{"id":756238,"date":"2026-06-24T01:41:20","date_gmt":"2026-06-24T01:41:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/756238\/"},"modified":"2026-06-24T01:41:20","modified_gmt":"2026-06-24T01:41:20","slug":"australias-catch-up-culture-is-killing-connection-heres-how-to-fix-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/756238\/","title":{"rendered":"Australia\u2019s catch-up culture is killing connection \u2013 here\u2019s how to fix it."},"content":{"rendered":"

The slow demise of Australian \u2018mate-ship\u2019 is upon us, with as many as 40 per cent of Aussies<\/a> reporting moments of loneliness in a given week.<\/p>\n

A crisis of community has been quietly brewing in our backyard, with increasingly short windows of time allocated for connection. Aussie friendships<\/a> have officially succumbed to the \u2018catch-up trap\u2019 \u2013 and there\u2019s a clear culprit driving this unwelcome shift. <\/p>\n

\"Moody<\/p>\n

Traditional Aussie “mate-ship” is dying – and there’s one factor that’s driving it.\u00a0iStock<\/p>\n

Social \u2018scheduling\u2019 <\/p>\n

It\u2019s called social scheduling \u2212 and we\u2019re all guilty of it. <\/p>\n

Rather than living our lives alongside our friends, we instead find ourselves assigning them set timeslots; delivering life updates over overpriced flat whites and chicken parma pub feeds. <\/p>\n

Never making new memories \u2013 just keeping each other in the loop.<\/p>\n

Seemingly gone are the days of the spontaneous hangout, and as it turns out, there\u2019s a cultural element that may have had a hand in killing it.<\/p>\n

As most epiphanies do, it all began with three friends, a pub and a candid conversation. <\/p>\n

In a now-viral reel<\/a> posted by Aussie creator Aadhya Wije, she and her mates were shown discussing the possible cause behind the \u201cappointment friendship\u201d epidemic.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s not that my friends don\u2019t love me, it\u2019s that we\u2019re slaves to time,\u201d Wije stated.<\/p>\n

\u201cIn Sri Lanka, I had this mind-blowing experience where I messaged our group chat and said \u2018hey, Park Street tonight?\u2019\u201d She recalled.<\/p>\n

\"Two<\/p>\n

An Aussie creator has reflected on the difficulties of making plans with groups.\u00a0iStock<\/p>\n

\u201cThere are eight people in our group chat \u2013 seven people rocked up! When does that ever happen in any of my group chats here?\u201d<\/p>\n

It was then that the trio collectively identified a larger element at play than the individual. Enter: \u2018Monochronic culture.\u2019<\/p>\n

A concept in social anthropology coined by Edward T Hall<\/a>, \u2018Monochronic\u2019 and \u2018Polychronic\u2019 are terms used to describe how different cultures perceive, value and manage their time.<\/p>\n

Polychronic societies \u2013 the likes of Italy, France or South Asia \u2013 treat time as fluid, cyclical and relationship-centric. In these cultures, people often handle multiple tasks simultaneously and prioritise interpersonal connections over strict schedules or deadlines.<\/p>\n

\"Disposable<\/p>\n

Australia is defined as a ‘monochronic’ society – meaning our priorities lie in deadlines, schedules and punctuality over friendships.\u00a0iStock<\/p>\n

Monochronic regions such as the United States or Australia, meanwhile, view time as a linear, tangible resource to be strictly managed. In these cultures, we tend to focus on a one-task-at-a-time approach, with particular emphasis on schedules, deadlines and punctuality.<\/p>\n

The cost of being \u2018time-poor\u2019<\/p>\n

The\u00a0Real Relationships Report 2025<\/a> found one in two Australians have shrinking friendship circles, while nearly one in three currently feel socially isolated.<\/p>\n

University of Newcastle Sociologist Dr. Julia Cook cited Aussies\u2019 increasingly monochronic, time-poor approach as a key contributor to this. <\/p>\n

\u201cOur experience of time and our subjective view of time is accelerating,\u201d Cook said. \u201cTime is moving increasingly quickly. We\u2019re trying to cram an increasing number of things into it.\u201d<\/p>\n

She added that in the grand scheme of things, friendships often rank somewhere below family and work on our list of day-to-day priorities.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s an outcome of being so time poor in many ways \u2013 we squeeze in a quick coffee, or catch up after going to the gym.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"Young<\/p>\n

Aussies are notoriously time-poor, and what little free time we do have is often highly structured.\u00a0iStock<\/p>\n

It\u2019s here where Australia\u2019s stereotypically easy-going, slow-living facade begins to crumble.<\/p>\n

Contrary to the idea that we\u2019re all \u201crather laid back,\u201d Cook pointed out that we tend to work relatively long hours compared to similar OECD countries.<\/p>\n

According to OECD Labour Data<\/a>, the average Australian worker clocks around 1630 hours per year, placing us in the middle-to-high end of these rankings \u2013 above countries such as the UK, Germany and Japan.<\/p>\n

It happens to all of us…<\/p>\n

Admittedly, even I \u2013 who have spent only eight months in Australia thus far \u2013 am not entirely immune to its particular brand of hustle culture, and have seen a notable shift in my own approach to friendships since.<\/p>\n

There I sat, adding the finishing touches to this very article, as my phone buzzed: \u201cAll good for tonight?\u201d <\/p>\n

\"Text<\/p>\n

I’d been so preoccupied with work, that’d I’d completely forgotten my plans.\u00a0Charlotte Thieme<\/p>\n

And as it happened, no \u2013 I was not all good for tonight. Pub plans I\u2019d locked in two days prior had entirely slipped my mind.<\/p>\n

And therein lies the problem.<\/p>\n

As I sheepishly scrambled to reschedule said plans, the irony of my circumstances was certainly not lost on me.<\/p>\n

Reclaiming connection<\/p>\n

While easier said than done, breaking the Monochronic mould requires an intentional mindset shift, and an attempt to \u201cfit each other into the rhythms of our daily lives\u201d once more.<\/p>\n

Cook cited a return to so-called \u2018third spaces\u2019 \u2013 regular haunts outside of home and work \u2013 as supplementary to this, but admitted it was made more difficult by the \u201cdouble-edged sword\u201d that is digital connection.<\/p>\n

Australian legislation surrounding the \u201cright to disconnect,\u201d<\/a> she said, was a step in the right direction for reframing time allocation \u2013 and escaping the indefinite cycle of the catch-up trap.<\/p>\n

Introduced in 2024, the legislation in question allowed eligible employees to refuse after-hours contact from employers \u2013 within reason.<\/p>\n

This protection aimed to prevent mounting workloads and improve work-life balance; an initiative that Cook believes may be key to shifting our approach to friendships.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s space for a shift around the kind of culture of always being on, always being available,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

\u201c[The legislation] helps us to finish work and go and spend time with our friends without the possibility of being interrupted.\u201d<\/p>\n

Continued progress in this area, she said, would allow for a return to the simpler, organic hangouts that we build our lives around.<\/p>\n

To do groceries together, to pivot a mate\u2019s flat-pack wardrobe up their sharehouse staircase; it\u2019s from those small, in-between moments that more profound bonds are forged.<\/p>\n

But by treating time as a scarce commodity, we strip friendship of its organic nature. <\/p>\n

\u201cThat contributes to having fewer opportunities to live the substance of our lives together… with the everyday rhythms of what we\u2019re doing.\u201d<\/p>\n

When all is said and done, we must work to incorporate our inner circles into the messy, unfiltered, middle sections of our lives \u2013 rather than boxing them into the formal debrief at the end.<\/p>\n