{"id":609480,"date":"2026-04-15T23:30:17","date_gmt":"2026-04-15T23:30:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/609480\/"},"modified":"2026-04-15T23:30:17","modified_gmt":"2026-04-15T23:30:17","slug":"my-boyfriends-bad-investment-hit-him-where-it-hurts-now-hes-making-an-outrageous-request-of-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/609480\/","title":{"rendered":"My boyfriend’s bad investment hit him where it hurts. Now he’s making an outrageous request of me."},"content":{"rendered":"

Pay Dirt is Slate\u2019s money advice column. Have a question? Send it to Kristin and Ilyce here<\/a>. (It\u2019s anonymous!)<\/p>\n

Dear Pay Dirt,<\/p>\n

My boyfriend of many years and I live separately, and we always will. We like our independence and have always respected each others\u2019 autonomy. But recently my boyfriend has decided that I am making a huge mistake by \u201cundercharging\u201d for rent on my rental.<\/p>\n

My house (that I own, with a reasonable mortgage) has a small accessory dwelling unit that I rent out for extra income. I live in a very expensive area, but I keep the rent for the unit at what I need it to be to pay my bills versus \u201cmarket rate,\u201d because I think market rate in our area is extortionate. (My current tenants are paying about half of what the unit could go for on the current rental market.) I always try to rent to working class people or artists who deserve to be in our area but have been pushed out due to the market. I want my community to have artists and working people, and so this is one way that I ensure that happens. My current tenants are good tenants who pay on time, and I feel good about giving them an affordable place to live.<\/p>\n

Now my boyfriend says that I should either charge market rent or let him move into the unit at the reduced rate. He has never expressed this interest before. He made a bad investment last year, and I think he has just accepted that the money is gone and is feeling stressed about his situation. I do feel for him, but I have tenants on a lease, and frankly, my boyfriend makes $300,000 a year in his job. He does not need the reduced rent I offer my tenants! I\u2019m also not interested in being his landlord. He says I\u2019m not being fair or thinking long-term, but I think I am. I need him to leave this alone. How can I get him to?<\/p>\n

\u2014Not Going to Be My Boyfriend\u2019s Landlord<\/p>\n

Dear Not Going to Be My Boyfriend\u2019s Landlord,<\/p>\n

Kudos to you for doing what you can to offset the mess that is the housing crisis. I get your boyfriend\u2019s concerns, but you\u2019re clearly aware that you could be making more money. Giving your tenants a break simply matters to you more. The only person who gets to decide what your financial priorities is you.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

My Brother Found Himself a Gold Digger. She Has the Wrong Idea About Me.
\n <\/a><\/p>\n

If you want your boyfriend to leave this alone, you need to be clear that the topic is off the table. Let him know that you understand the trade-off and you\u2019re comfortable with it. It\u2019s not about squeezing every dollar out of your property, it\u2019s about your values. You can give him the space to say any final words about his concerns, but then let him know the conversation will no longer be up for debate. You don\u2019t tell him how to donate his money or structure his finances, and he doesn\u2019t get to tell you how to support your community.<\/p>\n

If you do ever make the decision to join your finances, you can revisit the conversation and talk about how to separate or combine your financial goals, priorities, investments, and spending. But for now, talking about this sounds like it\u2019s only creating stress in your relationship. And the idea that you might be his landlord? That just sounds like even more undue stress.<\/p>\n

If he continues to bring it up, then it\u2019s no longer about a financial disagreement, it\u2019s about him not respecting your boundaries. That\u2019s a whole other conversation. But for now, give him the chance to be a supportive partner. That means respecting your values and not continuing to make his financial mistakes your issue.<\/p>\n

\u2014Kristin<\/p>\n

\n Please keep questions short (<150 words), and don\u2018t submit the same question to multiple columns. We are unable to edit or remove questions after publication. Use pseudonyms to maintain anonymity. Your submission may be used in other Slate advice columns and may be edited for publication.\n <\/p>\n

More Money Advice From Slate<\/p>\n

I purchased term life insurance (expiring in 20 years) back when my now ex-husband and I thought we were ready to build a family. We\u2019ve since divorced and I\u2019ve decided it\u2019s highly, highly unlikely I\u2019ll have children after all. With no planned dependents to give my policy to, should I just get rid of it?<\/a><\/p>\n

Get the latest from Prudie and our columnists in your inbox each weekday, plus special bonus letters on Saturdays.\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Pay Dirt is Slate\u2019s money advice column. Have a question? Send it to Kristin and Ilyce here. (It\u2019s…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":609481,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[8786,64,63,99,186,184,185,1003],"class_list":{"0":"post-609480","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-personal-finance","8":"tag-advice","9":"tag-au","10":"tag-australia","11":"tag-business","12":"tag-finance","13":"tag-personal-finance","14":"tag-personalfinance","15":"tag-real-estate"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/609480","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=609480"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/609480\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/609481"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=609480"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=609480"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=609480"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}