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David Astle<\/a>Crossword compiler and ABC Radio Melbourne presenter<\/p>\nMay 25, 2026 \u2014 4:00pm<\/p>\n
May 25, 2026 \u2014 4:00pm<\/p>\n
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Remove items from your saved list<\/a> to add more.<\/p>\n AAA<\/p>\n One comedy show. Two seats. Not a big ask. But the days of simple transactions seem as numbered as those seats I\u2019d spent an hour to secure. The problem was the chatbot, linked to the app that absorbed my data and credit card details, yet somehow failed to render the physical QR codes to manifest the seats.<\/p>\n Are you following this? The chatbot struggled. While I had confirmation of the sale via email, I lacked the evidence an usher would recognise. Hence, my chat with Google Dialogflow \u2122 built within the Ticketmaster app, a chatbot that \u201cutilizes natural language processing to help users search for tickets and purchase them.\u201d<\/p>\n Having opted out of future emails and amazing discount deals, I hunted in vain for the tickets I\u2019d allegedly purchased (plus order processing fees). Hence, a query for Reymart, my service bot on the day, who suggested the items were on my account page within the app.<\/p>\n This entailed an access password of course, no fewer than eight characters, ironically excessive compared to Sammy J\u2019s single-character show looming as the kerfuffle\u2019s reward. Still, I reproduced my dog\u2019s name with a haphazard capital and tail-end asterisk only to reach a barren accounts page.<\/p>\n The tickets aren\u2019t here, I typed. Yes they are, said Reymart. No they\u2019re not, and so on: man and machine locked into a playground cadence of irksome nostalgia. Long story short, I found my tickets via the icon on a baseline button bar that Reymart had neglected to explain, goading the final dudgeon of my inner curmudgeon:<\/p>\n \u201cBingo \u2013 I have found the tickets. There should be a simple direction toward \u2013 or an imposed alert upon \u2013 the relevant icon in the button bar. For a simple matter of getting tickets for a show, this has been a very poor and needlessly complicated experience with your service.\u201d<\/p>\n It\u2019s why I love op shops. Sure, there\u2019s a bargain to be had, a good cause to serve, but the prime appeal sits in the sale\u2019s honesty.<\/p>\n Reymart replied, \u201cThanks for chatting with us today. This conversation has now closed. Have a great day!\u201d (Exclamation mark all \u201chis\u201d.)<\/p>\n Happily, Sammy J\u2019s homage to Phantom comics was a great show, once the usher decoded our virtual tickets and pointed to our seats. Though for weeks I mused the phantom behind Google Dialogflow\u2122 and its artificial cousins. As consumers, we are often locked into these false amities with chatbots, our to-and-fro reliant on what previous questions and responses have been digested by the software, as if every exchange is just a template of the one previous, as if one love song is the same as every love song.<\/p>\n Related Article The episode evoked a BlueSky fable, posted by a humourist under the handle of Better Things Are Possible: \u201cModern technology could learn from older stuff that does what it\u2019s supposed to and doesn\u2019t bother you. My toilet just works and never sends me emails like \u201cGood news! Flush\u00ae is now Floosh\u00ae\u201d<\/p>\n It\u2019s why I love op shops. Sure, there\u2019s a bargain to be had, a good cause to serve, but the prime appeal sits in the sale\u2019s honesty. No word of birthdate or FlyBuys, no case-sensitive passwords or Everyday Rewards, no platinum firewall or loyalty card, no Floosh or Reymart, no QR codes. But rather a human encounter of natural language, a tangible moment of pleasantry without an exclamation mark in cooee.<\/p>\n Get tips, tricks and word games from our crosswords guru, plus links to our online puzzles and quizzes, delivered to your inbox every Saturday. Sign up for our Puzzled with David Astle newsletter<\/a>.<\/p>\n Save<\/p>\n You have reached your maximum number of saved items.<\/p>\n Remove items from your saved list<\/a> to add more.<\/p>\n![\"David](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/08\/5717c73d5433c2a2af5dcbbbbb7f2eddc07eacfc.jpeg\")
David Astle describes a chatbot encounter many of us recognise: \u201cHaving opted out of future emails and amazing discount deals, I hunted in vain for the tickets I\u2019d allegedly purchased.\u201d Getty<\/p>\n![\"The](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/05\/0f6865989916375bcc6b9797d6812f387319ebb0.jpeg\")
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