{"id":371685,"date":"2025-12-25T21:15:12","date_gmt":"2025-12-25T21:15:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/371685\/"},"modified":"2025-12-25T21:15:12","modified_gmt":"2025-12-25T21:15:12","slug":"kiwi-rugby-star-charmaine-smith-on-miscarriage-grief","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/371685\/","title":{"rendered":"Kiwi rugby star Charmaine Smith on miscarriage & grief"},"content":{"rendered":"

Kiwi rugby star Charmaine Smith<\/a> has endured one of the greatest heartbreaks a parent can face \u2013 the loss of her unborn baby daughter Marama. In the raw months that followed, she found the only thing that made the pain even slightly more bearable was hearing the stories of others who had walked a similar path.<\/p>\n

Now, the former Black Fern \u2212 who is also a police officer \u2212 is sharing her own story, in the hope it might offer comfort to others navigating the same unimaginable grief.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t want to hide Marama \u2013 she was a person,\u201d explains Charmaine, who is also mum to four-year-old Am\u012bria with fianc\u00e9 Tamati Thompson. <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd I want people to feel like they can talk about things like this. There\u2019s a stigma around grieving in silence after miscarriage.\u201d<\/p>\n

In June, Charmaine, 34, was delighted to find out she was pregnant. The news came during a challenging time with rugby and was a bright spot. Charmaine laughs as she shares how Am\u012bria \u201cmanifested\u201d her sibling.<\/p>\n

\u201cBefore we even knew we were pregnant, Am\u012bria was telling people she was a big sister.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"Charmaine and Tamati with their \u201cray of sunshine\u201d Am\u012bria. (Credit: Kirsty Joy Photography)<\/p>\n

Shocking news at 12 weeks<\/p>\n

But at 12 weeks, test results showed their baby had a one-in-five chance of developing a chromosomal disorder<\/a> that would not be compatible with life. When they saw an obstetrician a week later for further tests, the prognosis was grim, though still not definitive.<\/p>\n

Tells Charmaine, \u201cThe specialist said, \u2018I would be really surprised if your baby didn\u2019t have one of those conditions.\u2019 So I prepared for the worst but hoped for the best. Tamati\u2019s the opposite \u2212 he is so optimistic and glass-half-full. I started grieving from that point, but he was like, \u2018We\u2019ll wait until we get the results.\u2019\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n

Five weeks of anxious waiting<\/p>\n

While the news alone was devastating, one of the hardest parts of the process for the Whang\u0101rei- based couple was the waiting. It was a five-week emotional rollercoaster, says Charmaine, all while nurturing a baby she wasn\u2019t sure she would ever get to see grow up.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

The emotional rollercoaster<\/p>\n

\u201cIt was weeks of going around in circles \u2013 feeling positive, then worried and not being able to function. It was really hard. I found myself looking for other people\u2019s stories, trying to feel less alone. That\u2019s part of why I decided to share mine \u2212 because I know what it feels like to need that.\u201d<\/p>\n

Throughout it all, Am\u012bria kept her mum going.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe was a ray of sunshine,\u201d Charmaine smiles. <\/p>\n

\u201cSometimes she would see Mum sad and not understand why. But she would come out and give us dance performances. You\u2019re having the worst moments of your life, but then there\u2019s this beautiful little person.\u201d<\/p>\n

Joy amid heartbreak<\/p>\n

And on the day they received the devastating news that their baby had triploidy \u2013 three copies of every chromosome instead of the usual two \u2013 and would not survive, it was Am\u012bria\u2019s joyful singing that Charmaine remembers most vividly.<\/p>\n

\u201cShe was sitting in the back of the car singing, \u2018If you\u2019re happy and you know it, clap your hands.\u2019 It was such a surreal moment on one of the hardest days of our lives.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\" (Credit: Kirsty Joy Photography)<\/p>\n

A heartbreaking arrival<\/p>\n

On September 22, at 10.20pm, Charmaine and Tamati\u2019s tiny baby girl was born sleeping. This unimaginably difficult experience was made harder, says Charmaine, because she was treated in a surgical ward, which meant she wasn\u2019t under the care of her midwife<\/a>.<\/p>\n

\u201cI found that part hard to understand,\u201d she says. <\/p>\n

\u201cNo one was at fault \u2212 it just made an already heartbreaking experience feel even harder.\u201d<\/p>\n

Keeping Marama close<\/p>\n

Baby Marama was laid to rest on Charmaine\u2019s parents\u2019 farm, where grieving wh\u0101nau can visit her whenever they like. Charmaine wears a moon pendant with Marama\u2019s birthstone, so she feels as
if she\u2019s always with her.<\/p>\n

\"\"Brighter times ahead: After seven years together, the couple plan to wed. (Credit: Kirsty Joy Photography)<\/p>\n

A name full of meaning<\/p>\n

And her name, Marama \u2212 which means the moon in te reo M\u0101ori \u2212 carries deep significance.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe thought how beautiful that we could look up in every night sky, and see her and think of her.\u201d<\/p>\n

Finding strength together<\/p>\n

Through it all, Charmaine credits Tamati for being her rock, even as he navigated his own grief. Two months on, they\u2019re taking one day at a time, but looking to the future with positivity. After seven years together, Tamati, 34, proposed earlier this year over a quiet family dinner in Paihia and wedding plans are underway.<\/p>\n

Charmaine tells, \u201cHe bought this ring five years ago and hid it amongst his tools in the garage. He was just finding the right time in our lives. We want to get married and even more so after going through this. He is my person.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n\tRelated\n<\/p>\n

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\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\"Rebekah\t\t\t\t\t<\/a><\/p>\n

\t\t\t\t\t\t\tProfile
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\n\t\t\t\t\t\tRebekah Hebenton\t\t\t\t\t<\/a><\/p>\n

Rebekah Hebenton is a writer for the New Zealand Woman\u2019s Weekly, where she shares the stories of inspiring Kiwi women and gets the inside scoop from your favourite local celebs. A pop culture enthusiast through and through, you\u2019ll usually find her front row at a theatre show, or deep into a binge-watch of the next big series long before it hits your radar.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Kiwi rugby star Charmaine Smith has endured one of the greatest heartbreaks a parent can face \u2013 the…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":371686,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[567],"tags":[64,63,201071,201072,201073,6084,201074,22369,201075,47642,760,85],"class_list":["post-371685","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-rugby","tag-au","tag-australia","tag-black-fern","tag-charmaine-smith","tag-chromosomal-disorder","tag-grief","tag-midwife","tag-miscarriage","tag-pregancny","tag-pregnant","tag-rugby","tag-sports"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/371685","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=371685"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/371685\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/371686"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=371685"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=371685"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=371685"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}