{"id":32373,"date":"2025-07-30T12:03:10","date_gmt":"2025-07-30T12:03:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/32373\/"},"modified":"2025-07-30T12:03:10","modified_gmt":"2025-07-30T12:03:10","slug":"year-of-yes-helped-this-southern-gal-adjust-to-a-new-life-in-new-york-city","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/32373\/","title":{"rendered":"\u2018Year of Yes\u2019 Helped This Southern Gal Adjust to a New Life in New York City"},"content":{"rendered":"

A lot of people dream of life in the big city; from iconic movies and television, many of us imagine a life full of adventure, romance, drama, and excitement worlds away from the small or midsize towns we grew up in. Yet dreaming and doing are very different things, and when Nwadi Oko,<\/a> a corporate lawyer from Louisiana, packed up and moved to New York City in 2022, she became one of the many people who took the big swing of starting over in a new town.<\/p>\n

\u201cI used to live in New Orleans,\u201d says Oko, who studied journalism at the University of Missouri and then law at Tulane. \u201cEveryone is really kind, and it\u2019s kind of a slow life.\u201d New York City, by contrast, is famously not slow, and when it comes to kindness in NYC, well \u2026 IYKYK. Oko quickly discovered that the glamorous Carrie Bradshaw\/Maxine Shaw <\/a>lifestyle that fuels so many transplants\u2019 ambitions wasn\u2019t happening, at least not right away, and the chasm between what she envisioned for herself and her present reality started to get to her. \u201cIt was a lot all at once,\u201d Oko tells Shondaland. \u201cI was working in corporate law. So, that\u2019s, like, insane [in itself]. I\u2019m in this new city, and I have family here but really not a lot of friends, and I found myself in this depression. I was in a car with one of my friends, who\u2019s also a lawyer, and I was telling her, \u2018I\u2019m depressed. I\u2019ve been in New York for two and a half years, and I\u2019m just not living the life I want to live.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

Her friend recommended that Oko read Shonda Rhimes\u2019 memoir, Year of Yes<\/a>. \u201cI was like, \u2018Okay, I\u2019m telling you I\u2019m struggling, and you suggest reading a book. Got it,\u2019\u201d she says. Oko brushed her reservations aside, though, and in April this year dove into Year of Yes.<\/a> \u201cWhen the book started, a lot of it was about [Rhimes] struggling with family and career, and I didn\u2019t really resonate with that, but the second half of the book really shifted my perspective about the way she perceives choice. Everything is a choice, and by saying \u2018yes\u2019 to something, I\u2019m saying no to so many other things.\u201d<\/p>\n

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The cast of Living Single. <\/p>\n

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Oko began to mind her choices, like how instead of going to bed at 9:30 p.m., she\u2019d scroll through TikTok for three hours. \u201cAnd me saying \u2018yes\u2019 to TikTok means saying no to a good night\u2019s sleep, repairing my brain, not protecting my mental health.\u201d Ozo says she also resonated with Rhimes\u2019 frank discussion of her weight-loss journey \u2014 how her consumption of sweets and other delicious but not-so-great-for-you foods prioritized short-term comfort over long-term goals. \u201cI feel like this book was all about vision, perception, and prioritizing your future you. And so, I started implementing those changes myself,\u201d Oko says.<\/p>\n

She adopted Rhimes\u2019 approach of saying \u201cyes\u201d to things she would typically say no to. \u201cSo, if I was sitting on the couch and I was like, \u2018I don\u2019t want to work out,\u2019 I would immediately put on my shoes, go to the gym. I also started playing piano again. I played piano as a kid, and then my piano teacher switched careers, and I didn\u2019t end up looking for another one. But I recently started playing again, and it\u2019s brought me so much joy and so much confidence,\u201d Oko says.<\/p>\n

Perhaps her biggest shift as a result of reading Year of Yes has been her newfound ability to bloom where she\u2019s planted \u2014 to embrace her new hometown by doing the work required to make new friends. She says, \u201cI used to just, like, sit around and be like, \u2018No one\u2019s gonna hit me up.\u2019 But now, it\u2019s like, \u2018No, put your shoes on, go outside, and make friends. Put yourself out there, and say \u2018yes\u2019 to your social life.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201c Put yourself out there, and say \u2018yes\u2019 to your social life.\u201d<\/p>\n

Everyone who\u2019s tried to make friends as an adult knows how difficult and debilitating it can be; it\u2019s not like college, where you can easily fall into a pack or make friends with the people you bump into at the library. \u201cYou have to create your own opportunities and put yourself out there,\u201d she says. \u201cBy me texting my friends and saying, \u2018Hey, do you want to get dinner?\u2019 I\u2019m giving people the opportunity to say \u2018yes\u2019 to me as opposed to just waiting for someone.\u00a0In the book, she talked about [the fear of] people not liking her or not doing a good job, and I had an almost crippling fear of rejection. Once I started putting myself out there, it got easier and easier, and I realized there\u2019s actually nothing to be afraid of.\u201d<\/p>\n

Malcolm Venable is a Senior Staff Writer at Shondaland. Follow him on Twitter\u00a0@malcolmvenable<\/a>.<\/p>\n