The thumping loss at Jamaica’s most famous ground ended a three-Test series on a laughable note, tinged with a sobering question about whether it may be the last tour of the Caribbean by a major Test power.<\/p>\n
It was a day of such high farce that it was something of a footnote when Scott Boland became the 12th Australian to take a Test hat-trick<\/a> and ended up with another batch of Test figures \u2014 3-2 \u2014 where it’s not immediately clear which number is the wickets and which is the runs.<\/p>\n Scott Boland’s hat-trick was somehow just a B-plot to Mitchell Starc’s brilliance. (AP: Ricardo Mazalan)<\/p>\n But Mitchell Starc was the brightest star on the day.<\/p>\n With the West Indies chasing only 204 to win, there was hope. Then first-over Starc arrived.<\/p>\n John Campbell nicked the first ball of the innings and wicketkeeper Josh Inglis, replacing a concussed Alex Carey, completed a simple catch.<\/p>\n We didn’t know it yet, but we were off to the races, in as much as Oscar Piastri’s McLaren “races” against a family sedan that’s missed its last five years of scheduled services.<\/p>\n The records that tumbled in Kingston<\/a><\/p>\n These are the records that tumbled on a remarkable day of Test cricket in Jamaica.<\/p>\n Four balls later, debutant Kevlon Anderson shouldered arms to a trademark Starc in-swinger that smashed into his front ankle. He was quickly given out, then signalled for one of history’s worst reviews, with the ball-tracking showing a missile snapping his middle stump in half.<\/p>\n One ball later, Brandon King, the host’s top scorer for the series, was up next. And out next as he played at the same ball Anderson left alone, but forgot to close his front gate and heard his stumps smashed apart.<\/p>\n It was 3-0 after the first over and it carried on from there.<\/p>\n Often these collapses start and we get out the history books to see how bad it’s going to get, but usually there’s at least one partnership that restores sanity. Not on this day.<\/p>\n Australia is no stranger to playing Test cricket at night-time. (AP: Ricardo Mazalan)<\/p>\n Starc had two more (in three balls) to make it 400 for his career, and Josh Hazlewood had even chimed in with one by the time Justin Greaves and Alzarri Joseph started the seventh-wicket partnership with their team narrowly avoiding copyright infringement on 6-11 after just 33 deliveries.<\/p>\n They knocked off 15 runs in eight overs, but then came Boland \u2014 nicking off Greaves, trapping Shamar Joseph in front, then castling Jomel Warrican in successive balls.<\/p>\n Starc aptly finished things off by clean bowling Jayden Seales to finish with 6-9 as the West Indies avoided tying the record for the worst score in Test history by one measly run.<\/p>\n It was a comedy of errors and, like all the best comedies, was squeezed into a tight 90 minutes with an intermission for a cuppa.<\/p>\n Of course, it was a travesty for the likes of former captain Carl Hooper, who for the second time<\/a> in three years,<\/a> found himself lamenting the sorry state of this once great side as it flailed around in the Test scene it used to dominate.<\/p>\n Batting against a pink ball is tough even for the best of the best. (AP: Ricardo Mazalan)<\/p>\n The days of Malcolm Marshall, Michael Holding, Andy Roberts and Joel Garner are gone, they cry.<\/p>\n Of course, even the Curtly Ambrose and Courtney Walsh era was decades ago, and the aura has long since been killed, cremated, buried and launched into the Sun \u2014 perhaps it happened the day Garner-sized Sulieman Benn decided to bowl off-spin instead of pace.<\/p>\n The finale of that three-Test series in July was a particularly bizarre display, but it wasn’t as much of an outlier as you might think, especially for Starc.<\/p>\n The left-arm seamer has played in every one of Australia’s day-night Test matches and has an utterly freakish record.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
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