Every time a celebrity appears to lose weight, the same debate begins. Some people say we shouldn\u2019t comment on another person\u2019s body. Others argue staying silent ignores the possibility that someone may be struggling. <\/p>\n
So when does genuine concern become harmful scrutiny?<\/p>\n
It\u2019s a question many people have been asking following recent public discussion about singer Ariana Grande\u2019s appearance. <\/p>\n
Today Grande announced<\/a> she will be \u201ctaking a step back from visibility\u201d after her current tour, saying recent public appearances had led to \u201cendless, ongoing public scrutiny\u201d.<\/p>\n Grande hasn\u2019t said this relates to her weight or to an eating disorder, and it would be inappropriate to speculate about her health. But the discussion raises an important question that extends far beyond celebrities.<\/p>\n I\u2019m a clinical psychologist and academic who has spent more than 20 years researching and working with people experiencing eating disorders. <\/p>\n Here\u2019s what I\u2019ve found about the difference between scrutiny and concern \u2013 and why the difference matters when you\u2019re worried someone might have an eating disorder.<\/p>\n Scrutiny focuses on bodies, concern focuses on people<\/p>\n Scrutiny begins with appearance, while concern begins with wellbeing. Scrutiny asks, \u201cWhat does this person look like?\u201d Concern asks, \u201cHow is this person coping?\u201d<\/p>\n When we publicly analyse someone\u2019s body, we\u2019re making assumptions about their health based on appearance alone. Yet you cannot tell if someone has an eating disorder simply by looking at someone. Eating disorders occur across all body sizes<\/a>, ages, genders and backgrounds. Many people experiencing serious eating disorders are never underweight. <\/p>\n Likewise, weight loss can occur for many reasons, including physical illness, medication, grief, stress or other life circumstances. Appearance alone simply doesn\u2019t tell us enough.<\/p>\n Why public speculation can do more harm than good<\/p>\n Many people defend comments about a celebrity\u2019s appearance by saying they\u2019re simply expressing concern. <\/p>\n But concern doesn\u2019t require thousands of strangers discussing someone\u2019s body online. Public speculation can become deeply personal, intrusive and impossible to escape. It can also have unintended consequences for everyone else watching.<\/p>\n Research shows<\/a> stigma surrounding eating disorders remains a major barrier to seeking help. Many people delay treatment because of shame, fear of judgement and misconceptions about what an eating disorder looks like. <\/p>\n Weight stigma itself contributes to<\/a> body dissatisfaction, disordered eating and poorer mental health. <\/p>\n So public conversations that repeatedly evaluate people\u2019s bodies may inadvertently reinforce exactly the problems we hope to prevent.<\/p>\n If you\u2019re worried about someone<\/p>\n Before saying anything, ask yourself: am I commenting on this person\u2019s body, or am I checking in on the person? That shift, from appearance to wellbeing, can completely change how your concern is received.<\/p>\n If you\u2019re worried about someone you know, try shifting your attention away from their body and towards changes in their wellbeing, or behaviours you\u2019ve noticed.<\/p>\n Perhaps they seem withdrawn. Maybe they\u2019ve stopped joining family meals, become increasingly anxious around food, started exercising compulsively, or no longer seem interested in activities they once enjoyed.<\/p>\n Rather than saying: \u201cYou\u2019ve become so thin\u201d, try saying: \u201cI\u2019ve noticed you don\u2019t seem like yourself lately. How are you going?\u201d or \u201cI\u2019m worried about you because you don\u2019t seem yourself. Is there anything you\u2019d like to talk about?\u201d <\/p>\n This small change makes a big difference.<\/p>\n If someone tells you they are struggling, resist the urge to become their therapist or convince them they have an eating disorder. Instead, listen. Thank them for trusting you. The goal isn\u2019t to diagnose someone: it\u2019s to let them know they matter.<\/p>\n Encourage them to speak with their GP or another health professional experienced in eating disorders. The Butterfly Foundation provides excellent resources<\/a> for families and friends who want to know how to have these conversations well.<\/p>\n It\u2019s also important to have these conversation privately when you are alone with the person rather than in front of others so you don\u2019t further stigmatise the person and the issue. People are more likely to be open and calm when a conversation is held in a private, respectful manner. <\/p>\n Looking after yourself<\/p>\n If you have an eating disorder, or are recovering from one, the current media discussion may feel overwhelming. It\u2019s OK to step away. Limit your exposure to social media discussions and comment sections. Curate your online environment. <\/p>\n Spend time with people who value you for who you are rather than how you look.<\/p>\n