{"id":47990,"date":"2025-08-06T14:15:10","date_gmt":"2025-08-06T14:15:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/47990\/"},"modified":"2025-08-06T14:15:10","modified_gmt":"2025-08-06T14:15:10","slug":"can-your-birth-order-predict-whether-youll-be-a-narcissist","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/47990\/","title":{"rendered":"Can Your Birth Order Predict Whether You’ll Be A Narcissist?"},"content":{"rendered":"

There are few mental health terms thrown around more than the word \u201cnarcissist.\u201d People use it to describe a difficult boss, hurl the insult at a parent after a fight, or use it as an explanation for odd celebrity behavior. It\u2019s a buzzy term, but most people aren\u2019t narcissists, and there is a huge difference between having narcissistic tendencies and having a diagnosis of narcissistic<\/a> personality disorder.<\/p>\n

You can have narcissistic moments \u2014 like bragging about a work achievement or seeking attention from loved ones \u2014 without having narcissistic personality disorder, said Zoe Kinsey<\/a>, a licensed mental health counselor at Self Space in Washington state. <\/p>\n

While both things can be harmful, narcissistic personality disorder is much more serious and dangerous.<\/p>\n

\u201cNPD, to begin, is a really nuanced personality disorder and diagnosis. Not everybody is going to present the same,\u201d said Kinsey.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo, a more traditional definition \u2026 NPD is a personality disorder often characterized by extreme beliefs of grandiosity and self-importance, a severe lack of empathy, unrealistic expectations toward themselves and others, fear of rejection, and a significant need for praise and adoration that often comes at the exploitation of others,\u201d Kinsey said.<\/p>\n

Vanessa Reiser<\/a>, a licensed clinical social worker and author of \u201cNarcissistic Abuse<\/a>,\u201d noted: \u201cThey tend to gaslight. They are liars. Use the silent treatment, or are passive-aggressive to gain control through manipulation.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not just one characteristic, right? It\u2019s certainly not just somebody who likes to take pictures of themselves. That\u2019s totally a misnomer,\u201d Reiser added.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s a complicated diagnosis and concept as it presents in various ways in different folks and there are a number of things that contribute to the development of this disorder. One of those things may be nurture, which begs the question: Can your birth order, like being the eldest or youngest, turn you into a narcissist? Here\u2019s what therapists say about that:<\/p>\n

\"Your<\/p>\n

Thomas Barwick via Getty Images<\/p>\n

Your birth order does not dictate your risk of developing narcissistic personality disorder. <\/p>\n

Birth order does not impact someone\u2019s risk of developing narcissistic personality disorder.<\/p>\n

Being an eldest daughter or youngest son or middle child has nothing to do with the development of narcissistic personality disorder, both experts told HuffPost.<\/p>\n

For instance, in a three-child family that follows Western stereotypes, all three kids could be at risk of developing the disorder for different reasons, Kinsey noted. The eldest child is often idealized and seen as the \u201cgolden child,\u201d which could put them at risk, she said, while the middle child is often overlooked and lacks attention from their parents, which could put them at risk. <\/p>\n

\u201cAnd I\u2019m thinking, finally, the youngest child, stereotypically, may be more babied or spoiled by parents, leading to a lack of empathy for others, and therefore increasing their chances of developing NPD,\u201d said Kinsey.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s important to differentiate between narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic tendencies, too. As mentioned above, everyone can have narcissistic tendencies but that doesn\u2019t equal the disorder.<\/p>\n

Reiser said babying or coddling behavior from parents may cause someone to \u201clean toward narcissistic behaviors, not a disordered personality, which is entirely different.\u201d<\/p>\n

The coddling parents likely do with a firstborn child may contribute to these narcissistic characteristics, Reiser said, \u201cbut in terms of a personality disorder, I\u2019m in the camp of it being much more of a biological or genetic predisposition. That kind of thing does generally happen randomly.\u201d<\/p>\n

It\u2019s hard to say exactly what causes someone to develop narcissistic personality disorder.<\/p>\n

Why someone develops narcissistic personality disorder, or any personality disorder, is complicated. But no matter what, birth order isn\u2019t going to dictate whether someone has NPD.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe discussion of nature and nurture is going to be super crucial when it comes to this in particular,\u201d Kinsey said.<\/p>\n

Reiser is part of the group that believes it\u2019s genetic and that people can first show signs of it in childhood. Kinsey believes it\u2019s both genes and trauma that put someone at risk of developing NPD.<\/p>\n

\u201cPeople with personality disorders [have] experienced trauma within the categories of attachment, abuse, neglect, betrayal and severe invalidation and inconsistency from parents\u201d or anyone that child was attached to, whether that\u2019s other family members or friends, said Kinsey.<\/p>\n

\u201cIf a person has a specific mix of genes and has also experienced trauma, they are absolutely at a higher risk of developing NPD than the general population,\u201d Kinsey added. <\/p>\n

And what\u2019s traumatic for one person may not be traumatic for another, she noted. The body, not an individual, decides what is traumatic, Kinsey said.<\/p>\n

But that\u2019s not to say everyone who experiences trauma will develop NPD.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt doesn\u2019t just show up at the age of 18 because you were traumatized, because most of my clients are traumatized, but they\u2019re not behaving like this,\u201d said Reiser.<\/p>\n

While many things increase the risk of NPD, there are a few things that can be done to help prevent or manage it.<\/p>\n

To help combat the chances of someone, such as your child, developing narcissistic personality disorder, Reiser said it\u2019s a good idea to cultivate empathy starting at a young age, whether that\u2019s by exposing them to animals or people who are different from them.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnother insulator would be to get children to understand the difference between fact and fiction,\u201d Reiser said. <\/p>\n

In a world where there are currently a lot of \u201calternative facts,\u201d it can be hard for kids to understand what\u2019s true and what\u2019s not. And, in narcissism, there is lots of gaslighting and lying, she added.<\/p>\n

\u201cThose two things, I think, will help [parents] raise children that are empathetic, but also are thinking in terms of the truth,\u201d Reiser noted.<\/p>\n

If you do notice concerning personality traits in any of your kids, early intervention is key, Reiser said. You shouldn\u2019t ignore troubling patterns, Reiser added.<\/p>\n

\u201cPaying attention to children\u2019s behaviors early on is generally when we see the best outcomes. It\u2019s hard to retrain a tree when it\u2019s already grown,\u201d Reiser added.<\/p>\n

When it comes to personality development and healthy attachment in children, it\u2019s important to check in with your child, notice their patterns and behaviors and prioritize your bond, said Kinsey.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd, if you ever have any concerns, that\u2019s what mental health therapists are here for. We\u2019re here to answer any questions you might have and if you notice something that seems a bit off, that does not necessarily mean that your child has a diagnosis,\u201d Kinsey said.<\/p>\n

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With so many uncontrollable factors out there, it\u2019s not possible to totally prevent trauma from happening, but \u201cone of the biggest indicators that somebody\u2019s body is going to develop PTSD or have really negative symptoms from trauma is \u2026 it\u2019s based upon how they\u2019re attached to the people around them. Do they have support or not?\u201d Kinsey said.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat support component and that attachment component are absolutely key,\u201d Kinsey noted.<\/p>\n

Kinsey added that it is possible for people to heal and learn to effectively manage this disorder, but it takes support from a mental health professional. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"There are few mental health terms thrown around more than the word \u201cnarcissist.\u201d People use it to describe…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":47991,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[35],"tags":[64,63,137,514,515,40947,32892,40948],"class_list":{"0":"post-47990","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-mental-health","8":"tag-au","9":"tag-australia","10":"tag-health","11":"tag-mental-health","12":"tag-mentalhealth","13":"tag-narcissism","14":"tag-siblings","15":"tag-therapist"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47990","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=47990"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47990\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/47991"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=47990"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=47990"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=47990"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}