It had about as much drama and suspense as reading a dictionary or watching election results come in from North Korea.<\/p>\n
To the surprise of no one, Donald Trump<\/a> won the inaugural Fifa peace prize on Friday at a cheesy, gaudy and gauche World Cup draw expertly designed to flatter the world\u2019s most precious ego.<\/p>\n \u201cThis is your prize \u2013 this is your peace prize!\u201d gushed Gianni Infantino<\/a>, the bald-headed Fifa president, after Trump took the stage at the John F Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts in snowy Washington.<\/p>\n There on a plinth, with \u201cDonald J Trump\u201d emblazoned on it in capital letters, was the uncoveted trophy: a golden globe resting on five golden hands big enough to compensate any tiny-handed recipient feeling sore about the Nobel peace prize.<\/p>\n But wait, there was more. \u201cThere is also a beautiful medal for you that you can wear everywhere you want to go,\u201d added Infantino, knowing that with Trump there is no such thing as too much.<\/p>\n Glowing oranger than usual under the stage lights, Trump eagerly put the medal around his neck without waiting for Infantino to do the honours. He told the audience of 2,000 people: \u201cThis is truly one of the great honours of my life.\u201d<\/p>\n It was a Norwegian football commentator<\/a> who once memorably celebrated victory over England by shouting: \u201cMaggie Thatcher \u2026 your boys took a hell of a beating!\u201d Now Fifa had delivered its own \u201cNorwegian Nobel committee \u2026 your boys took a hell of a beating!\u201d rebuke to the body that snubbed its favourite president.<\/p>\n Foreign leaders such as Keir Starmer and Benjamin Netanyahu have learned over the past year that flattering Trump is like feeding gold candy to a baby. The more blatant and obvious, the better it works. Now, thanks to Infantino, Trump was centre-stage at world sport\u2019s greatest spectacle.<\/p>\n History sure does rhyme. Benito Mussolini used the 1934 World Cup<\/a> in Italy to promote a resurgent Roman empire. Before every match, the Italian team performed the \u201cRoman salute\u201d. Il Duce even created a special trophy, the \u201cCoppa del Duce\u201d, which was six times bigger than the official Jules Rimet World Cup trophy.<\/p>\n The last time the US hosted the World Cup, in 1994, the draw was held in Las Vegas and President Bill Clinton did not attend. But Infantino, who regards America as football\u2019s undiscovered country of profit, has pursued Trump as ardently as Count Dracula crossing oceans of time to find his lost love.<\/p>\n The Fifa supremo was spotted at Trump\u2019s second inauguration earlier this year and is a regular guest in the Oval Office and at his Mar-a-Lago estate in Florida. He made no objection when Trump elbowed his way into Chelsea\u2019s Club World Cup celebration<\/a>. Fifa has even opened a new office in Trump Tower in New York.<\/p>\n The World Cup final draw was therefore held without irony at the Kennedy Center, where Senate Democrats have launched an investigation into alleged cronyism and corruption under the leadership of a Trump appointee, just round the corner from the Watergate building, where a burglary and cover-up brought down Richard Nixon.<\/p>\n All very Fifa<\/a>.<\/p>\n