You will almost certainly need to urinate during Christopher Nolan\u2019s epic. Do not make the same mistake I did, and sneak off after the big cyclops setpiece. You might assume that the plot will relax after this, but you will be wrong. If your cinema\u2019s toilet is as far from the screen as my cinema\u2019s, you will end up missing most of the Trojan Horse section. Much better would be to cling on until after the horse, because then you\u2019ll only miss the Laestrygonians. These are the giants depicted on the film\u2019s poster but you pretty much get the gist of the scene from the poster anyway.<\/p>\n
This feels bizarre to say, but do not go to the toilet at any point during the first half of this movie, because it is somehow the most lovingly observed tribute to the early days of Hollywood in recent years. It almost exclusively deals with the bumpy transition from silent films to talkies, with such carefully observed tenderness that it is genuinely quite moving. If you think that sounds a lot like Damien Chazelle\u2019s Babylon, then you would be right (including the elephant). However, since that film didn\u2019t have minions in it and this film does, this is better. Anyway, this element burns out after about an hour, at which point you can wee at will.<\/p>\n
Hold it \u2026 Toy Story 5. Photograph: Disney\/PA<\/p>\n
Plenty of choices here, depending on why you went to see the film in the first place. If you want to find yourself emotionally engaged with the heart of the film, then get up and go to the toilet whenever the army of Buzz Lightyears arrive on the screen. Until close to the very end, these scenes are just superfluous fan service that have no bearing whatsoever on the plot. However, if you went purely because you love superfluous fan service, then you should probably get up and go as soon as Jessie unearths the lunchbox full of Emily\u2019s memories, you heartless monster.<\/p>\n