The bar looked \u201clike a place where special-ops forces waterboard terrorists,\u201d he added. \u201cThere was no bar … it was a cooler, like the kind you take to a beach.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDude, you\u2019re not making this up,\u201d Fallon said. \u201cI totally know what you\u2019re talking about. … I think I remember bringing beer into the bar and then him charging me for my own beer.\u201d <\/p>\n
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The men\u2019s magazine editor-turned-satirist<\/a> recalled that their mutual friend operated that way. \u201cHe is very cheap, but if you want someone dead, he\u2019ll do it.\u201d <\/p>\n So he walks into the illegal bar with his buddy Andy<\/a> Levy after the two had just finished taping something \u2014 perhaps \u201cRed Eye w\/Greg Gutfeld<\/a>\u201d \u2014 and Fallon sees him and then tackles him, he said, \u201clike a giant golden retriever.\u201d Then the NBC host grabs Andy and the two fall to the ground wrestling. So Gutfeld decides it\u2019s a good time to spark up a cigarette. <\/p>\n But Fallon leaps up, rips it out of his mouth and shouts the aforementioned you\u2019re-gonna-die warning. \u201cI go … \u2018Dude, I\u2019m not rich. You\u2019re rich,\u2019\u201d Gutfeld said. \u201cCigarettes are expensive<\/a> in New York City.\u201d <\/p>\n He said Fallon\u2019s face suddenly changed to one of sadness. \u201cAnd then you left.\u201d<\/p>\n Five minutes later, the \u201cSaturday Night Live\u201d alumnus came back toting a fresh pack of Parliaments, which he handed to the co-host of \u201cThe Five.\u201d <\/p>\n \u201cAnd I go, \u2018That was really sweet. You want me to die.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n Gutfeld, who was on \u201cThe Tonight Show\u201d to promote a new game show he\u2019s hosting<\/a>, then remembered the group piling into Fallon\u2019s car and tooling around to another bar that was, well, in the same building. \u201cWe literally drove from one door to another door … I think you wanted to impress that you had a driver.\u201d <\/p>\n These are the things, apparently, that happen to the rich. <\/p>\n \u201cYeah!\u201d Fallon said. \u201cWe had a nice ride, right?\u201d<\/p>\n A nice ride indeed. Short, but nice. Meanwhile, over on \u201cGutfeld,\u201d fill-in host Kat Timpf was talking about her erstwhile boss taking two full days off work to get a colonoscopy. Oh, how times have changed. <\/p>\n And the tables have indeed turned quite a bit in the last 15 years: \u201cGutfeld!,\u201d which airs on Fox News at 7 p.m. local time and 10 p.m. Eastern and riffs on politics and the news of the day, is leading the nighttime chat show pack with \u2014 according to LateNighter<\/a> \u2014 3.289 million viewers in the second quarter and 238,000 in the advertiser-coveted demographic of those ages 18 to 49.<\/p>\n