{"id":836538,"date":"2026-07-31T22:19:23","date_gmt":"2026-07-31T22:19:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/836538\/"},"modified":"2026-07-31T22:19:23","modified_gmt":"2026-07-31T22:19:23","slug":"clicky-ponting-is-this-the-worst-thing-thats-happened-in-cricket-praise-the-lord-and-pass-the-sandpaper","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/836538\/","title":{"rendered":"Clicky Ponting: Is this the worst thing that\u2019s happened in cricket? Praise the Lord, and pass the sandpaper"},"content":{"rendered":"

August 1, 2026 \u2014 5:00am<\/p>\n

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Let\u2019s talk about \u201cClicky Ponting\u201d. You know the one. He\u2019s the amateur cricketer from Saltburn Cricket Club<\/a> in North Yorkshire, England, who was caught last week clicking his fingers as the ball passed the willow to fool the umpire into giving the batsman out.<\/p>\n

Yes, I\u2019d never thought of that practice either. But \u201cclick\u201d and \u201csnick\u201d do sound remarkably similar, when you think about it. And maybe it occasionally works in fooling the ears of 75-year-old umpires.<\/p>\n

In response, the world of the cricketer in question, Brian Devine, imploded<\/a>, as social media melted down; he was all but burnt at the stake, and Piers Morgan \u2013 a former News of the World editor, who defended phone hacking on the grounds that it was \u201can investigative practice that everyone knows was going on at almost every paper in Fleet Street for years\u201d \u2013 nearly burst a boiler saying \u201cClicky\u201d was no less than \u201cthe biggest cheat in cricket history.\u201d<\/p>\n

Yes mate, phone hacking is \u201can investigative practice\u201d, but this is the worst thing that\u2019s happened in cricket?<\/p>\n

The Sun itself was anguished, thundering, \u201cWe Abhor Cheats.\u201d<\/p>\n

In Australia, the reaction has not been quite as savage, but a couple of great cricket men of my circle were ropeable. Really? All this for a village cricketer who did what he shouldn\u2019t have oughta?<\/p>\n

It took Australia\u2019s own mob, satirical podcasters from The Grade Cricketer<\/a> \u2013 who glory in having \u201ccelebrated and benefited from the low-rent charm of club cricket\u2019s rich, dark underbelly, alongside hundreds of thousands of people around the world\u201d \u2013 to restore some sense of perspective.<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course, it would appear some members at Saltburn CC have engaged in comically sharp practice,\u201d they said in a statement offering their help to \u201cClicky\u201d to get legal representation and Saltburn financial assistance to replace lost sponsorship.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut sadly, when f—wits like Piers Morgan declare to millions that \u2018Clicky Ponting must be the biggest cheat in cricket history\u2019, all proportionality is lost, and we feel a brotherly obligation to support the club in that context.\u201d<\/p>\n

Exactly.<\/p>\n

Look, unlike the unfortunate batsmen sent to the far pavilions whence they came, \u201cClicky\u201d was genuinely caught out, and yes, of course he had to be punished. At last call, he\u2019s been suspended. You kids at home, please don\u2019t try this, as it is not in the spirit of the game.<\/p>\n

But, geez, Louise! The Grade Cricketer is right \u2013 a sense of proportion, please!<\/p>\n

Isn\u2019t it more in the field of \u201cextreme gamesmanship\u201d than actual \u2013 praise the Lord, and pass the sandpaper \u2013 call-the-cops cheating?<\/p>\n

You know, extreme gamesmanship. Isn\u2019t that what we Australians have specialised in?<\/p>\n

\"CameronCameron Bancroft and Steve Smith fess up after getting caught red-handed in Cape Town in 2018.Getty Images<\/p>\n

Like sledging, or \u201cmental disintegration\u201d if you will. Like bowling the ball underarm. Like bowlers putting Brylcreem on one side of the ball to make it swing more. Like batters refusing to walk even when they know they\u2019re out because, you know, if they can fool the umpire into making the wrong decision, that\u2019s cricket. \u201cClicky Ponting\u201d did wrong, but if Sandpapergate was 95\/100 on the Richter scale of cheating, Clicky was a 10\/100.<\/p>\n

New year, same old story<\/p>\n

Uncanny. See what you think of this as an opener for a column on the Adam Doueihi saga, in which the Tiger, Tiger burning bright hid his bushel under a candle last week and decline to play after a blue with his coach. Here I go:<\/p>\n

\"TigersTigers coach Benji Marshall had another challenging week. Steven Siewert<\/p>\n

Well, THAT was #awkward …<\/p>\n

See, if you\u2019re Tigers coach Benji Marshall and hang your hat on the claim that the \u201cbest thing for the team\u201d is to drop one of the two best players you\u2019ve got \u2013 and proceed to get nearly 40 points scored against you by the lowest-ranked team in the comp, you\u2019ve got a case to answer.<\/p>\n

Yes, you have, Benji. <\/p>\n

So, for the hell of it, let me make the case. I say that in terms of fluster-clucks, there was the Hindenburg, there was Chernobyl and \u2026 there was the Tigers\u2019 management of this whole sad affair over the past 10 days.<\/p>\n

\"AdamAdam Doueihi and Benji Marshall say they\u2019ve sorted everything out.Steven Siewert<\/p>\n

Oh, do calm down.<\/p>\n

The defenders of Benji \u2013 many of whom I know to be good people, and this is nothing personal \u2013 have a fairly standard narrative for the whole Doueihi saga, and you can see it replicated on social media, tens of thousands of times over, albeit with vicious epithets about Doueihi added.<\/p>\n

My point?<\/p>\n

All of the above was written last year as my opener for a rant on the Lachie Galvin saga, which also happened mid-season. I just changed \u201cGalvin\u201d to \u201cDoueihi\u201d, and Robert was my father\u2019s brother.<\/p>\n

Get it? Exactly the same. Different year. All the plans, all the carry on, all the promises have come to precisely nothing. It\u2019s just that now they\u2019re worse. This time last year, give or take, the Tigers\u2019 four best players were Doueihi, Galvin, Jarome Luai and Api Koroisau. Of them, Koroisau will likely be the last man standing next season.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s a disaster. Just as I said it would be. For this is how I finished my column last year:<\/p>\n

Where to from here? It\u2019ll go like this:<\/p>\n

Galvin will be released because they have little choice to avoid debilitating litigation.<\/p>\n

The Tigers will collapse, and it will be another season shot.<\/p>\n

More and more people will come to the conclusion that Marshall is like just about every other great football player \u2013 the magic of their playing days is non-transferable to their coaching.<\/p>\n

Another perspective\"Adam<\/a><\/p>\n

At this point, Tigers management will be left contemplating their own insanity in putting the previously untested Marshall on a five-year contract when they had to pay out their last two coaches before their contractual terms were completed.<\/p>\n

And then, in the smoking ruins of a Tigers team heading for another wooden spoon in the cutlery drawer, we can all see if Luai\u2019s \u201cteam first\u201d mantra still holds, or he will activate the get-out clause in his contract, and indeed get out.<\/p>\n

I would.<\/p>\n

He did.<\/p>\n

Same shit. Different year.<\/p>\n

County Mayo break 75-year curse<\/p>\n

Ain\u2019t sport grand? And it is never grander than when it is tribal.<\/p>\n

Two teams of hugely skilled players going at it, for all the bikkies? But two tribes going at it for the bikkies, with both tribes watching, and the rest of the nation besides \u2013 that is great. And all the more so when one of those teams hasn\u2019t won in the last \u2013 dot three, carry one, subtract two \u2013 75 years!<\/p>\n

\"MayoMayo captain Jack Coyne and his teammates celebrate victory – and breaking the curse – in the All-Ireland final.Getty Images<\/p>\n

A case in point this week was when County Mayo took on Kerry in the grand final of the All Ireland Gaelic football championship.<\/p>\n

Therein lay a wonderful story \u2026<\/p>\n

See, the last time Mayo won was in 1951 and, so the story goes, as they were heading home after the match, they happened to pass a funeral in Foxford without paying their respects, causing the carpet-biting mad priest to unleash a curse: \u201cFor as long as you all live, Mayo won\u2019t win another all-Ireland.\u201d<\/p>\n

And he wasn\u2019t joking.<\/p>\n

A decade ago, they still hadn\u2019t won, so the team\u2019s last surviving member, Paddy Prendergast, told friends he\u2019d be happy to \u201croll over and die\u201d to break the curse if he thought there was truth to it. But he didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere was supposed to have been a funeral in the local church; I don\u2019t know whether there was or not. I saw people standing around the church, but we didn\u2019t get off the truck because we couldn\u2019t get off the bloody truck,\u201d he told an interviewer in 2017.<\/p>\n

Maybe though, they could win in 2021, when they made the grand final \u2013 to prove it a myth?<\/p>\n

Not a bit of it. They got dusted, and Prendergast died two weeks later.<\/p>\n

Last weekend, though? Last weekend, they had again made the final, and all of Ireland was watching the All-Ireland to see if the curse from this turbulent priest could finally be laid to rest.<\/p>\n

This time, they won! And the footage is fabulous.<\/p>\n

My guess is they watched out for funerals on the way home.<\/p>\n

Quotes of the week<\/p>\n

Lachlan Kennedy, on taking silver at the Commonwealth Games in Glasgow, with the stunning time: \u201c9.85 is crazy. Like, that\u2019s nuts. I don\u2019t plan on slowing down … I\u2019m happy to be able to say I\u2019ve run that, got that Australian record finally. It was about time.\u201d<\/p>\n

Kennedy again after finishing behind Cameroon\u2019s Emmanuel Eseme: \u201cI thought I won. Old mate must have come flying through on the inside … But I mean, man, I can\u2019t complain. I saw second place and thought, \u2018Damn!\u2019 Then I saw the time and was like, \u2018Oh! Let\u2019s go!\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

\"LachlanLachlan Kennedy and his newly minted Australian record.Getty Images<\/p>\n

English swimmer Adam Ramsay-Peaty after his 100m breaststroke bronze in Glasgow: \u201cI\u2019m crying … I\u2019m like: \u2018What\u2019s the point of all the 5.30am starts? What\u2019s the point of being exhausted all the time? What\u2019s the point of having to say no to family events because you\u2019re training?\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

The Irish Times on the result of the All-Ireland Gaelic football final: \u201cMayo 1-20, Kerry 1-17. Chisel it on the gravestones, scribble it in the sky. Croke Park untethered, the whole place afloat for an hour on a lake of the sweetest tears that were ever cried.\u201d <\/p>\n

Ryan Fox on winning the British Open<\/a>: \u201cI have a big line-up of mates who are keen to drink something out of the Claret Jug. Dad is keen to do the same, a rugby tradition is drinking out of trophies. I may only get one chance with it so it feels like I should show it off and take it around. I want to enjoy this as much as possible. I think my life is going to be a bit different in New Zealand now but that is all part of this.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"RyanRyan Fox kisses the Claret Jug after winning the British Open.AP<\/p>\n

Oscar Piastri dealing with backmarker Carlos Sainz in the Hungarian Grand Prix: \u201cIs he f—ing stupid or what? Get out of the f—ing way, you idiot! Oh my god. Oh mate, just don\u2019t f—ing talk to me now.\u201d
Former NRL player Luke Bateman on gambling away all his money: \u201cI was in so much debt \u2026 I was earning $400,000 a year, and I couldn\u2019t afford a lollipop.\u201d<\/p>\n

New Germany football manager Jurgen Klopp reading the media the riot act in his first press conference: \u201cIf you behave badly and don\u2019t leave my family in peace then I\u2019ll be gone, I\u2019ll just turn away.\u201d Jurgen Klopp will be done here, do you hear?<\/p>\n

Senator David Pocock, in a senate hearing on the PNG Chiefs: \u201cThe Australian people are paying for this franchise. Now we are essentially being asked to provide a tax exemption for players to earn tax- free money playing in PNG. What evidence did the NRL provide to the Australian government that a tax exemption was necessary for the PNG franchise to be viable?\u201d <\/p>\n

Related Article\"Photos<\/a>Team of the week<\/p>\n

Clicky Ponting. A man who needs no introduction from me.<\/p>\n

Roosters. Bloody hell. Beat the Cowboys 82-12. Du jamais vu!<\/p>\n

Storm and Broncos. It was 2005 when both the previous season\u2019s grand finalists last missed the finals.<\/p>\n

Bodhana Sivanandan. The 11-year-old English girl is a chess star in the making, breaking the world record for the youngest to defeat a grandmaster rated above 2600.<\/p>\n

Tadej Pogacar. Won his fifth Tour de France. Is it just me or has that race lost a tiny bit of mojo, maybe since Lance Armstrong was proven to have flecks of urine in his drugs?<\/p>\n

Australia and Ireland. Meet at North Sydney Oval today<\/a> in the AFLW international.<\/p>\n

Justin Greaves. West Indian took five wickets without conceding a run in an incredible five-over spell of bowling. No clicking was involved \u2013 I checked.<\/p>\n

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\"PeterPeter FitzSimons<\/a> is a journalist and columnist with The Sydney Morning Herald.Connect via X<\/a>.From our partners<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"August 1, 2026 \u2014 5:00am Save You have reached your maximum number of saved items. Remove items from…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":836539,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[564],"tags":[64,63,740,85],"class_list":["post-836538","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-cricket","tag-au","tag-australia","tag-cricket","tag-sports"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/836538","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=836538"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/836538\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/836539"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=836538"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=836538"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=836538"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}