TORONTO \u2014 About an hour after what may have been his final start in Toronto as a member of the Blue Jays, Kevin and Taylor Gausman, holding hands, walked onto the Rogers Centre field, found a spot up the left-field line, plopped down against the wall and talked.\u00a0<\/p>\n
The veteran right-hander\u2019s wife wasn\u2019t supposed to be in the city, and he didn\u2019t know she\u2019d flown in until he returned to the clubhouse following his outing and saw a picture from her on his phone. Partly due to in-season blinders, partly out of devotion to the club he\u2019s been such a vital part of the past five years, Gausman was trying to avoid thinking about a possibility that\u2019s increasingly set to become a reality.\u00a0<\/p>\n
In case Tuesday night was it, she didn\u2019t want to miss it.<\/p>\n
\u201cI didn\u2019t really want to go on the field, to be honest,\u201d Gausman told Sportsnet on Wednesday. \u201cShe just kind of told me, like, \u2018Hey, let’s go onto the field for a little while,\u2019 not really thinking too much of it, but now I’m glad we did. The biggest thing, I really hope that I’m able to come back here, at least next weekend, just like one last time.\u201d<\/p>\n
Whether Gausman gets that final hurrah \u2014 his turn next comes up Sunday at Fenway Park against the Boston Red Sox, followed by Aug. 1 against the visiting St. Louis Cardinals \u2014 is one of many difficult questions before the Blue Jays ahead of the trade deadline, all but certain to feature subtraction.<\/p>\n
The moments shared by the Gausmans on Tuesday night are reflective of the human toll that comes with that type of reset, with lives turned upside down, goals not met, clubhouse relationships severed, all often abruptly.<\/p>\n
As they sat on the field Tuesday night, they shared memories of their time in Toronto and felt gratitude, Gausman at one point saying to Taylor that they were lucky to have been at a place so long that they\u2019d be sad to leave. His free agency had come down to the Blue Jays and New York Mets, and he called coming north \u201cthe best decision I could have possibly made.\u201d<\/p>\n
It\u2019s been an eventful five years, Gausman signing a $110-million deal that expires after the season just before owners imposed a lockout Dec. 1, 2021, with another likely coming this off-season as that collective bargaining agreement ends. In between are three post-season appearances, an all-star selection, a trip to the World Series and countless lifelong memories, all of which make the thought of leaving so difficult, no matter how well he knows the harsh realities of asset management in the majors.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe problem is this place is so great,\u201d Gausman said during a separate conversation with Sportsnet and The Athletic. \u201cWhen you go other places, you risk it not being like that. That’s kind of where I’m at. I mean, I wouldn’t want to go anywhere if I’m being completely honest. I would love for us to turn this around, whether that’s post-season or whatever. I would like to finish my tenure here, like I set out to do when I signed here. But I also realize that it’s a business and there’s only so much you can control.\u201d<\/p>\n