don\u2019t get me wrong, I love writing recaps, but that\u2019s a pretty good situation this Amy has found herself in \u2026<\/p>\n
The gamified charter is a success with the crew. One thing they love about it is that they keep losing guests, so by the time it\u2019s the last day of the charter, they\u2019re down to four people. You would think that would make everyone\u2019s job so much easier. Sandy even tells the deck team not to bother putting the slide in for the second day, since the guests haven\u2019t demonstrated any eagerness to be in the water or use the toys. When they undock at night, it goes great, and Nathan is so happy with how far his team has come. Everything is so chill that the deck team relaxes way too much.<\/p>\n
Sandy catches Max and Joe doing breathing exercises during the anchor drop. She starts to think that since Joe arrived, the vibe on deck has been more fun than work. Sandy had already expressed that Nathan\u2019s real test as a bosun would begin once they settled on a functional, good team, but Nathan has spent so much time marveling at how much his team improved that he let its hierarchy fall out of order. For example: The next morning, when Nathan sends Joe down to eat, Joe takes a 45-minute break while Nathan covers his position. Nathan himself only gets 15 minutes when Joe finally comes up. Noticing that he took too long, Joe straight up lies that he was \u201chelping out\u201d in the galley and in cabins, when really he was eating Josh\u2019s leftover madeleines and flirting with the stews.<\/p>\n
Instead of setting a boundary right then and there, Nathan tells Joe that it\u2019s fine. Things get worse when, later, Joe leaves the swim platform for a \u201cdeck check,\u201d since there are no guests outside. The absence of deckhands on the swim platform becomes an issue for the rest of the charter. When Sandy notices there is no one there, she radios Nathan, but Nathan is in the crew mess without his radio. Failing to reach him, Sandy goes down to the crew mess, where she sees Nathan, Max, and Joe all there at the same time, a sight, she says, that she \u201cnever wants to see again, not on charter.\u201d She reiterates that there is always supposed to be at least one person on the swim platform. The guys look like kids who just got caught by the principal.<\/p>\n
Back on the platform, Nathan tells Joe that he is \u201cfuming\u201d \u2014 Joe shouldn\u2019t have left. Joe apologizes and, in a confessional, admits he\u2019s been slacking because his friend is his boss. This self-awareness is good, but can it turn into accountability? It doesn\u2019t matter that you know you\u2019re doing something wrong if you\u2019re unwilling to stop doing it. This is kind of a theme for Joe, as we\u2019ll see when we go over his romantic \u201cpickle.\u201d In any case, it\u2019s Nathan\u2019s neck on the line. Sandy calls him to the bridge for a talking-to. She encourages him to be less friendly and more professional. Nathan seems embarrassed; the talk strikes a chord with him.<\/p>\n
Before he can get the deck team ready for departure \u2014 they have to return to dock because of weather again \u2014 Nathan asks Aesha for leadership advice. She tells him to be stricter, firm but fair. Just then, Max radios Nathan to let him know he\u2019s on the swim platform. Nathan tells him to stay there, but not a minute later, Max comes up to where Aesha and Nathan are talking. He says he has to go to the bathroom. Frustrated that Max is illustrating the deck team\u2019s inability to respect his authority, Nathan sends Max back and reiterates that there needs to be someone on the swim platform at all times. Not unreasonably, Max points out that he could hear Nathan upstairs, which is why he felt free to ask him to switch in person rather than over the radio. Nathan is slightly overreacting, probably not only because he was talking about this very problem as it happened but because it seems easier for him to be hard on Max than on Joe.<\/p>\n
In fact, I didn\u2019t think Nathan had it in him to take a hard line with Joe until the next day. As the boat gets ready to dock, Nathan sees Joe and V flirting and smilingly asks them to focus. Sandy calls it their smoothest docking to date, so morale seems to be improving. But in the afternoon, Max and Joe take a nearly hourlong break in the crew mess while V works. In a perfect demonstration of his awareness-versus-accountability issue, it occurs to Joe that they probably shouldn\u2019t be in the crew mess together. But when Max quips that they should be on the swim platform instead \u2014 even though they\u2019re docked \u2014 Joe laughs and continues to chill. Nathan calls them out on the radio so that Sandy can hear it. \u201cCan\u2019t be sitting around, lads,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n
By the time Nathan catches up with Joe, he\u2019s pissed. He wants to know what they were doing, and when Joe can\u2019t fully answer, he reminds him that they can\u2019t just be doing whatever \u2014 they have to check in with the bosun. Joe puts his tail between his legs, but Max is less willing to take Nathan\u2019s crankiness. (\u201cEmotionally, I\u2019m going to be a storm,\u201d he says in one of his wonderful Maxisms.) It\u2019s a jarring 180 from the precedent Nathan had set \u2014 realizing he\u2019s being taken advantage of, he all of a sudden becomes a hard-ass. It\u2019s not convincing. He has yet to figure out how to strike Aesha\u2019s balance of friendliness and discipline. Aesha gets along great with her stews, but she constantly finds gentle ways to reinforce their hierarchy \u2014 saying she\u2019s proud of them, for example, or thanking them for what they\u2019ve done. In a way, that reminds the girls that she\u2019s above them while still making them feel valued.<\/p>\n
At the tip meeting, Sandy tells the deck team she was disappointed, though she makes an explicit point to exclude V from that. The crew makes $2,200 each from a $25,000 tip. Aesha gathers her stews to give Cathy another stripe \u2014 it seemed ridiculous to have her as a third with all of that experience, so now Cathy and Kizzi are both second stews. Say what you will about Kizzi, but she is a good team player. She reacts well to Cathy\u2019s promotion, even though she hates it inside. She knows that her jealousy is her own problem and makes a conscious effort not to let it affect her work. It\u2019s a huge relief for Aesha that Kizzi reacted so nicely, and though she acts messily for the rest of the night, at least when it comes to work, she has admirable poise.<\/p>\n
If only she could keep it when it comes to boys! All episode, Joe goes on and on about how badly he feels about his new love triangle. There are two aspects of his behavior that I find unpardonably aggravating. One, this refrain about how it\u2019s just going to kill him if V gets hurt, as if it\u2019s out of his control whether or not she does. Two, that he seems to assume Kizzi can\u2019t get hurt. He is acting like he is forced by the law to get involved with them. If it\u2019s all so \u201cscary\u201d to him, why doesn\u2019t he just back off? In an effort to heed Aesha\u2019s advice on their night out, he tells V that he\u2019s not looking to attach any strings, when really he should have said: I want to also have sex with Kizzi. V thinks that\u2019s his way of warning her not to \u201cgo down the rabbit hole,\u201d though she still wants to \u201cexplore Wonderland\u201d with him (ew). Later, she tells Kizzi she really likes him. Joe tells the boys that he is scared of how much he might like V, which I also don\u2019t get. Why not date her then? What is the problem?<\/p>\n
Somehow, though, most of this week\u2019s romance drama has less to do with Joe than it does with Max, over whom Kizzi and Cathy compete. That\u2019s at least partly fueled by Kizzi\u2019s drive to compete with Cathy in general, but to be fair, she has had chemistry with Max since the beginning. Max flirts with both of them indiscriminately, without seeming worried about any repercussions. He jokes around with Cathy that she was \u201cmade in China\u201d when she makes fun of her own \u201cfake nose, fake boobs, and fake hair,\u201d then checks in with her later to make sure he didn\u2019t offend. He is sensitive, but he also has no problem telling Kizzi he got a boner just from looking at her, especially after she jumped into his arms in the morning.<\/p>\n
Kizzi is thrilled with the news and goes around the boat telling everyone. Cathy rolls her eyes, particularly because she told Kizzi earlier that she wants to kiss Max, to which Kizzi suggested they \u201call shag.\u201d Aiming for peace, Kizzi and Cathy do face and feet masks together before going out, and in the vans, they acknowledge they both like Max. By the time they\u2019re at dinner, though, it\u2019s every woman for herself. Cathy lays it on pretty thick, asking if Max likes her hair. She encourages Kizzi to pursue Joe, but Kizzi is reluctant; she knows how much V likes him. Cathy tells her that it\u2019s a necessary move so that V will \u201cback off a little bit.\u201d Okay, Cathy! Then you can\u2019t be that mad when Kizzi makes out with Max in the hot tub back at the Bravado.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Maybe that\u2019s too harsh \u2014 she\u2019s allowed to be a little ticked off. It was right in her face! She complains to Aesha, then gets out of the hot tub. Joe and V almost kiss, but don\u2019t. Nathan skips the hot tub and goes straight to bed because he\u2019s serious now. Maybe he\u2019s thinking of Gael, whom he FaceTimed the previous night for some emotional support. The most unbothered person in this whole cast is Josh. All he does is work hard and have fun; he even takes his pants off to get in the hot tub. There wasn\u2019t a lot of pressure on him this charter \u2014 the guests seemed completely uninterested in having a gastronomic experience. Does that mean Josh used all of his extra time to write that very strange poem for Kizzi? I love him and love that he\u2019s throwing his hat in the ring, but it seems like a long shot \u2026 unless Kizzi surprises us all.<\/p>\n
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