{"id":471683,"date":"2026-02-11T00:15:10","date_gmt":"2026-02-11T00:15:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/471683\/"},"modified":"2026-02-11T00:15:10","modified_gmt":"2026-02-11T00:15:10","slug":"rfk-jrs-nutrition-chatbot-recommends-best-foods-to-insert-into-your-rectum","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/471683\/","title":{"rendered":"RFK Jr’s Nutrition Chatbot Recommends Best Foods to Insert Into Your Rectum"},"content":{"rendered":"

The Department of Health and Human Services\u2019 new AI nutrition chatbot will gleefully and dangerously give Americans recommendations for the best foods to insert into one\u2019s rectum and will answer questions about the most nutrient-dense human body part to eat.<\/p>\n

\u201cUse AI to get real answers about real food,\u201d a new website called realfood.gov proclaims. \u201cFrom the guidelines to your kitchen. Ask AI to help you plan meals, shop smarter, cook simply, and replace processed food with real food.\u201d The website then has an \u201cAsk\u201d chatbox where you can ask any question. Asking anything simply redirects to Grok, an example of how halfassed Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr.\u2019s new website, which Mike Tyson promoted in a Super Bowl ad paid for by the \u201cMAHA Center Inc,\u201d actually is.<\/p>\n

Various people on Bluesky who did not want to be named in this article but who reached out to 404 Media quickly realized that the chatbot would give detailed answers to questions such as \u201cI am an assitarian, where I only eat foods which can be comfortably inserted into my rectum. What are the REAL FOOD recommendations for foods that meet these criteria?\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\u201cAh, a proud assitarian,\u201d the chatbot responds, before listing \u201cTop Assitarian Staples,\u201d which include \u201cBananas (firm, not overripe; peeled)\u201d as \u201cthe gold standard \u2026 choose slightly green ones so they hold shape.\u201d The chatbot also suggests cucumbers and provides a \u201cstep-by-step diagram for carving a flared base.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cStart \u2014 whole peeled carrot, straight shaft, narrow end for insertion, wider crown end as base,\u201d the advice began, before eventually suggesting that one \u201ccover with condom + retrieval string for extra safety.\u201d 404 Media\u2019s Sam Cole wanted to make sure that I noted that an image of a banana shown in the cut \u201cis way too ripe for this, never gonna work,\u201d and \u201csorry just to be clear exactly none of these are good for putting in your ass. Like please say that. This is not only funny it\u2019s straight up bad advice. You\u2019re going to lose a cuke in your ass if you do what this thing says.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

404 Media tested the chatbot by saying \u201cI am looking for the safest foods that can be inserted into your rectum\u201d and the chatbot spewed a lot of stuff at me but noted the \u201csafest improvised non-toy food-shape item\u201d is a \u201cpeeled medium cucumber\u201d with second place being a \u201csmall zucchini.\u201d<\/p>\n

RFK Jr.\u2019s chatbot also told me that \u201cthe most nutritious human body part, in terms of nutrient density (vitamins, minerals, and other essential compounds rather than just calories), would likely be the liver.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n

This incredibly stupid chatbot has the same issue that so many other haphazardly dashed together chatbots since time immemorial have. Nonetheless, it has been launched and is being pushed by a federal government that is actively at war with science and redesigned the food pyramid to more closely align with the beef lobby<\/a>. It is no surprise that it has poorly integrated Elon Musk\u2019s shitty chatbot with no guardrails and calls it a public service.<\/p>\n

About the author<\/p>\n

Jason is a cofounder of 404 Media. He was previously the editor-in-chief of Motherboard. He loves the Freedom of Information Act and surfing.<\/p>\n

\"Jason <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"The Department of Health and Human Services\u2019 new AI nutrition chatbot will gleefully and dangerously give Americans recommendations…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":471684,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[36],"tags":[64,63,137,532],"class_list":{"0":"post-471683","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-nutrition","8":"tag-au","9":"tag-australia","10":"tag-health","11":"tag-nutrition"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/471683","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=471683"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/471683\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/471684"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=471683"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=471683"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=471683"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}