Cycling doesn\u2019t make it onto regular T.V. much in North America. At least not compared to Europe, where every prominent pro seems to end up on\u00a0Dancing With the Stars\u00a0so frequently we had to cut reality T.V. out of this review. In fact, cycling\u2019s on T.V. in North America so little, we had to include the U.K. to get a proper list.<\/p>\n
So, here\u2019s our list of the best time bikes or their riders made cameos on T.V. programming. Aside, as mentioned\u00a0from Peter Sagan (and Maja Wloszczowska) appearing on their national Dancing With the Stars \u2013 and Wout van Aert\u2019s Masked Singer. Ok, cyclists spend a weird amount of time on reality T.V., mostly outside of North America. So let\u2019s just put aside all reality T.V., that way we don\u2019t have to talk about\u00a0Lance on Stars on Mars.\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Girls 5Eva \u2013 Cycling arms\u00a0<\/p>\n
Cycling might seem like a surprising reoccurring character in a show about ageing pop stars trying to reclaim their youthful success, but it actually fits quite well. What\u2019s a better complement to the ageing pop start than a MAMIL chasing his dreams of athletic prowess on weekends? And\u00a0Girls 5Eva\u00a0is both accurate, funny and kind with its MAMIL character, the Dawn\u2019s husband, Scott. From saying he doesn\u2019t trust the Dali Lama because he lives in the Himalayas and doesn\u2019t ride a mountain bike to cheering for \u201cPescal Pacos\u201d at Tour de Fresno because \u201che was a forceps baby so he just slices through the wind.\u201d The best moment, though, is the \u201ccycling arms\u201d bit.<\/p>\n
That\u2019s all in the first season. In the second season, the husband confesses. \u201cI did something weird. I bought a gravel bike. It cost four grand and I can\u2019t return it because it\u2019s built to your heel-to-crotch ratio.\u201d<\/p>\n
The Seinfeld bikes<\/p>\n
Ever present, never ridden,\u00a0Seinfeld\u2019s bikes were a character of their own. Reflective of the mountain bike boom in the 90\u2019s, the bikes hung in the background collecting dust, season after season. The actual bike changed. There was a Cannondale, a Specialized and, most famously, the green Klein. At least Seinfeld had good taste in bikes, even if he never rode them.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Monty Python\u2019s Bicycle Repair Man (S1 Ep.3 )<\/p>\n
Turning the clock back, waaaay back to 1969 and the first season of\u00a0Monty Python\u2019s Flying\u00a0Circus,\u00a0(specifically, episode three: How to\u00a0Recognise\u00a0Different Types of Trees From Quite a Long Way Away)\u00a0we get the Bicycle Repair Man. In a world of super heroes, it is the humble bicycle repair man who saves the day. We think bicycle mechanics are always super heroes in real life, saving our bikes from abuse and our own misguided attempts at home repair. We also wish there was a roaming bicycle repair van that showed up every time we had a flat.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Stranger Things\u00a0<\/p>\n
Bikes are a constant theme in\u00a0Stranger Things,\u00a0until the grand finale. Right from the first episode where the kids use bikes to evade the authorities and hide Eleven. Bikes are at their best in the show: giving kids freedom to roam the adult world and, for us viewers, letting us go back to bikes as a way to escape the pressures of grown-up life, even if just temporarily.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Malcolm in the Middle \u2013 Speed walking as a proxy for Master\u2019s racing<\/p>\n
When Hal gets into speed walking its, well, clearly only sort of about speed walking. Bryan Cranston\u2019s hyper competitive weekend warrior is a pitch-perfect send-up of cycling\u2019s MAMIL culture. Excessive spandex, expensive gear, dubious aero gains are all dragged in service of turning a fun hobby into something twisted and a little too serious. The worst part is\u00a0Malcolm in the Middle\u2019s\u00a0mocking of aero gear doesn\u2019t look as silly as the latest pro helmets. Ok, that\u2019s a stretch. It does. But it\u2019s, sadly, kind of a fair fight these days.<\/p>\n
Perhaps you doubt this is a very thinly veiled send-up of cycling? You might have a point, until Hal\u2019s rival utters my least favourite saying in cycling: \u201cOn your left!\u201d<\/p>\n
The Simpsons \u2013 Bart\u2019s bike<\/p>\n
Homer buys Bart a bike, or a bicycle-shaped-object, struggles to put it together, then it collapses immediately. Then Bart gets a real bike and joins the local bike gang of youth. It\u2019s simple, it\u2019s short, it\u2019s great.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
The Simpsons \u2013 The biker bar<\/p>\n
Two or three decades later, Simpsons viewers return to two wheels to make fun of amateur cycling. Principal Skinner and a Superintendent Chalmers accidentally walk into a biker bar while on a road trip. Only it\u2019s the other kind of biker bar, serving hits of pure oxygen instead of bottles of beer. Hilarity ensues.<\/p>\n