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Is the Kiwis flag suspiciously from the side as well?<\/p>\nAlright, settle down, control yourselves, I\u2019m back. And just in time too, with so much rugby news around, it\u2019d be dangerous to leave it to someone else to report. So down the rugby rabbit hole we go.<\/p>\n
First up we take a minute to ponder our past and our futures with ANZAC Thanks. Then jump across the ditch for \u2018Rugby Palooza\u2018. Cast an eye over the team formerly known as the Wallaroos in \u2018Stinks\u2018. Travel up to the land of the rising Yen for \u2018Spanners Set\u2019. Before we luxuriate in the irony of \u2018Murderball\u2019. And then make sure your car insurance is up to date with \u2018Steal City\u2019. Before farewelling this weeks colossus rugby news week with \u2018Friday\u2019s Goss with Hoss\u2019, asking for a friend if bourbon will remain a \u2018lifestyle assistance supplement\u2019 on the NDIS?<\/p>\n
Is the Kiwis flag suspiciously from the side as well?<\/p>\n
ANZAC thanks.<\/p>\n
It would be remiss not to give thanks to those who served, and those who continue to serve as part of the armed forces of our great nation and New Zealand. In times like these, in a world gone completely bat-shit crazy, more than ever we rely on the bravery, decency, discipline and integrity of those at the cutting edge of protecting all that with we take for granted. Not since 1945 has all that we cherish been tested like it is now, and that from friend and foe alike.<\/p>\n
Lest we forget.<\/p>\n
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<\/p>\n
Rugby palooza.<\/p>\n
How fitting that Super Round returns to christen the new digs of the Crusaders, the all new One New Zealand stadium. At a cost of over $682 million NZD (approx. $58 AUD) the stadium will play host to ten of the SRP sides, with the Force told to bugger off and try again next year. With all that the people of the southern isle have endured over the years: earthquakes, abhorrent tragedy and Rob Penny as their coach, they sure are due a morale boosting weekend of rugby, at a spanking all new facility, hosting the competitions best sides, as well as those from New Zealand, in a wall-to-wall rugby palooza. <\/p>\n
You can catch all the team news in Nutta\u2019s Thursday<\/a> bit, but for form guides and results you can absolutely stake your reputation on, keep readin\u2019.<\/p>\n Friday 24 April 5:35 pm AEST \u2013 Crusaders v NSW Waratahs at One NZ Stadium, Christchurch, on Stan Sport.<\/p>\n The hosts kick off the festivities when the run out against the Waratahs. <\/p>\n Last week the Saders uncharacteristically gave up a 19 point lead to the Force, as the Force not only ran them down, but also held off the Saders to steal the chocolates.<\/p>\n News this week from the Tahs overlord Chuckles Mackellar, that Mad Max Jorgo will get a start in his preferred spot of fullback. My only question here is, WTF did it take so long to get him there! It\u2019s an absolute no brainer that the kid is a 15, always was, always will be. Jorgo would have more opportunity to chime into the backline, have more time and space and to use his devastating attacking threat.<\/p>\n And with Tom Wright returning last week for the Ponies and Jorgo getting a gig at #15 for the Tahs, the auditioning for the RWC #15 jersey just got interesting. Real interesting. Now if only someone would tell chuckles that JAS is a winger, maybe the season can really take off.<\/p>\n My only concern? Nic Berry with the whistle. Bez likes to show how totally unbiased he is towards Australian sides by laser focusing on Australian side offending (perceived or real) and not the oppositions. Therefore in pursuing his anti-bias zeal, only reinforces how biased he is against the Australian side. But at least he\u2019s not biased. I think.<\/p>\n Fearless Prediction: Tahs by 16.<\/p>\n Saturday 25 April 3:05 pm AEST \u2013 Hurricanes v ACT Brumbies at One NZ Stadium, Christchurch, on Stan Sport.<\/p>\n My lord the Brumbies were all sorts of rugby ugly last week. More dropped pill than a Cessnock chemist in winter. Bombed tries. Missed tackles. Poor options. They fumbled, they bumbled and they were humbled, and by no less than rugby\u2019s equivalent of the Washington Generals: the Drua, who doubled their away win record to 2 of 34 matches played. So \u2018yay\u2019 I guess?<\/p>\n For all of that, should the Brumbies play like a bucket of vomit again the Canes won\u2019t be as generous as the Drua, and instead, belt the Brumbies by 60.<\/p>\n The Canes themselves are coming off a golden point loss thriller to the Chuffs. But what should concern all Australian teams from now on in, was the sheer intensity of the physical battle of the breakdown on show last week between the Canes and Chiefs. Because the Kiwi sides have taken it up a notch. A noticeable notch and were tearing lumps off each other. It was test match like in it\u2019s intensity. If the Kiwis sides play like that, NZ is going to be an even more unpleasant experience than normal for tourists, businesses, people, livestock our teams. <\/p>\n Fearless Prediction: It\u2019s Groundhog day for Ponies fans. Drop the \u2018sitter\u2019 at home, rally against the best for a late season charge and miss a home semi because of the aforementioned \u2018sitter\u2019 loss. Ponies by 1.<\/p>\n Saturday 25 April 5:35 pm AEST \u2013 Blues v Queensland Reds at One NZ Stadium, Christchurch, on Stan Sport.<\/p>\n Hmmm. See above re breakdown violence and then take a look at the Reds starting forward pack and therein lies the outcome of this game. Throw in the Reds constant #10-a-go-round, and this could get ugly for the Reds. All sorts of ugly. It will take the likes of: Uru, FKA, Beaver, Dirty Harry, and Brail to play, as a collective, at a level 8.5, for a full 80 minutes, to nullify the Blues pack. And can you see that happening? <\/p>\n Me nether. <\/p>\n Fearless Prediction: Blues by 33.<\/p>\n Sunday 26 April 12:00 pm AEST \u2013 Highlanders v Moana Pasifika at One NZ Stadium, Christchurch, on Stan Sport<\/p>\n There can be only one.<\/p>\n Fearless Prediction: And that one will be the Highlanders, by 48.<\/p>\n Sunday 26 April 2:30 pm AEST \u2013 Chiefs v Fijian Drua at One NZ Stadium, Christchurch, on Stan Sport<\/p>\n You\u2019ve got to be cruel to be kind, in the right measure.<\/p>\n Fearless Prediction: Lightning don\u2019t strike the same spot twice peeps. Chiefs by 55 and 2 from 35 for the Generals.<\/p>\n Stinks.<\/p>\n Let\u2019s be blunt: the Wallaroos general performances blow chunks at present. They look unfit, disengaged and the quality of their play has regressed 10 years in the last 6 months. They are awful to watch, bewildering in their play and on current trajectory, are more like a mid-level, second tier rugby plonkers, then world cup aspirants. And at a home (money spinning) world cup at that.<\/p>\n Big losses in the recent PAC4 are just the latest in a string of bland performances from the Wallaroos. And before you tell me about the weather and the rain and blahdy-blah-blah, the reality is they could have had Jehovah herself, as ground keeper and deity in charge of favourable weather conditions, and still blow chunks when it matters.<\/p>\n There is no collective hunger or structure to their forward play, and a complete lack of physicality from our lot. There is no metre-eater, or enforcer in the pack at all. No one in the low numbers who has the other mob looking over their shoulders, or has the opponents thinking twice about carrying into contact. There is no deception, intrigue or discernible structured attacking plays to the backs. And when it comes to defense, you can forget that. I\u2019ve seen more shirt grabbing from our lot, then Yowie at a boy-band fan day. Collectively our Wallaroos have regressed significantly. And if that aint bad enough, next up they play the Black Ferns. And how apt it will fall on ANZAC day, as this will be a massacre that would make the Turks blush.<\/p>\n RA will announce a Director of Excellence or Head of Excellence Director, or something to do with an \u2018excellence\u2019 role in the next 3-4 weeks. They do this with a view to aligning both the women\u2019s 7\u2019s and XV\u2019s programs. It\u2019s seems incongruous to me that on one hand we have the best women\u2019s national football sporting team in Australia in our 7\u2019s side, but when it comes to XV\u2019s, well, no sot much.<\/p>\n Under the stewardship of Russell Crowe and the Badger, RA have shown they are considered and shrewd decision makers in regards to financial investments. And with a home RWC in 2029, it is imperative that the Wallaroos at least make the semi finals, at the moment that is little more than a pipe dream, and a pipe filled with high quality meth amphetamine at that. Our best female rugby athletes currently play 7\u2019s and whilst I understand not all could transition to XV\u2019s, many could, and so could many of the disciplines around the 7s program: training, fitness and skill applications for example, could be \u2018cut and paste\u2019 as well. <\/p>\n The upcoming appointment could absolutely bring immediate improvements to our XV\u2019s side, but it must be done quickly, dispassionately and with a single bloody-mindedness, designed to get our Wallaroos into the SF of our own RWC as a minimum. Do that and the investment will enjoy the \u2018multiplier effect\u2019 in terms of financial returns. Delay the appointment, or put up with the status quo, and the results will be awful and the spectacle dull. If I wanted to watch women\u2019s sport like that, I\u2019d tune into the Matildas.<\/p>\n Spanners Set.<\/p>\n News outta Nipponville this week that Australia\u2019s most successful #10 of the last 15 years, one Bernhard \u2018Spanners\u2019 Foley, is set to call time on his professional rugby career at the end of the Japanese domestic season, and what a career its been:<\/p>\n 72 Tests for our Wallabies<\/p>\n A shit-ton of matches for the most successful Australian super rugby team of the past 11 (and soon to be 12) seasons; the NSW Waratahs<\/p>\n Single handedly bringing Australian and French political relationships to the brink of nuclear Armageddon with \u2018that\u2019 Melbourne Bledisloe decision.<\/p>\n Amassing a combined 632 metres gained (wind assisted), from over 900 touch finding penalties \/ clearing kicks during his professional rugby career <\/p>\n Consuming 2 litres of Saki during a post season Karaoke bar visit, wearing a bandana and whilst trying to explain Khe Sahn to some of his confused Japanese team mates.<\/p>\n Spanners leaves the game with a SR title, Japanese titles, a 7\u2019s Commonwealth Silver medal and a Bledisloe Cup, World Cup, Lions series victory, Tri-Nations title, participation medal from the Lithgow Shamrock Colts. Although yet to confirm his next venture, this intrepid reporter hears he has been approached to become the kicking coach for our men\u2019s wheelchair rugby side: the Steelers.<\/p>\n Congrats from all at G&GR Spanners, and go well post rugby.<\/p>\n Murderball.<\/p>\n Both a great name for a sport and also what American parents in Kansas Southern School District #9, refer to as \u2018school drop off\u2019. And in a strange, yet sumptuous irony, Australia\u2019s murder capital Adelaide, is playing host to the event. In a symbiotic gesture, all the medals on offer to the top three finishers, have been pressed from barrels from the Snowtown area. So that\u2019s nice.<\/p>\n The event sponsored by the environments friend, tax evaders and Senator Pocock fanboys: SANTOS (who\u2019s mission statement reads: \u2018The environment can get fracked. And don\u2019t get us started on taxes\u2019) kicked off yesterday and will run for three days. The competition includes teams from: the Seppos, Soap Dodgers, Krauts, as well as the South American hair pluckers, Brazil. They go head to head with our own Aussie Steelers. <\/p>\n In a gala weekend for wheelchair rugby, the international fixtures will run parallel to our own domestic national titles and a junior wheelchair rugby event as well. This is the last year of a three year sponsorship, that sees the gala event played in Australia\u2019s most boring capital city.<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/Poop..webp.webp\")
Nice & chunky.<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/Bernard-Foley-Professional_gcac9f-620x413.jpg\")
International man of mystery<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/Steelers-1-620x349.jpg\")
\u2018Did you hear? Spanners might be joining the coaching team!\u2019 (AP: Aurelien Morissard)<\/p>\n
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Welcome to Newcastle, where great views and large insurance claims awaits.<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/Homer.jpg\")
You heard it here first eventually!\u2019<\/p>\n