{"id":299170,"date":"2025-11-21T11:47:09","date_gmt":"2025-11-21T11:47:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/299170\/"},"modified":"2025-11-21T11:47:09","modified_gmt":"2025-11-21T11:47:09","slug":"vecchiojo-you-actually-know-youre-a-proper-cyclist-when","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/299170\/","title":{"rendered":"VecchioJo: You actually know you\u2019re a ‘proper’ cyclist when\u2026"},"content":{"rendered":"

The whole ‘You know you\u2019re a cyclist when’ trope is an easy page-filling internet landfill listicle that\u2019s a flippant bingo card exam to earn your acceptance into The Club, whatever that may be, and that\u2019s only once you\u2019ve sweet-talked your way past the grumpy-yet-amiable-in-the-end gatekeeper.\u00a0<\/p>\n

It usually starts with the clich\u00e9d qualifier of shaving your legs, then continues to riding your first 100-miler. Then we travel past having more cycling shoes than normal shoes, knowing the exact weight of your bike but not the colour of your partner\u2019s eyes, and finishes somewhere around about having a separate razor especially for those legs, which is when you know you\u2019ve finally made it to the highest echelon of this made-up peloton.<\/p>\n

They\u2019re all jolly fun rusty stereotypes and mildly chucklesome status qualifiers to work through to help validate your wheeled existence if you needed to, even if they do veer dangerously towards the Velominati<\/a> at times. Although it seems that most everyone happily ignores that set of eye-rolling commandments these days.<\/p>\n

Your definition of what makes you A Cyclist will probably vary wildly, and you may not even want to be categorised as one and happily just be a person on a bike enjoying the breeze of nuanced distinction; but none of these oft-regurgitated badges of honour are the whole story of spending time on a bike. It is those little moments in between the milestone distances, desperately justifying the cost of fancy parts, abiding by some arcane laws, finding the perfect sock length and participating in strange faux-religious rituals that have scarred my memory, impacted me and defined me more as A Cyclist than anything else.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Without further ado, here are the things I truly think\u00a0define someone as A Cyclist…<\/p>\n

1. You\u2019ve broken something brand new on its first ride<\/p>\n

2. You\u2019ve had a near-death moment where, thanks only to the grace of your God and not by any skill on your part, you\u2019ve somehow got away with it<\/p>\n

3. You\u2019ve suffered a terminal mechanical and had a long walk home in the wrong shoes<\/p>\n

4. You\u2019ve taken your bike on holiday… and it\u2019s arrived three days later<\/p>\n

5. You\u2019ve broken a collarbone<\/p>\n

6. You\u2019ve sat down by the side of the road with your head in your hands, sobbing with tiredness<\/p>\n

7. You\u2019ve been so cold and wet that you can\u2019t get the key in the front door<\/p>\n

8. You\u2019ve had to knock on the door of a camper van parked by the side of the road to ask if they have any food<\/p>\n

9. You\u2019ve had a crash where the cost of trashed components and ripped clothing has been significantly more traumatic than the bodily injuries<\/p>\n

10. You\u2019ve overdone it and got ill for months<\/p>\n

11. You\u2019ve had a friend killed by a car driver while\u00a0just out riding their bike<\/p>\n

\"brokenbroken mech – 1 (2).jpg (credit: road.cc)<\/p>\n

There are times when I\u2019ll proudly identify as A Cyclist, and more than often I’m quite happy to scoot around the corner and distance myself from that epithet, but I can tick\u00a0a lot off this\u00a0Cyclist List without being in a desperate hurry to shout ‘full house’. There is one that has evaded me, but to mention it would be not just tempting fate with a pssstpssstpsssst, but offering it a large plate of sausages. I do have a hell of a lot of cleated shoes though…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"The whole ‘You know you\u2019re a cyclist when’ trope is an easy page-filling internet landfill listicle that\u2019s a…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":299171,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[569],"tags":[64,63,784,85],"class_list":{"0":"post-299170","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-cycling","8":"tag-au","9":"tag-australia","10":"tag-cycling","11":"tag-sports"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/299170","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=299170"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/299170\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/299171"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=299170"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=299170"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=299170"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}