Speaking on Nine\u2019s 100% Footy<\/a>, Evans explained he had been denying his sexuality since he was a teenager and it proved so difficult he battled addiction issues while planning to end his own life.<\/p>\n\u201cI had three goals in life,\u201d Evans said.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd it was; to play NRL. To buy my parents a house, and then I wanted to top myself, because I was living in denial from a young age.<\/p>\n
\u201cI know that. I know that I\u2019m gay. But I went down every other avenue to build up these walls. To be someone, to escape who I am.\u201d<\/p>\n
Evans said he has had to deal with people who knew about his sexuality and were looking to \u201cblackmail\u201d or \u201cout\u201d him, before the Rugby League Players Association helped get him into rehab.<\/p>\n
He celebrated more than four months of being sober in May.<\/p>\n
Kane Evans as a player, and speaking on 100% Footy.Source: FOX SPORTS<\/p>\n
\u201cI still can\u2019t believe that I\u2019m here talking to you,\u201d he told James Bracey.<\/p>\n
\u201cThis is definitely my worst nightmare. But I know if I surrender, its just going to be a start to a new life. I\u2019ve been fighting a war within since I was about 15 years old. And it\u2019s not sustainable.<\/p>\n
\u201cI was sleeping in parks, doing drugs, trying to ultimately pass away so I didn\u2019t have to come to this (conversation).<\/p>\n
\u201cBut I know that there\u2019s people who are struggling with the same struggle that I\u2019ve gone through. So I\u2019m very blessed that I can come here and talk to you, and be able to save a life or two.\u201d<\/p>\n
Will Madge’s reputation cost him? | 01:41<\/p>\n
Evans explained: \u201cI started questioning; \u2018Maybe death isn\u2019t the plan for me yet. Maybe I do deserve to go and get help\u2019.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ve carried (hiding his sexuality) around my whole life. I\u2019m here today to show people that you don\u2019t have to live like that. Even now I feel a bit more free, just by saying it out loud, I\u2019ve brought it to the light.<\/p>\n
\u201cEven over the years when I\u2019ve tried to go down that path (coming out), I\u2019ve had people blackmail me. I\u2019ve had people try to throw me under the bus, I\u2019ve had people try to deflect their problems by trying to out me. And it just built up a lot of shame, and fear and guilt within myself.<\/p>\n
\u201cNow I\u2019ve spoken about it, I\u2019ve shattered all those chains. They\u2019ve lost their power. I feel like coming and speaking to you today, fear, shame, guilt \u2013 all of that, I\u2019ve cut ties with all that.<\/p>\n
\u201cI feel peace within, and I feel like a weight has lifted off my shoulders.\u201d<\/p>\n
If you need help in a crisis, call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or MensLine Australia on 1300 78 99 78.<\/p>\n
For further information about depression, contact beyondblue on 1300 22 4636 or talk to your GP, local health professional or someone you trust.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Former NRL enforcer Kane Evans has become the second male player in league history to come out as…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":723159,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[568],"tags":[64,63,761,762,158,85],"class_list":["post-723158","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-nrl","tag-au","tag-australia","tag-national-rugby-league","tag-nationalrugbyleague","tag-nrl","tag-sports"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/723158","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=723158"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/723158\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/723159"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=723158"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=723158"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=723158"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
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