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Shaz. Some nervous impulse makes me read the name aloud when it appears on my computer screen. Only her best friends call her that, Sharon Van Etten tells me when her smiling face appears seconds later. \u201cYou can call me Shaz,\u201d she adds in the next breath.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s a throwaway moment that says a lot. \u201cI try to connect on the deepest level every single show. I try to make eye contact with as many people as I can,\u201d she\u2019ll tell me later. \u201cI want people to feel heard and seen.\u201d<\/p>\n
To her fans, the New Jersey singer-songwriter\u2019s unheard years carry almost as much weight as her subsequent 15 on record. Her sobering origin story is a quiet act of defiance: five years in an abusive relationship \u2014 \u201chorrific; an assault situation\u201d \u2014 where songwriting had to happen in secret.<\/p>\n
Her 2010 debut, Because I Was In Love, was a fragile act of self-reclamation that launched a long, escalating howl of recovery. Her seventh, Sharon Van Etten & The Attachment Theory, is another leap of faith, surrendering that once-closeted voice to a shared band writing process.<\/p>\n
\u201cBands become siblings on the road, and we become each other\u2019s support systems through the ups and downs of life and travel and work,\u201d she says. \u201cWe really depend on each other. We all have our own shit, but we are more like family every year we do this.\u201d<\/p>\n
Today she\u2019s in her home studio in Los Angeles, relishing summer break with her husband\/ manager and their 10-year-old son before another few months on the bus. \u201cTouring can get pretty intense. We were pretty much gone February [to] May. So I\u2019m glad to be present, in the moment.\u201d<\/p>\n
As a band name, the Attachment Theory is \u201ca bit of a joke\u201d, she says. It refers to a psychological concept of how early bonds shape our patterns of connection and trust. When she\u2019s not playing mum or music, Van Etten studies psychology \u2014 a lifeline through several troubled chapters.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen I was at high school, my mum couldn\u2019t really reach me,\u201d she says. \u201cShe convinced me to take a psychology class … I was a teenager and hated everything \u2014 but I thrived in it. That class helped me realise I\u2019m a good listener, and that people feel comfortable around me. It gave me confidence.\u201d<\/p>\n
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Van Etten performing with her band The Attachment Theory on Jimmy Kimmel Live earlier this year.Credit: Disney via Getty Images<\/p>\n
Van Etten has never identified the musician who did so much to erode that confidence in her late teens and early 20s, as she dropped in and out of college in Tennessee. She eventually fled in the night to her sister\u2019s house. Her parents took her back in, \u201cas long as I got a job, went back to school and went to see a therapist\u201d.<\/p>\n
The latter was a profound turning point. \u201cShe taught me ways to not need medication to handle my panic attacks and talk myself through triggers and to take notice of when I\u2019m finding joy. And she was the one who encouraged me into music.\u201d<\/p>\n
Terrifying as they were, the open mic nights of Brooklyn and the Lower East Side were only a bus and train ride away. A few acoustic guitar songs at a time, some burned onto CDs for friends, became the process for addressing her anxiety, \u201ca way of learning how to put myself out there again\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe other thing that changed my life was when I started to play shows and connecting with fans. They would reach out and talk to me about my music, and I would often get very personal stories in connection with the songs.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ve always had this guilt about that because I feel like they\u2019re looking for advice, and I just don\u2019t know how to give that.\u201d<\/p>\n
After this album tour winds up in Auckland in November, she aims to get back to school to become a certified therapist. Since the recent decline of several family members, she\u2019s considering grief counselling. \u201cI\u2019m really interested in people and how we connect; why we need connections so badly.\u201d<\/p>\n
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Van Etten with her band The Attachment Theory.Credit: Devin Oktar Yalkin<\/p>\n
Outside of her band, Van Etten\u2019s catalogue is a remarkable demonstration of the art of connection. Like I Used To, a 2021 duet with Angel Olsen, is among her best-known tracks. Featured vocals on albums by The National, Danger Mouse, Superchunk, Margo Price and more weave through a raft of tribute albums and screen soundtracks.<\/p>\n
She acts, too, most notably in the Netflix sci-fi drama The OA. In a slightly chilling echo of real life she played Rachel, survivor of a near-death experience who discovers a glorious singing voice.<\/p>\n
What\u2019s more remarkable in a world where popular success is so often confused with redemption is this artist\u2019s apparent resistance to glory, whether in deference to her band, her fans or those longer-term plans of service in counselling.<\/p>\n
The NME made an astute observation of this year\u2019s sideways step from solo spotlight to lead singer of the Attachment Theory: \u201cShe\u2019s turned her back on ego and individualism at exactly the point that others would lean into their stardom.\u201d<\/p>\n
The word makes her laugh. \u201cStardom has never really been part of the narrative, for me,\u201d she says. She admits that her husband \u201cwill make jokes about how every time things seem to be growing, I like to pivot. But it\u2019s not on purpose.<\/p>\n
\u201cMy first record was in 2010, so I was nearly 30, just getting into the industry \u2014 because I wanted to, not because I had a plan. Now people start with a business model. They have one recording before they\u2019ve even gone on tour.<\/p>\n
\u201cIn some ways I think I started at the perfect time because I got to hone what it means to write music and find my bearings. I started solo. I didn\u2019t even have a band until 2012. And now in my 40s I\u2019m finally having my first real band. I understand now more than ever what connection and chemistry mean.<\/p>\n
TAKE 7: THE ANSWERS ACCORDING TO SHARON VAN ETTENWorst habit?\u00a0 Being on my phone.\u00a0Greatest fear?\u00a0 Losing the people I care about the most.The line that has stayed with you?\u00a0 My mum always told me the golden rule is to do unto others as you\u2019d have them do unto you.Biggest regret? Not finishing college when I was young.\u00a0Favourite book?\u00a0 At the moment it\u2019s The Beauty of What Remains [How Our Greatest Fear Becomes Our Greatest Gift] by Rabbi Steve Leader.\u00a0The artwork or song you wish was yours?\u00a0 Mazzy Star\u2019s Fade Into You.If you could time travel. Where would you go? New York City in the \u201970s: the height of the CBGBs era.\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s made music mean more to me. It means everything that people connect with my music and I try to be able to be an ear in return because I think that is what we need now more than anything. I feel a deeper sense of community than I\u2019ve had in a long time as we\u2019re playing this record. Especially right now.\u201d<\/p>\n
Right now? She sighs.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen we were writing this record, dare I say it wasn\u2019t as bad? We started writing it at the end of \u201922 and it was the first time we were able to be in a room together, and we were all just catching up on where we were in our lives. So it was a combination of family members ageing, ourselves ageing in this industry \u2026<\/p>\n
\u201cBut then also, I\u2019m an older mother, and there\u2019s all of this darkness surrounding us in our world, and I\u2019m supposed to be protecting him \u2026 I have friends that feel like in the country that we live in, they don\u2019t even have the right to exist. I have friends whose partners have green cards and they don\u2019t know if they\u2019ll be able to stay.\u201d<\/p>\n
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It\u2019s a lot to pin on a band, a concert, a handful of songs. But music isn\u2019t nothing. \u201cPeople have connected with my music and when they reach out, I try to respond,\u201d Van Etten says.<\/p>\n
\u201cI get to tell them they\u2019re not alone. It\u2019s a wild, surreal position to be in. I\u2019m grateful for that.\u201d<\/p>\n
Sharon Van Etten & the Attachment Theory play Town Folk Festival Castlemaine November 15, Enmore Theatre Sydney Nov 20, The Forum Melbourne Nov 22 and 23.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Normal text sizeLarger text sizeVery large text size Shaz. Some nervous impulse makes me read the name aloud…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":47625,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[28],"tags":[64,63,134,136],"class_list":["post-47624","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-music","tag-au","tag-australia","tag-entertainment","tag-music"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47624","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=47624"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47624\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/47625"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=47624"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=47624"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=47624"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}