![\"Josh](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/1775340668_692_6480.jpg\")
Josh Thomas on his nemesis, men’s shorts and fighting Harry Styles: 10 Chaotic Questions \u2013 video<\/p>\nIf you could change the size of any animal to keep as a pet, what would it be?<\/p>\n
Sometimes I take these too seriously, it\u2019s the truth. Like, sometimes I get asked a question like that, and I answer it as if it\u2019s real but you just want me to say something quickly.<\/p>\n
No! I want your most serious answers.<\/p>\n
I want my pet to be soft. But all of the soft animals are already small. There\u2019s no big soft animals out there. Like, my idea would be a woolly mammoth but they\u2019re extinct. I have a puppy at the moment and she had an era where she could sit in a little swing and she\u2019d just sit out there. And if I had a little swing with a soft, lovely little woolly mammoth with a little trunk [*trunk noises*] \u2013 that\u2019d be just ideal, wouldn\u2019t it? Do you feel perturbed that I chose an extinct animal?<\/p>\n
Josh Thomas on his nemesis, men’s shorts and fighting Harry Styles: 10 Chaotic Questions \u2013 video<\/p>\n
I\u2019m very pro-unleashing a bioweapon on to the world. Who would you swap bodies with, just for a day?<\/p>\n
It\u2019s interesting, isn\u2019t it? Because you think you want a really hot boy\u2019s body, because then you get to be really hot. But you\u2019re only hot for a day. So obviously it\u2019s much more fun to be a woman, because then I get to have a vagina. The things I would do with that vagina.<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t really know who I would say is a hot woman\u2019s body. I just did the Abbie Chatfield podcast. She\u2019s pretty hot. I\u2019ll take her body and I\u2019ll experience what it\u2019s like to have a vagina \u2013 but not in a way that\u2019s creepy. In a way that\u2019s respectful. To Abbie Chatfield. Would you like to have a vagina for a day? No, it\u2019s not your show.<\/p>\n
What is the ideal length of men\u2019s shorts?<\/p>\n
On them, seven inches. On me, jeans.<\/p>\n
What is the most chaotic thing that\u2019s ever happened to you on stage?<\/p>\n
I did the Scout Jamboree when I was like 22, which is when I was the most famous. I was on a show called Talkin\u2019 \u2019Bout Your Generation; this is when people watched television. And I realised that the people at the Scout Jamboree are 12 to 14 years old, and then I had absolutely nothing to say. So I had to improvise 40 minutes in front of 10,000 children. It was an era where they were all wearing animal onesies. And I said, \u201cAnyone in an animal onesie, stacks on me!\u201d<\/p>\n
I think probably 80 kids got on stage and jumped on me, and security was pulling them off. And it was great!<\/p>\n
This year you brought back your podcast, now titled Josh Thomas and Friends and You. What is the best thing a friend has ever done for you?<\/p>\n
The best thing a friend\u2019s ever done for me \u2026<\/p>\n
[Silence]<\/p>\n
Have my friends never done anything nice for me? Do I need new friends? Uh \u2026 eh \u2026 can\u2019t think of one nice thing a friend\u2019s ever done for me. I can\u2019t think of one nice thing! They\u2019re gonna be so mad.<\/p>\n
What is the best thing you\u2019ve done for a friend?<\/p>\n
We went to New York. We were nominated for an International Emmy and I told everyone I\u2019d take them out for breakfast. But I hired a white stretch limo and our own helicopter to take us around Manhattan. That was pretty fucking baller. I also went around New York and got all the best things from different bakeries and stuff. You don\u2019t want to just have been spending money. You want the person to have scurried about town and completed thoughtful tasks.<\/p>\n
What is the weirdest thing you have done for love?<\/p>\n
Me and my boyfriend broke up for, like, five years, and then I wanted to get back together but we hadn\u2019t spoken about it. Then my friend told him that I wanted to get back together and he texted me something about it. Instead of replying to him, I posted him this piece of wood that was very romantic from our relationship, and it just turned up at his house, and then we were back together. It\u2019s weird, in such a high-stakes moment, to use mail.<\/p>\n
It was a piece of wood that we had engraved. It said \u201cHappiness forever, Thomas and Schmidt\u201d, because both our names are Josh. It was from a fake proposal we did the first time we were together.<\/p>\n
If you had to fight a famous person, who would it be? And who would win?<\/p>\n
I just saw my publicist yawn.<\/p>\n
She wants a controversial answer!<\/p>\n
I wouldn\u2019t physically fight anybody. Even if it was as a result of me making a commitment during the Guardian\u2019s 10 Chaotic Questions, I would still decline to physically fight anybody. If I could physically fight someone, I\u2019d go big: I\u2019d go Harry Styles. Just because it\u2019s so fucking funny to tell people that I\u2019ve fought Harry Styles.<\/p>\n
Or maybe \u2026 is Margaret Thatcher still alive?<\/p>\n
What is your most controversial pop culture opinion?<\/p>\n
I just don\u2019t care about any pop culture, which actually does feel sincerely controversial. I really do not understand when I\u2019m in front of my friends and they\u2019re talking about celebrity couples. I don\u2019t care about them and I don\u2019t understand why we\u2019re talking about them.<\/p>\n
People get all caught up in Zendaya and whoever Zendaya is with, as if that has anything to do with our life. I don\u2019t care about who wins the Oscar. I guess I was interested in Timoth\u00e9e Chalamet getting in so much trouble for being mean about the ballet and the opera! But that\u2019s just because it was fun to watch someone humiliate themselves.<\/p>\n
Everyone always mentions these things and that\u2019s just not what I\u2019m watching. On my phone I\u2019m watching Engineering Marvels. Did you know we used to have a hovercraft that went from the UK to France, and it carried cars? It was so big.<\/p>\n
Do you have a nemesis?<\/p>\n
Tom Gleeson. We did Taskmaster and then he did 30 interviews about how much he hates me. And then I thought, I\u2019m not gonna say anything about it. And then I got drunk today and did the Abbie Chatfield podcast, and I think I called him creepy. I think I called him a cunt maybe nine times.<\/p>\n