Comedian Nikki Glaser has reminded Hollywood that no one is safe when she hosts the Golden Globes.<\/p>\n
Glaser returned to the Golden Globes as host for the second time on Sunday night (local time) and quickly got to the all-important roasting.<\/p>\n
\u201cWelcome to the 83rd Golden Globes,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n
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By continuing you agree to our Terms<\/a> and Privacy Policy<\/a>.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, The Golden Globes. Without a doubt, the most important thing happening in the world right now.<\/p>\n \u201cI cannot believe the amount of star power we have in this room tonight. there are so many a-listers. And by a-listers, I do mean people who are on a list that has been heavily redacted.<\/p>\n \u201cThe Golden Globe for the best editing goes to… the Justice Department.<\/p>\n Glaser then delivered what could be her most brutal barb to actor Leonardo DiCaprio.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat a career you\u2019ve had,\u201d Glaser said.<\/p>\n \u201cCountless iconic performances. You\u2019ve worked with every great director. You\u2019ve won three Golden Globes, an Oscar, and the most impressive thing is that you were able to accomplish all of that before your girlfriend turned 30. It\u2019s just insane.\u201d<\/p>\n The crowd erupted as DiCaprio attempted to smile and laugh before Glaser apologised.<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m sorry I made that joke. It\u2019s cheap. I tried not to, but we don\u2019t know anything else about you man,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n \u201cThere\u2019s nothing else. I mean, open up. I\u2019m serious. I looked, I searched. The most in-depth interview you\u2019ve ever given was in Teen Week magazine in 1991.<\/p>\n \u201cIs your favourite food still pasta, pasta and more pasta? Look it up. It\u2019s real.\u201d<\/p>\n Turning to George Clooney, Glaser admitted there was a question she had always wanted to ask him.<\/p>\n \u201cI know this is unprofessional,\u201d she began.<\/p>\n \u201cMy Nespresso has been coming out kind of watery. I\u2019m wondering is it a pod issue or do you think it might be the filter? Can you troubleshoot it for me?\u201d<\/p>\n Sean Penn was next in the firing line. Glaser said Penn was not just an amazing actor, but also an \u201camazing humanitarian\u201d.<\/p>\n \u201cA lot of actors talk the talk, but Sean Penn will actually go to the places in the world that need help the most, and he will do cocaine there,\u201d she said with Penn laughing along.<\/p>\n \u201cI feel we don\u2019t celebrate that enough.<\/p>\n \u201cSean, I did get permission to tell that joke from your two best friends. Charlie Sheen and El Chapo.\u201d<\/p>\n Turning to The Rock and Kevin Hart, Glaser said she loved the duo who starred in Jumanji: Next Level.<\/p>\n \u201cYou and the Rock together are my favourite comedy duo. You\u2019re like Steve Martin and Martin Short for people under 50… IQ. We need movies too!<\/p>\n \u201cJumanji Next Level… Was it?\u201d<\/p>\n Glaser admitted to the crowd that The White Lotus was one of her favourite shows.<\/p>\n Turning to the cast, she said: \u201cDid you guys actually know that White Lotus season three was the first hit show to feature interest since Property Brothers season all of them.\u201d<\/p>\n Glaser moved on to a musical nominee, turning to Ariana Grande.<\/p>\n \u201cWicked was back with Wicked: For Money,\u201d Glaser joked.<\/p>\n \u201cAriana, I would listen to you sing the phone book. Actually, grab the one Kevin Hart is sitting on tonight.\u201d<\/p>\n Glaser then targeted a star who has possibly garnered the most awards season buzz, Timoth\u00e9e Chalamet.<\/p>\n \u201cTimoth\u00e9e Chamalet is here for Marty Supreme,\u201d Glaser said, setting herself up.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat a dedicated performance you gave.<\/p>\n \u201cNot a lot of people know this, but Timoth\u00e9e Chalamet is the first actor in history to have to put on muscle for a movie about ping pong.<\/p>\n \u201cHe gained over 60 ounces.<\/p>\n Glaser rounded out her opening monologue roast with some quick fire zingers, with the audience looking fearful that they could be next<\/p>\n \u201cGuillermo del Toro, keep making weird monster sex movies,\u201d Glaser said.<\/p>\n \u201cJames Cameron, keep making weird monster sex movies.<\/p>\n \u201cEmma Stone and Yorgos Lanthimos, keep making wonderfully bizarre movies together. Go Harder! I want to see Emma Stone playing a piece of toast with epilepsy.<\/p>\n \u201cNoah Wyle, keep being the only doctor I have seen regularly for the past 35 years.<\/p>\n \u201cPaul Mescal and Jacob Elordi, keep being the same person to my mum.<\/p>\n \u201cHans Zimmer, keep composing film scores that sound like \u2018BUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHH\u2019. What a bop.<\/p>\n \u201cClare Danes, keep making noises that sounds like AHHHHHHH, ARGHHHHHHH!<\/p>\n \u201cLastly, Steve Martin and Martin Short, keep proving to us that in this industry you are never, ever too old to still need money.\u201d<\/p>\n Overall, Glaser nailed her second opening monologue at the Golden Globes.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Comedian Nikki Glaser has reminded Hollywood that no one is safe when she hosts the Golden Globes. 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