{"id":678468,"date":"2026-05-18T11:09:13","date_gmt":"2026-05-18T11:09:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/678468\/"},"modified":"2026-05-18T11:09:13","modified_gmt":"2026-05-18T11:09:13","slug":"the-monday-knee-jerk-reaction-round-ten-titus-oreily","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/678468\/","title":{"rendered":"The Monday Knee Jerk Reaction: Round Ten – Titus O’Reily"},"content":{"rendered":"

Footy is a passion, not some cold hearted, spread sheet dominated rational exercise.<\/p>\n

On a Monday, you want irrational reaction. You want emotion to trump reason.<\/p>\n

What you really want is idiotic hysteria.<\/p>\n

You’ve come to the right place.<\/p>\n

Thursday<\/p>\n

Brisbane (76) v Geelong (117)<\/p>\n

Here we go again. Geelong\u2019s continual avoidance of the AFL\u2019s equalisation efforts is the most ridiculous thing I\u2019ve ever seen.<\/p>\n

And I\u2019ve seen Jaws: The Revenge, where Chief Martin Brody, from the first film, dies of a heart attack, only for a shark to kill his son.<\/p>\n

Chief Brody\u2019s widow, Ellen, concludes it\u2019s a revenge attack because we all know sharks communicate with each other and seek revenge.<\/p>\n

Her family don\u2019t believe her.<\/p>\n

Ellen, then gets on a plane, travels thousands of kilometres to the Bahamas, only for the shark to follow the family.<\/p>\n

I mean, really, the shark knows the itinerary of a plane?\u00a0<\/p>\n

The shark then stalks her family in the Bahamas, and don\u2019t they wish they\u2019d listened to Ellen?<\/p>\n

I mean, I know they took a lot of cocaine in Hollywood in the ’80s, but that\u2019s ridiculous.<\/p>\n

Anyway, Geelong are like that shark, doing things that, frankly, should be impossible but equally terrifying.<\/p>\n

This week\u2019s Sports Bizarre Podcast is our series on Yankees owner George Steinbrenner, a man who appeared as a character in Seinfeld and fired everyone.<\/a><\/p>\n

Friday<\/p>\n

Sydney (81) v Collingwood (75)<\/p>\n

Forget gold numbers. What we really need is some \u2018Pendlebury would have been handy\u2019 merch.<\/p>\n

This is professional sport, not the WWE. You don\u2019t organise everything around the storyline.<\/p>\n

Resting Pendlebury to give him a win in his record-breaking game is all well and good, but not if you\u2019re losing important games.<\/p>\n

It also sets up the rather alarming scenario of West Coast spoiling the party next week. It\u2019s not likely, but fingers crossed.<\/p>\n

The Pies were good in this, too.<\/p>\n

They got a lead early, but the Swans ramped up the pressure.<\/p>\n

The Swans biggest enemy was themselves, as they squandered opportunity after opportunity.<\/p>\n

Luckily for them, the sheer weight of numbers meant they still got over the top in the end.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s my secret to life, squandered opportunity after opportunity but I keep going and hope everything comes good.<\/p>\n

That hasn\u2019t happened yet, but I trust the process.<\/p>\n

If you want to ensure you get my columns every week, the best way is to sign up for the email.<\/a><\/p>\n

Gold Coast (98) v Port Adelaide (73)<\/p>\n

The Suns have now gone five seasons without being defeated in Darwin. It\u2019s enough to make you wonder why they don\u2019t just move there.<\/p>\n

I know lots of people who have moved there for less convincing reasons.<\/p>\n

Like my mate Jeff who moved there for, in his words, \u2018the fishing and loose enforcement of Responsible Serving of Alcohol regulations.\u2019<\/p>\n

Jeff was also trying to avoid paternity payments, but he never publicly gave that as one of the reasons.<\/p>\n

Anyway, it\u2019s hard to win up there, and Port proved that, going down by 40 points at one stage before mounting something of a comeback.<\/p>\n

Port were just too inconsistent, and the conditions didn\u2019t help their forwards.<\/p>\n

The question for the Suns, though, is the question we all have after spending a bit of time in Darwin: how long will the hangover last?<\/p>\n

Saturday<\/p>\n

Adelaide (133) v North Melbourne (65)<\/p>\n

North fans felt like their rebuild was starting to get somewhere.<\/p>\n

But a ten-goal-to-none second quarter was like seeing the guy doing your rebuild appearing on A Current Affair, covering his face while fleeing from a reporter.\u00a0<\/p>\n

In the lead up to this game, all I heard was how North were a chance. That, finally, after all these years, they have finally got back to an AFL standard.<\/p>\n

With Riley Thilthorpe and Taylor Walker both out, this was North\u2019s chance to finally win a game at Adelaide Oval.<\/p>\n

That line of thinking lasted until that second quarter, when the Crows rolled through the Roos like a hot knife through Pepe Saya Cultured Butter.<\/p>\n

Adelaide had been working on their runoff half back, and based on this, that work is paying off.<\/p>\n

Alastair Clarkson\u2019s been at the Kangaroos since 2023, and while it was a big hole he had to dig the club out of, it would be helpful if a few of his players picked up a shovel.<\/p>\n

Melbourne (120) v Hawthorn (81)<\/p>\n

Dees fans had a tough week with the Federal Budget targeting two of their three favourite things, negative gearing and family trusts.<\/p>\n

Luckily, their remaining favourite thing got things done against the Hawks. It made losing that eighth beach house a bit more bearable.<\/p>\n

To be fair, Hawthorn were missing Jack Gunston and Tom Barrass, big outs, but the Dees work rate, especially in the second half, when they really got going, was impressive.<\/p>\n

Steven King has revolutionised Melbourne\u2019s side with new ideas like \u2018how about we kick some goals?\u2019 and \u2018let\u2019s try to enjoy playing footy.\u2019<\/p>\n

Melbourne supporters aren\u2019t used to having fun at the footy, and it showed.<\/p>\n

My great aunt forgot to open her second thermos full of chardonnay on Saturday, such was her excitement.<\/p>\n

If you want to ensure you get my columns every week, the best way is to sign up for the email.<\/a><\/p>\n

Carlton (74) v Western Bulldogs (62)<\/p>\n

Is it possible that coaching Carlton isn\u2019t as hard as Michael Voss made it look?<\/p>\n

It certainly looked like that on the weekend, although it was against a Bulldogs side so injured they\u2019ve hired three people just to manage the Medicare paperwork.<\/p>\n

Seeing the team you just left win a game must be like finding out the partner you left went on a really good date and they\u2019re seeing each other again on Tuesday.<\/p>\n

\u2018It\u2019s too soon\u2019, you scream into your pillow as you sob your eyes out, because you only broke up with them because you wanted to get in before they dumped you\u00a0<\/p>\n

Then you wonder if your mum was right, that you\u2019re the problem and no one will ever love you. That somehow you\u2019re broken.<\/p>\n

Wait, what were we talking about?<\/p>\n

Sunday<\/p>\n

Essendon (61) v Fremantle (104)<\/p>\n

No one suffers more from the sacking of Michael Voss than Essendon.<\/p>\n

No matter how bad the Bombers were, they could always point to Carlton and say, \u2018get a load of these guys.\u2019<\/p>\n

Everyone knows that having someone worse than you at work is very handy.<\/p>\n

At my former workplace, it was Derek in Accounts Receivable.<\/p>\n

He was so hopeless you could sit in your performance review and say, \u2018What\u2019s with Derek?\u2019 and the boss would just complain about him for the next forty minutes and forget why you were there.<\/p>\n

Essendon have lost their Derek.<\/p>\n

Fremantle don\u2019t even need a Derek. They are on fire and travelling along perfectly.<\/p>\n

Being Fremantle, they are under the radar. In fact, they are the Stealth Bomber of AFL sides.<\/p>\n

They could win a Premiership and I\u2019m not sure every Melbourne media outlet would report on it.<\/p>\n

St Kilda (109) v Richmond (73)<\/p>\n

A big congratulations to the Tigers for fielding a side this week.<\/p>\n

While most sides hope for enough talent to put pressure on players to maintain their spot, at Tigerland, if you can stand, you play.<\/p>\n

While a win was not on the Tigers wish list, getting through without losing another player was, and unfortunately, Campbell Gray went down with a hamstring.<\/p>\n

It means next week, the kid who runs out through the banner will get to stay on and play.<\/p>\n

St Kilda did everything they needed to do, and they needed this win.<\/p>\n

They have Fremantle next week, which is like going from fighting an unwell puppy to fighting a grizzly bear.<\/p>\n

West Coast (88) v Greater Western Sydney (71)<\/p>\n

I was somewhat surprised by how entertaining this game was given the participants.<\/p>\n

The Giants had their chances, but they struggled against the Eagles’ relentless pressure, a sentence I haven\u2019t written in almost a decade.<\/p>\n

And there was no one more responsible for the win than Harley Reid, who finished with 33 disposals, 10 clearances, 12 inside 50s and two goals.\u00a0<\/p>\n

He may work out after all.<\/p>\n

The Giants really have fallen off a cliff this year. The question is, how far will they fall?<\/p>\n

They\u2019ve got players to return, but they don\u2019t look that potent.<\/p>\n

As for the Eagles, they face Collingwood next week, in which Scott Pendlebury will break the all-time game record. You probably didn\u2019t know that because the build-up has been muted.<\/p>\n

It does mean the Eagles could do one of the funniest things of all time.<\/p>\n

You can help support me in producing this ridiculous nonsense I churn out on a regular basis. Find out more here: https:\/\/titusoreily.com\/support-titus<\/a><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Footy is a passion, not some cold hearted, spread sheet dominated rational exercise. On a Monday, you want…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":678469,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[43,44,41,39,42,40],"class_list":["post-678468","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-headlines","tag-headlines","tag-news","tag-top-news","tag-top-stories","tag-topnews","tag-topstories"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/678468","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=678468"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/678468\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/678469"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=678468"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=678468"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=678468"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}