{"id":403456,"date":"2026-01-10T04:37:07","date_gmt":"2026-01-10T04:37:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/403456\/"},"modified":"2026-01-10T04:37:07","modified_gmt":"2026-01-10T04:37:07","slug":"report-needless-to-say-patrol-driver-not-taking-cycling-event-related-road-closures-well","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/403456\/","title":{"rendered":"REPORT: Needless To Say Patrol Driver Not Taking Cycling Event Related Road Closures Well"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/p>\n

Local Patrol driver Brayden has run into his absolute kryptonite today after inadvertently finding himself redirected due to the Westbridge Funds cycling championship in Perth today.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Not being the inner city type, Brayden wasn\u2019t up to speed with the event and thought he could just drive into the city for a day out at Elizabeth Quay without a care in the world.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Alas, his two most hated activities \u2013 cycling & being told what to do, converged on the man and needless to say, he didn\u2019t take it well. He told The Times,<\/p>\n

\u201cCYCLISTS DON\u2019T EVEN PAY REGO AND NOW I HAVE TO WAIT FOR THEM FARRRRRRRRK MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE\u201d<\/p>\n

Despite only suffering some minor inconvenience, Brayden is very far from OK after the ordeal. His misso told The Times,<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m going to have to hear about this for the next week. You should see how angry he gets when he has to veer slightly right to overtake a cyclist. Don\u2019t even get me started on when they ride two abreast\u201d<\/p>\n

When asked how he was going to decompress and relax after the upsetting morning, Brayden launched into a spirited tirade that cannot be published.\u00a0<\/p>\n

We can only hope Brayden goes to his happy place before his impassion rants have to be explained to a jury of his peers.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay? <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Local Patrol driver Brayden has run into his absolute kryptonite today after inadvertently finding himself redirected due to…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":403457,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[569],"tags":[64,63,784,85],"class_list":{"0":"post-403456","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-cycling","8":"tag-au","9":"tag-australia","10":"tag-cycling","11":"tag-sports"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/403456","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=403456"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/403456\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/403457"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=403456"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=403456"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=403456"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}