Subscribe to The Post Most newsletter for the most important and interesting stories from The Washington Post.<\/a><\/p>\nConnecting with people, exercising regularly, meditating – all of these research-backed strategies to improve health and happiness take effort. Like many of us, Lyubomirsky, a distinguished professor of psychology at the University of California at Riverside and author of the book, \u201cThe How of Happiness,\u201d said it\u2019s challenging to fit it all in.<\/p>\n
She has developed a half-dozen habits that she prioritizes every day even, or especially, if she doesn\u2019t feel like it. The Washington Post asked her what her happiness non-negotiables are and why.<\/p>\n
Exercise every day, even if it\u2019s only for 30 seconds<\/p>\n
Regular exercise is crucial for one\u2019s mental health and well-being.<\/p>\n
\u201cMy trick is – because I\u2019m so busy, I have four kids and two jobs basically – I\u2019ll go for a 15-minute run, or I\u2019ll run up the stairs,\u201d Lyubomirsky said. \u201cIt invigorates me.\u201d<\/p>\n
Research shows that with exercise routines, often the perfect can be the enemy of the good: If we can\u2019t make it to the gym or we don\u2019t have time to run three miles, we tend to not do it at all.<\/p>\n
Lyubomirsky said a surprisingly small amount of exercise makes a big difference for our state of mind and overall health. Even just running for the bus or doing a few jumping jacks can have an impact.<\/p>\n
Reach out to people, literally<\/p>\n
Whether you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert, Lyubomirsky and other researchers have found that being social makes us happier. She even wrote a book arguing that love is the key to happiness.<\/p>\n
\u201cI really practice what I preach,\u201d Lyubomirsky said.<\/p>\n
She prioritizes time with friends and family, and makes a point to reach out to people, both metaphorically and literally.<\/p>\n
\u201cI spend a lot of time with my kids, cuddling and talking and watching TV together,\u201d Lyubomirsky said.<\/p>\n
She\u2019s also affectionate with friends, often hugging them and sometimes even holding hands.<\/p>\n
\u201cMost people will think it\u2019s a little weird,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n
But from her research, Lyubomirsky said she\u2019s learned the benefits of physical touch. Cuddling, holding hands or even petting a dog can stimulate the release of the hormone oxytocin, making us feel a sense of calm and well-being.<\/p>\n
\u201cPhysical touch is really undervalued,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n
Go beyond small talk<\/p>\n
Connecting with people and even small talk with strangers has proven benefits. But Lyubomirsky also said it\u2019s important to go deeper, and she tries to be honest and vulnerable in her conversations with friends and even sometimes with acquaintances.<\/p>\n
\u201cTalking about things that matter, that are meaningful to you,\u201d Lyubomirsky said. \u201cSo many of us are really hesitant to share ourselves and it just seems scary. We think it\u2019ll be awkward. We think we\u2019ll be judged.\u201d<\/p>\n
On the contrary, she and other researchers have found that being vulnerable when appropriate is how we connect and feel seen.<\/p>\n
Lyubomirsky also said that many people fear asking questions that feel too personal, but on average when psychologists study this, people crave to be asked, and enjoy real conversations more than shallow ones.<\/p>\n
Practice spirituality<\/p>\n
Research shows that people who identify as religious are happier.<\/p>\n
That is in part because religion provides people with a built-in community and a sense of meaning, both of which are linked to happiness and well being.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s incontrovertible,\u201d Lyubomirsky said.<\/p>\n
Lyubomirsky said she doesn\u2019t consider herself traditionally religious, but has grown more spiritual over the years. She said whether spirituality comes through organized religion or through experiences like spending time in nature, cultivating a sense of purpose is essential to happiness.<\/p>\n
Breathe deeply<\/p>\n
Lyubomirsky said when she feels anxious, she uses breathing exercises to calm herself.<\/p>\n
Anxiety often causes people to breathe faster, but consciously slowing down our breath can bring our bodies into a more physiologically relaxed place. That in turn calms the mind.<\/p>\n
Research has shown that in some people, mindfulness can be as effective as medication to relieve anxiety, and five minutes a day of breath work can improve mood and lower stress.<\/p>\n
Lyubomirsky doesn\u2019t do breathing exercises at any particular time of day, and she suggested keeping it simple, consciously inhaling and exhaling while letting thoughts and worries pass by without engaging with them.<\/p>\n
Gradually these practices train your brain to stress less about what could go wrong and focus more on the present moment.<\/p>\n
List the good things<\/p>\n
When Lyubomirsky first heard about the idea of keeping a gratitude journal, it sounded kind of hokey to her. But in many studies, she saw the remarkable benefits of being thankful.<\/p>\n
She started a file on her computer with a running list of good things that happened, and saw the results in her own life.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s really powerful, because not only does that feel good, but reading them again is really wonderful,\u201d Lyubomirsky said. \u201cIt changes how you go through your week. Maybe I\u2019m even creating more good things so I can put them on my list.\u201d<\/p>\n
She also makes a point of expressing appreciation to the people in her life, and thinking about experiences as she\u2019s having them.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s literally stopping and smelling the roses. When I\u2019m eating, focusing on how good it tastes and how happy I feel. Enjoying music. Sometimes it\u2019s really simple,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n
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