{"id":754252,"date":"2026-06-23T03:59:14","date_gmt":"2026-06-23T03:59:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/754252\/"},"modified":"2026-06-23T03:59:14","modified_gmt":"2026-06-23T03:59:14","slug":"how-one-letter-gifted-cheryl-her-indigenous-identity-and-two-siblings","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/754252\/","title":{"rendered":"How one letter gifted Cheryl her Indigenous identity \u2014 and two siblings"},"content":{"rendered":"

Cheryl van Wageningen is a proud descendant of the Peramangk and Ngarrindjeri peoples in South Australia.<\/p>\n

But she only learnt of her heritage at the age of 35, when she received a letter in the mail informing her that she was Indigenous and had siblings who wanted to meet her.<\/p>\n

It set Cheryl on a journey of connecting to her culture and unravelling family history she had longed to know about.<\/p>\n

Warning: This story contains images of an Indigenous person who has died.<\/p>\n

These are Cheryl’s words.<\/p>\n

I was always asked why I have dark skin<\/p>\n

I was born Charmaine Dawn Hunter and adopted as Cheryl Dawn Elburn.<\/p>\n

I always knew I was adopted.<\/p>\n

When I was about three months old, the authorities thought it best for me to go into an institution called the Kate Cocks [Memorial] Babies’ Home, at Brighton in South Australia.<\/p>\n

That’s where a lady called Mrs Elburn was volunteering and she came home with me one day.<\/p>\n

I first found out that I was Aboriginal when I was 35, nearly 36.<\/p>\n

I came home from work one day and there was a letter there from an organisation called Link Up SA and it just really threw me.<\/p>\n

\"An<\/p>\n

Cheryl as a child, with her adoptive mother. (Supplied: Cheryl van Wageningen)<\/p>\n

It said that I had siblings, and that they wanted to contact me, and it was someone with Aboriginality.<\/p>\n

It was the mid-90s, I was married to my then-husband, I had my own children and out of the blue this letter turns up.<\/p>\n

It took myself and my whole family by surprise.<\/p>\n

I was always asked why I had dark skin. People thought I must be Greek or Polynesian, or Fijian or something like that.<\/p>\n

My adoptive mother had actually met my birth mother when I was little, but she never spoke about her being Aboriginal.<\/p>\n

If I asked questions, she would say “you’re our child now, you’re our daughter”.<\/p>\n

She was very loving and it was a very loving family, but it was never, ever spoken about.<\/p>\n

Finally, I’m going to get some answers<\/p>\n

I kept the letter for a couple of days and then I thought, “well, I’m going to ring the agency and find out what this is all about”.<\/p>\n

What to do when you get unexpected ancestry DNA test results<\/a><\/p>\n

Direct-to-consumer genetic testing kits are often given as gifts or purchased “as a bit of fun”, which means people often aren’t prepared to discover unexpected parents, siblings and other relatives.<\/p>\n

It was sort of comforting to think there was someone out there that, [who] maybe is related to me and could tell me some stories or fill in the gaps, so to speak.<\/p>\n

But it was also quite confronting, like, who are these people? What are they expecting?<\/p>\n

So I asked a few more questions to the people who sent out the letter, and they said, “it’s a younger sister; her name’s Mandy and she would like to meet with you”.<\/p>\n

We both had the same mother, but a different father.<\/p>\n

It was like looking into a mirror<\/p>\n

When I first laid eyes on Mandy, it was spooky.<\/p>\n

We almost had the same outfit on.<\/p>\n

We just hit it off and had so many things in common. We both played in a band, we both played piano.<\/p>\n

\"An<\/p>\n

Cheryl also met her brother, Michael. (Supplied: Cheryl van Wageningen)<\/p>\n

There were only 10 months’ difference between us and then also I found out that I had a younger brother, Michael.<\/p>\n

Michael was a good runner, and I was a runner also.<\/p>\n

There were all these family things that we enjoyed that we could have grown up enjoying, which is really sad when you think about it. Better late than never.<\/p>\n

We can now get together and just pick up where we left off.<\/p>\n

Could she be my mum?<\/p>\n

Mandy and Michael had also grown up in an adoptive family and had never met our mother or knew much about her.<\/p>\n

The lady at the adoption agency had told me: “Your mother has moved on, she’s married, she’s had a family of boys, and I don’t think she’s told her husband [about you].”<\/p>\n

Being the cycle-breaker in a family<\/a><\/p>\n

Motherhood has a way of making family patterns impossible to ignore. Suddenly you start asking questions you never asked before.<\/p>\n

I sort of accepted that, whereas my sister Mandy was quite determined to find out more and to meet her.<\/p>\n

So her and Michael, unbeknown to me, went and found Mum and they ended up seeing her and getting a photo taken with her.<\/p>\n

When they said the suburb that she lived in, I said, “oh my God, it’s only 2 kilometres away from me.”<\/p>\n

I didn’t really pursue it because in my mind she didn’t want to see me.<\/p>\n

But then you sit on a bus, or you go to the shops, and you sort of look at people and you think, could she be my mum?<\/p>\n

I used to do that when I was a little girl, too.<\/p>\n

As I grew older, I thought, “just bite the bullet and meet up with her”, but she had passed away, so that was really sad.<\/p>\n

It’s taken me a long time to be able to talk about it and process things. I just try to think of the positives.<\/p>\n

At least I’ve seen photos of her. I’ve met a lovely younger sister and younger brother and I’m learning more about my heritage.<\/p>\n

Connecting to my culture through music<\/p>\n

One of the things that was a revelation for me after finding out about my Peramangk and Ngarrindjeri heritage was learning that Ruby Hunter was one of our relations.<\/p>\n

I thought, wow, she was a powerful singer-songwriter.<\/p>\n

I never knew that I was related to someone like that.<\/p>\n

\"Cheryl<\/p>\n

Cheryl says she has used music to help connect with her culture. (Supplied: Cheryl van Wageningen)<\/p>\n

It inspired me to embrace my culture and try to find a way of expressing what I’m finding out through composing songs.<\/p>\n

My siblings and I are very passionate about reviving language, and I’ve actually been commissioned to do a piano composition that’s got some Peramangk and Ngarrindjeri language in it.<\/p>\n

Being the firstborn daughter of the firstborn daughter also has these cultural obligations.<\/p>\n

If we go somewhere I’ll do the Welcome or an Acknowledgement now.<\/p>\n

It has been very interesting finding out my position in Aboriginal identity.<\/p>\n

I have embraced it and so have my children.<\/p>\n

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