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What anger issues? Ponderosa Central<\/p>\nGreetings, salutations and welcome to your working week wind-down and to Friday\u2019s Rugby News. Today we tick off the big issues as we approach the pointy end of the super rugby season.<\/p>\n
Today we kick off proceedings with \u2018Time for Tahs Time! Preview the penultimate round of SRP in \u2018Ladder Run\u2019. We investigate where true value for money lies for RWC 2027 ticket prices in \u2018Come Again?\u2019. Then sojourn up north for the latest in a legal stoush with \u2018The Brain Blame Game\u2018. Add another chapter to our \u2018Only in NZ\u2019 handy tourist guide for \u2018Why are you limping, and what\u2019s that noise?\u2019 Before we bid adieu to another grinding work week with \u2018Friday\u2019s Goss with Hoss\u2019 now offering G&GR for sale at $12.5 million, a bargain and we all avoid CGT (communist gouging tariffs).<\/p>\n
What anger issues? Ponderosa Central<\/p>\n
Time for Tahs time!<\/p>\n
How are the Tahs still still a chance this season? It\u2019s improbable, bordering on impossible, that there is any sort of finals heartbeat running through Daceyville, let alone one win away from being in the six. The season for this Tahs fan, has been akin to watching a bulldog eat porridge. I get the ambition, but bugger me the execution been hard to stomach. From selections, to game plan (singular) and execution: well, it\u2019s been one hell of a mess. Yet here they stand.<\/p>\n
Perhaps the Tahs endeavours have been perfectly illustrated by the lion hearted Joey \u2018Gonzo\u2019 Walton. Now to be clear, Gonzo is by no means the cause of the Tahs woes, but more symptomatic of the ails at Tah land:<\/p>\n
Kicks when he should run.<\/p>\n
Runs when he should kick,<\/p>\n
Passes when he should hold it<\/p>\n
Holds it when he should pass\u00a0<\/p>\n
And by some miracle, if all of the above is avoided, drops it cold when there\u2019s a chance on<\/p>\n
But all is not lost. The last seven (7) days has seen two good bits of news for those of us fans who hemorrhage light blue: first win outside of Australia since 2022 (yep: 2022). And, the first time Chuckles has selected the same team two weeks in a row, for this entire season. And what a breath of fresh air was the performance. Limited box kicking (hal-a-frigging-luya). Cohesive attack structures with a #10 challenging the line and forcing defenders to make a decision (how revolutionary). Forwards doing the grunt work and bending the line. And some excellent finishing by the latte swilling, hair product subscribers.<\/p>\n
Now I completely get that to many Oz fans, ok, to most Oz fans, that the Tahs are unloved and despised, and fair enough too. I concede that over the years, Tahs rugby have had more pricks than a second hand dartboard, sprinkled across the organisation. But for the Wallabies to be strong, the Tahs must be strong and I\u2019d encourage you to look at the 2014-15 success of the Tahs against the 2014-15 run of our Wallabies. This timeframe saw the Tahs win SR in \u201914 and make the semi\u2019s in \u201915. The same Wallabies period ultimately ending in being beaten in the RWC final by Nigel Owens (who will ever forget his comment to Wallaby skipper Squeak \u2018away with you Schtevun\u2019, as opposed to \u2018How do you think I am going Ritchie, do you need a back rub?\u2019). Indeed I recall one David \u2018Brian\u2019 Pocock on the receiving end of more \u2018neck rolls\u2019 than at \u2018Lucy Liu\u2019s body massage and happy ending emporium\u2019 that I\u2019ve heard Bris oft mention, in Fortitude Valley. Half price Tuesday\u2019s apparently.<\/p>\n
But I digress. I encourage the Tahs to throw everything including the kitchen sink at the Brumbies later tonight. Circumstance and the soft underbelly of the Reds and Ponies has left the door slightly ajar for you to make the top 6. So don\u2019t meekly stick your nose through the door and see who\u2019s home. Kick the bloody thing wide open, raid the fridge, empty the pantry, take an oversized dump in the laundry basket and walk out 90 minutes later saying: \u2018well, we gave it a crack and it was a hoot\u2019.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s Tahs time baby.<\/p>\n
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<\/p>\n
Ladder run.<\/p>\n
Interesting ladder huh! Reds have a worse F&A than the Tahs, they also less bonus points, yet sit above them (for now). The Ponies only have a 50% winning season, poor by their standards, but still might make the top 6. Up and is down, black is offside white, in is out, yet places 4-7 are still any bodies guess. And mathematically, three Aussie sides could finish in the six! Go figure.<\/p>\n
Friday 22 May 5:05 pm AEST \u2013 Crusaders v Chiefs at One NZ Stadium, Christchurch on Stan Sport<\/p>\n
These two teams don\u2019t like each other, which only adds to this spectacle, especially the battle of the backrows. AB\u2019s everywhere, and mathematically possible for the Chiefs to still finish #1 for the season, and alternatively, for the Crusaders to miss the finals. What\u2019s not to like!<\/p>\n
Fearless Prediction: Saders at home, that\u2019ll be just enough. Dark lords by 3.<\/p>\n
Up for grabs:<\/p>\n
Chiefs win or lose, will remain in second pace on F&A<\/p>\n
Saders win \u2013 stay in 4th (Blues have the bye). Lose and pending other results, could drop to 6th, but not guaranteed to make the final 6 overall.<\/p>\n
Friday 22 May 7:35 pm AEST \u2013 NSW Waratahs v ACT Brumbies at Allianz Stadium, Sydney on Stan Sport<\/p>\n
History is littered with ugly ducklings overachieving: Prince Charles marrying Dianna. Jay Z and Beyonce. Billy Joels & Christy Brinkley, Mr H Cartwright and the Tasmanian Senior Netball All Stars. So why not the NSW Waratahs as well.<\/p>\n
Fearless Prediction. Why not indeed. Nutta, I believe you have my mailing address, better send that whisky I reckon. Tahs, by enough.<\/p>\n
Up for grabs:<\/p>\n
Tahs: win with bonus point, jump to 33 points and in the 6, regardless of Reds result.<\/p>\n
Tahs: lose and Reds (likely) beat MP = season is over, can\u2019t make the 6.<\/p>\n
Brumbies: win of any kind secures top 6 for the season<\/p>\n
Brumbies: lose and Reds win, fall outside the top 6, but could make top 6 in last round (pending results and interestingly, pending bonus points)<\/p>\n
Saturday 23 May 2:35 pm AEST \u2013 Moana Pasifika v Queensland Reds at North Harbour Stadium, Auckland on Stan Sport<\/p>\n
This will be a hiding, and years from now the history books will read: Remember the Alamo-ana. The good news for all Oz fans is the return of Joe Dirt (Tate McDermott). Joe played 40 minutes for his club side last week, the Boondock Bogans, and has been fast tracked back into the Reds starting XV as they search for their off again, on again mojo. On their day, the best and most enjoyable Aussie side to watch play. But those days have been far to infrequent so far this year.<\/p>\n
Fearless prediction: Reds by 35.<\/p>\n
Up for grabs:<\/p>\n
MP \u2013 pride only<\/p>\n
Reds: win, stay in side the 6.<\/p>\n
Reds: lose, provide urine sample (standing in the queue behind South African rugby) to World Anti Doping Agency<\/p>\n
Saturday 23 May 5:05 pm AEST \u2013 Hurricanes v Highlanders at Henry Stadium, Wellington on Stan Sport<\/p>\n
The Canes must be 007 fans, because they are licensed to thrill. Landers already dreaming of mad Monday and they rely to much on their skipper Kavatavernnorway anyway.<\/p>\n
Fearless Prediction: Canes by 28<\/p>\n
Up for grabs:<\/p>\n
Canes confirm their supremacy and secure #1 spot for the season. Rest players the following week<\/p>\n
Canes: lose \u2013 still in top spot, chance to secure last round<\/p>\n
Landers: win, only piss-off fans for another wasted campaign, also an outside chance of top 6 following week<\/p>\n
Landers: Lose, Jamie Joseph gets bored and starts destabilisng Moses Rennie\u2019s tenure.<\/p>\n
Saturday 23 May 7:35 pm AEST \u2013 Western Force v Fijian Drua at HBF Park, Perth on Stan Sport<\/p>\n
Yep, it will take some rather favourable results for the Force XV to make the top 6 and to be honest, they seem more worthy to be at the pointy end than do either the Brumbies or the Tahs, but such is life. The Drua will have their minds on lazy days on the sand or playing for large French contracts for next year. The Drua have underwhelmed immensely this year. They have regressed in play, lost their flair and are ripe for a propper pantsing.<\/p>\n
Fearless Prediction: Force by 26<\/p>\n
Up for grabs:<\/p>\n
Force: win and the flickering embers of finals footy lives on a touch longer<\/p>\n
Force: Lose, and the lady with the thyroid problem breaks into Pavaroti behind the curtain.<\/p>\n
Drua: who cares. They\u2019ve sucked this year.<\/p>\n
Cant wait, could be a cracking turn of events this round.<\/p>\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/Yowie-3.0-620x413.png\")
\u2018For $5 more I can grease the nipples and stroke the tyre rod. But for $50, you can also get piston\u2019. Yowies \u2018Only Fans\u2019 page<\/p>\n
Come again?<\/p>\n
Lots of talk this week surrounding RWC ticket prices for next year, some with an eye watering $2,000 price tag. Sure, it\u2019s the biggest sporting event in the world, but as a family of four, and the Wallabies sweet FA chance of being at the pointy end of the cup, I thought I\u2019d investigate what else you might considering investing on for the same type of money. So, available for a short time only from Gagger Travels (also the name of Yowies memoir from when he hitch-hiked around Australia as a young guy), for your investment consideration:<\/p>\n
$2,000 RWC Final Ticket: France v South Africa.<\/p>\n
Or: 2 nights at the Ponderosa Grotto and former licensed slaughter house. Offer includes some meals (catch and kill), cooking lessons, camp fire tails and family adventure. Also includes: Free Ebola vaccination, and your very own bespoke sanitation bucket (blue for boys, pink for girls, or red for undecided)<\/p>\n
You\u2019ll take in the sites and aroma\u2019s, the history and rescues from: the outdoor \u2018dunny of danger\u2019<\/p>\n
Run the gauntlet and strap yourself in for spills and thrills with: \u2018Ride Victor\u2019: our cantankerous angora goat, before he rides you like a hopped up honeymooner, when you retire to your swag for the evening<\/p>\n
When night falls, be regaled with fireside stories by Mrs Hoss, as she shares life lessons about drinking too much at a B&S ball, developing a nasty rash soon after, and \u2018ruining the rest of your life, stranded with a fat, rugby watching, loser\u2019.<\/p>\n
Free cooking lessons with the Hoss littluns: learn to catch, kill, skin, tenderise and slow roast over treated pine, a variety of meats from possum, to wombat and that pain in the arse neighbours cat, Sherman.<\/p>\n
You\u2019ll leave with memories to last a lifetime, goat semen in your sleeping bags, possible arson poisoning and Ponderosa belly to help you shed wanted or unwanted kegs.<\/p>\n
$1,000 RWC Final ticket: NZ v Ireland<\/p>\n
Or: all expenses paid trip for two, to KARLS mystical world of obvious facts for stupid people and a***holes, and relationship counselling for losers.<\/p>\n
Here you can be certified in the art of brutal diplomacy: with the website stating: \u2018KARLS ability to turn stupid f***s from stealing oxygen for the rest of you useless c***s to actually help contribute something f*****g meaningful to society and stop these p****s and s**t heads from r*****g the world for the rest of us.<\/p>\n
Listen as KARL retells his role as lead negotiator for the Seppo\u2019s in Iran to help end the crisis. He shares his views on: \u2018f*****g sand-dwelling camel r*****s. And just what he\u2019d do to bring peace to the region and a reading from his best selling and instructive views on a sustainable peace in the middle east with: \u2018Just nuke the f*****s\u2019. <\/p>\n
You\u2019ll leave \u2018KARLS Compound\u2019 with a renewed vigour and deeper insight into life and hopeful you didn\u2019t use your real names or address details when you made the booking.<\/p>\n
$500 RWC Ticket: Wallabies v England<\/p>\n
Or: A day long tour of the southern NSW bushland with Nutta for his: \u2018If I was a backpacker killer, this is how\u2019d I\u2019d have done it and where I might also hide the bodies they haven\u2019t found yet. Just sayin Tour.\u2019<\/p>\n
Feel the hair on the back of your back stand up as experienced bushman Nutta retells, with uncanny realism, accounts so realistic, and bushland graves so authentic, you\u2019ll be calling the police soon afterwards. <\/p>\n
And by osmosis, develop a lifelong passion, bordering on obsession, for investigating actual unsolved missing persons cases for years after your day long adventure ends\u2019.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s the gift that keeps on giving: nightmares.<\/p>\n
$100 RWC Ticket: Italy v Wales<\/p>\n
Or: For the budget conscious, 3 months access to Yowie\u2019s \u2018Only Fans\u2019 account. <\/p>\n
If watching a smallish, dim witted, offensively hairy Coinslander do housework in a Mankini is your thing, then you\u2019re in for a treat. Titillation is only a click away, as you can see the little man mow the lawn, or bend over looking for coins down the back of the lounge. Or seductively handle sausages as he preps the Sunday BBQ.<\/p>\n
And for only a little more, you can watch him strip down a carby from an old Subaru banger, while \u2018accidentally\u2019 spilling grease on himself and smearing it all over a midriff surface area approaching keg size proportions, where once only a six-pack resided. <\/p>\n
Watch him grease the nipples or stroke the tyre rods. And exclusive to \u2018platinum members, you can also get piston.<\/p>\n
Tantalise the senses, and shave 2 seconds off your 0-100 speeds at the same time.<\/p>\n
Yowies \u2018Sensual Subaru Seduction\u2019, for the connoisseurs and lovers of the unison between a fine machine and a fine man: a mechanical ballet of the beasts, is only a credit card payment away, followed by numerous psychological realignment sessions. <\/p>\n
For once seen, it can never be \u2018unseen\u2019. <\/p>\n
Who needs to watch the RWC, when G&GR Travel can offer you so much more. Life altering experiences that you may never forget. Call 1800 SUCKERS today to book your next adventure.<\/p>\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/Brain-illustration.jpg\")
\u2018Normal\u2019 brains are blue!<\/p>\n
The brain blame game.<\/p>\n
Surprising developments from up north with news of the lawsuit bought by 1,200 players against their respective unions. The latest update from bbc.com<\/a> stating that the unions are seeking to have the matter thrown out, due to delays from the plaintiffs counsel, to supply the appropriate medical reports by the date set by the judge.<\/p>\n I have not followed the case closely enough to provide forensic insight into the minutia, but to have a case like his dismissed on a legal technically strikes me as abhorrent. While yes, I am brutally realistic enough to know that no union (our own included) will offer any financial assistance unless legally dragged kicking and screaming to the negotiation table. But for the love of Ganesh, at what point does doing what\u2019s right, doing what\u2019s decent, and looking after those impacted by CTE take priority over money? Might I add, those same players who helped generate untold millions to the coffers of their respective unions in the first place and now suffer CTE as a result of said efforts.<\/p>\n Rhetorical question; but have those in rugby authority completely devoid of any basic humanity and just where is world rugby in all of this?<\/p>\n Why are you limping and what\u2019s that noise?<\/p>\n The Crusaders and the Chiefs don\u2019t get along at the best of times, but tensions across the dutch are heating up a wee bit. With the two sides to square off this weekend, Chiefs rugby has publicly encouraged their fans to \u2018flout\u2019 the Saders cow bell ban in the Saders new stadium. The Chiefs instead telling fans to carry out some \u2018creative smuggling\u2019, with the Saders hierarchy responding by promising to \u2018melt\u2019 any bells they confiscate.<\/p>\n This reporter feels the Chiefs administrators may have inadvertently caused a Waikato public health emergency, as Kiwis usually perform \u2018creative smuggling\u2019 through Australian customs anyway, via the use secreting \u2018goods\u2019 in a rather compressed body cavity. On the plus side though, Hamilton pharmacist\u2019s have reported a substantial, and unexplained increase in the sales of both enemas and Vaseline in the lead up to this weeks game and coincidentally, since the \u2018creative smuggling\u2019 directive was issued. Indeed many local shoppers out and about in the Waikato region this week, report hearing a lot of muffled \u2018Ding Dong Merrily on High\u2019 as some Chief\u2019s fans limp past them. It also caused mass confusion as locals kept checking their wristwatches every time a \u2018gong\u2019 was heard publicly. One local Kiwi \u2018sanitation engineer\u2019 (aka Garbo collector) called Levon-Leroy-Lamar Levison-Tangawatty telling G&GR: \u2018I aint iva sin so mini wrust watches un the skup bin, hey brew. I dunno what\u2019s going on cuz. Chip Chineez crap I rickon\u201d<\/p>\n So a tip for Saders security types if I may: should there be any Chiefs fans observed walking with a pronounced limp, while you can simultaneously also hear a muffled \u2018Carol of the Bells\u2019, should be taken away for intense questioning. At the very least subjected to a \u2018metal wand\u2019 investigation in search of potential metal contraband. And indeed, should they be found \u2018packing\u2019, I\u2019d highly recommend that any \u2018melting\u2019 should perhaps take place \u2018in situ\u2019. <\/p>\n Only in NZ huh. Well that and livestock buggery anyway.<\/p>\n Friday\u2019s Goss with Hoss.<\/p>\n Digging Digby out.<\/p>\n Sad news for all involved in the events surrounding former Reds & Wallaby star Digby Ioane, currently being held on remand for \u2018threatening to kill\u2019 an individual over a proposed land deal in Samoa. The article in the Brisbane Times<\/a> references concerns from Digby\u2019s family, for his mental health. The matter was adjourned to be heard later this year.<\/p>\n All the way with 7A\u2019s.<\/p>\n The guy with the same amount of \u2018A\u2019s as the \u2018Aardvark Association of Avid Adventurers\u2019, Allan Alaalatoa, will run out for Super Rugby match 150 tonight when his team loses to the Tahs. An unsung hero of both Ponies and Wallabies rugby, I love how 7A\u2019s plays his footy. No fuss, no fanfare, just hooks in. I love his humility and humanity of the paddock as well. For a Pony, you\u2019re alright 7A\u2019s. Congrats from all at G&GR.<\/p>\n \u2018Sleepy\u2019 in.<\/p>\n The worst kept secret in Oz rugby was confirmed yesterday, with Tom \u2018Sleepy\u2019 Lynagh committing to Australian Rugby until at least the end of 2027 (when a shit-tonne of current players chase the Yen \/ Pound \/ Euro overseas until they return in 2030 for a crack at the 2031 mass school shootings, interspersed with some rugby interruptions, palooza, live from Donaldville.<\/p>\n Under 500.<\/p>\n Coincidentally, both the combined aggregate of all IQ\u2019s in Coinsland and how many days to go until our RWC kicks off, culminating in France & South Africa playing the final. Can\u2019t wait. Can\u2019t afford to go, but I can\u2019t wait to watch it all unfold.<\/p>\n Bond bad guy?<\/p>\n \u2018Van Nek, Rhys Van Nek\u2019 Sounds like a really cool bad guy in Jimmy Bond films, but also the name of fellow Pony prop porker who will run on for SRP 50 in his sides losing game to the Tahs tonight. I like the way this young guy plies his trade. Abrasive and lippy, with a modicum of mongrel thrown in for good measure. How all props should be. Well done and congratulations RVN from all on G&GR<\/p>\n Chur Cuz.<\/p>\n Seems like the Kiwi\u2019s are pre-preparing excuses ALREADY for the Greatest Rivalry tour coming up soon against the Dutch Dirt Farmers. Stuff.co.nz<\/a> reporting around the madness of the non-selection, or rather \u2018non-availability\u2019 or Princess Mo\u2019unga for the tour, even though he is a: back in NZ and b: signed with NZR through to the end of 2027!<\/p>\n Handbags and moisturisers, at 10 paces.<\/p>\n Interesting battle within a battle this weekend. Tom Wright, not long back from a serious injury, working back onto form and probably a yard or two off full pace and still feeling his way back into the game. Verse twinkle toes himself, Mr light fantastic, Mad Max Jorgo, brilliant on the wing, but publicly declaring that fullback is his \u2018natural position\u2019 (meaning his preferred position). Throw in Jock Campbell who has added a few yards of pace and been uber consistent this year. And Mac Grealy who reminds me of a Mac Hansen type player, smart , gritty, great game awareness, just much less \u2018complete tool\u2019 factor, and the race for gold #15 is certainly well and truly up for grabs. Naturally Max will win, but it\u2019s nice for the others to feel involved.<\/p>\n I object.<\/p>\n Round one of legal proceedings have commenced in Victoria as the legal case between the \u2018put it on RA\u2019s tab\u2019 Melbourne Rebels, who won the toss and elected to bat first. Against the \u2018we\u2019re cashed up now and gonna make you pay what you owe\u2019 Rugby Australia.<\/p>\n The Rebels have spent nearly the first two days outlining their opening arguments, a summation of which might read: \u2018RA sucks\u2019. RA have commenced their reply in opening arguments (still ongoing) by stating that: \u2018oh yeah, well maybe if you got some decent crowds and actually won some games, you might be able to pay your own bills\u2019<\/p>\n Witnesses are expected to take the stand next week, amongst them The Badger, Phil Waugh. For those who\u2019s lives have lost all measure of meaning, you can actually livestream the proceedings via the Federal Court\u2019s Youtube channel<\/a><\/p>\n Until next week. Go the Tahs<\/p>\n Hoss \u2013 out.<\/p>\n .<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Greetings, salutations and welcome to your working week wind-down and to Friday\u2019s Rugby News. Today we tick off…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":685442,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[567],"tags":[64,63,760,85],"class_list":["post-685441","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-rugby","tag-au","tag-australia","tag-rugby","tag-sports"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/685441","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=685441"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/685441\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/685442"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=685441"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=685441"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=685441"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/COW-620x413.png\")
\u2018I aint getting in there cuz!\u2019 Why smuggle a bell, when you can smuggle the whole cow!<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/Homer.jpg\")
You heard it here first eventually!\u2019<\/p>\n