Our maiden campervan trip, 2021, and my wife and I return from Kata Tjuta to Yulara\u2019s \u201cAyers Rock\u201d campground to find new neighbours. Towering beside our humble rental is a fully optioned monster ute with a spanking new off-road caravan. And a playpen.<\/p>\n
We\u2019re enjoying a sunset dinner outside when a woman lurches down the steps next door cradling a chihuahua. Scowling at us, she drops the dog in the playpen and hauls herself back inside. The dog snarls and yaps until we hastily finish eating and retreat into our tiny van.<\/p>\n
They say you can\u2019t choose your neighbours. But you can if your house has wheels. We happily roll out next morning.<\/p>\n
For any future trips we\u2019re determined not to suffer the major indignity of that one: waking the entire park on a midnight dash to the toilet block via our van\u2019s thunderous sliding door, blasted by next door\u2019s motion-detecting floodlights.<\/p>\n
So our priority feature in any future camper is a toilet. But what else should be on our list? How do we want to travel? Light? Heavy? Do we really want to keep up with the Joneses and get away from it all but still have everything?<\/p>\n
Electric incinerator toilets are one of many luxurious features inside the latest RVs, some of which come with two bathrooms. Photograph: Jayco<\/p>\n
As rank beginners, to find out, we head to the Cranbourne Caravanning & Adventure Leisurefest, an expo of the latest in everything RV. Or not. From its entrance, all we can spot among the hundreds of caravans from 44 manufacturers are off-road models.<\/p>\n
\u201cAre there any non-off-road versions?\u201d I ask a salesman. Paul says that any of his local company\u2019s vans can be ordered up to 30cm lower for \u201ctouring\u201d. But, he adds, they\u2019re only popular with older buyers or those with limited mobility. I notice elderly people struggling to get themselves up into the off-roaders. In case they don\u2019t make it, a nearby stall sells defibrillators.<\/p>\n
\u201cMost people already own four wheel drives, so they buy off-road vans even if they never go off-road,\u201d Paul says wryly. \u201cThe caravan parks are full of them.\u201d<\/p>\n
But where to start? A maze of rolling residences stretches out before us, designed for either families or couples, from the tiny \u201cEchidna\u201d, a basic 10-footer for solo travel, to a gargantuan 29-foot \u201cfive-star hotel on wheels\u201d.<\/p>\n
A Jayco Signature-series motorhome. Photograph: Jayco<\/p>\n
But isn\u2019t \u201cluxury adventure\u201d an oxymoron? Do we really need an electric incinerator toilet \u2013 a sewage-processing option that allays a bane of caravanning, the urgent need for an effluent discharge point? Heated and vibrating recliner lounges; a private jet-style positive-pressure air filter system for a \u201cguaranteed dust-free interior\u201d? Or nine shades of Italian leather upholstery, American walnut panelling or gold tapware?<\/p>\n
We balk at the intimidating vans painted black and khaki with menacing tags \u2013 \u201cCounterstrike\u201d, \u201cPatriot\u201d, \u201cConqueror\u201d and \u201cRebellion\u201d\u2013 that convey a military vibe. Their options include full-perimeter CCTV surveillance and lockable gun storage. For feral pig and crocodile country? No thanks.<\/p>\n
More family-oriented caravans have extendable porches, for uninterrupted views of the boundless western plains, the magnificent MacDonnell Ranges, or the toilet block at Yulara. An alfresco lifestyle is aided by the refrigerated bar, espresso machine, induction hob and air fryer that magically slide from the flanks of a 26-footer. Curiously, we don\u2019t see any bug netting. (After our trip up north, options should include an insecticide pump.) I ask salesman Adrian about the van\u2019s exterior TV \u2013 \u201cfor that moonlight-cinema experience\u201d. \u201cWith Starlink, you\u2019ve got internet everywhere now, just like home,\u201d he says. \u201cBut I\u2019m still a bush-TV man, myself.\u201d<\/p>\n
The kitchen inside Vacationer\u2019s Dakar 229R RV. Photograph: Vacationer Caravans<\/p>\n
But then, isn\u2019t gazing into a crackling fire instead of a TV on a quiet night, in a remote place, so last century?<\/p>\n
All at sea, we seek advice from prospective customers.<\/p>\n
Ben and Deb are looking to upgrade. \u201cSince Ben hurt his back at work our old hybrid van\u2019s too hard to set up,\u201d says Deb, inspecting a $180,000 off-road behemoth that offers push-button ease for everything that opens and shuts, including a washer-dryer and dishwasher, with self-levelling suspension. \u201cIf we were millionaires we\u2019d buy one of these,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n
Jake, Alana and their two bright-eyed daughters just did. The sticker price on their purchase: \u201c$261,995 drive-away\u201d. Alana says their existing van is too small for preteen girls who need their own space. Their new mobile mansion has options for a separate entrance and a study nook with USB ports and wifi for remote schooling.<\/p>\n
The dining area inside Vacationer\u2019s Dakar 229R RV. Photograph: Vacationer Caravans<\/p>\n
Their parents can enjoy privacy way up front in a king-size bed in the expanding master suite, behind an opulent oak-veneered partition with designer hand basin, outside the sparkling incinerator toilet en suite.<\/p>\n
I ask Alana and Jake where they\u2019ll take their impressive new rig. \u201cWe don\u2019t know yet,\u201d Jake says, grinning. \u201cAnywhere, I suppose.\u201d The expo\u2019s official blurb is \u201cStart here, go anywhere\u201d.<\/p>\n
I ask if Jake\u2019s vehicle will haul it. \u201cWe\u2019ve got a Ford F-150. I think so.\u201d<\/p>\n
It\u2019s an apt question, as caravans track the automotive obesity trend. Even carbon fibre-clad models can weigh up to six tonnes, and the effect of weight on fuel consumption has always been a factor in caravanning. But especially now.<\/p>\n
Salesman Ian reluctantly admits van sales slumped when the US-Israel war on Iran began. \u201cBut now fuel prices have dropped again, things are back to normal,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n
I ask him about alternatives to diesel vehicles. \u201cGoing electric isn\u2019t viable yet,\u201d Ian says. Though EVs can have equivalent torque to a six or eight-cylinder diesel, they\u2019re severely range-limited when towing, and charging infrastructure in Australia\u2019s remote areas is sparse. But he is optimistic. \u201cEven if diesel becomes too expensive, the new battery and hybrid technology looks promising.\u201d<\/p>\n
It will need to be. In ideal conditions, towing a large van can see fuel consumption rise well above 20L\/100km. Traversing hills or sand, or using low-range gears, uses even more. On arrival, however, the dream of off-grid living is feasible with a new generation of \u201csmart\u201d caravans.<\/p>\n
Inside a Jayco caravan. Photograph: Jayco<\/p>\n
Their electric tech is remarkable. Almost all the examples we see have solar panels connected to onboard batteries with up to 20kWh capacity (with 8kW backup generator). These power systems electronically monitor features such as reverse-osmosis pumps, offering an \u201cendless\u201d water supply or, alternatively, atmospheric water-scouring devices producing up to 50L a day \u201cfrom thin air\u201d. Air conditioning is a given. For heating, there\u2019s onboard diesel units (with carbon monoxide detectors), battery-powered systems offering automatic five-zone comfort, and even under-floor options. There seems to be nothing in the average house that isn\u2019t available in one of these uber-vans.<\/p>\n
So is there a downside to life on the road? After decades owning a caravan, my wife\u2019s retired relatives Rob and Sue sold theirs four years ago. The end of Covid lockdowns saw the scene change. There was no more serendipitous travelling. Sites had to be booked well ahead as a flood of new, cashed-up travellers made ghost or double-site reservations. Sue and Rob would arrive at \u201cbooked-out\u201d parks to find them empty. Popular locations suddenly had five-year waiting lists. Site fees rose. Rob says they economised by using websites offering private lawns and paddocks. Then diesel prices shot up.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen we started vanning we\u2019d live like kings for $1,200 a week,\u201d Rob says. \u201cAfter Covid it cost us almost double that.\u201d For cheap holidays, Sue and Rob now have regular gigs house and pet-sitting interstate.<\/p>\n