![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/GettyImages-883054238-dac8.jpg\")
\n\t\tSophie\u2019s mum\u2019s health has deteriorated recently (Picture: Getty Images)<\/p>\n
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\n\t\tSophie\u2019s mum\u2019s health has deteriorated recently (Picture: Getty Images)<\/p>\n
A lasting power of attorney allows someone trusted to manage bills, speak to\u00a0banks\u00a0and make decisions when a relative can\u2019t manage alone.\u00a0<\/p>\n
It also gives that person access to somebody else\u2019s money \u2014 which in many cases, can be a recipe for family arguments and fractured trust<\/a>.<\/p>\n This week\u2019s Money Problem<\/a>, from Sophie, shows just how complicated it can become when siblings share power of attorney for an elderly parent\u2019s affairs.<\/p>\n Worried her sister is misusing the responsibility, the 53-year-old, from Buckinghamshire, asked Metro consumer champion, Sarah Davidson, for an outside perspective.\u00a0<\/p>\n The problem\u2026\u00a0<\/p>\n My dad died last year and since then my mum, who is 86, has been struggling.\u00a0Her health has deteriorated over the past nine months.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n Because she is not computer or phone savvy and is pretty much unable to talk to people on the phone because of her hearing issues, my sister and I decided it would be best to get power of attorney<\/a> over her bank accounts and her health because she simply cannot cope.\u00a0<\/p>\n My dad\u2019s probate finally went\u00a0through\u00a0and Mum now has about \u00a355,000 in the shared account they had and about \u00a340,000 in her personal one.\u00a0<\/p>\n I recently noticed my sister has been taking out the very precise sum of \u00a3150 from one of the accounts each month since the power of attorney went through at the start of the year.\u00a0<\/p>\n \t\t I sent her a text asking what this was for and she replied it was for cleaning Mum\u2019s clothes, petrol<\/a> to and from her house, bringing round food she occasionally makes and buying her favourite chocolate bars.\u00a0<\/p>\n \t\t\t\t\tAsk Metro<\/p>\n Use AI to go deeper into the stories you care about \u2013 powered by Metro and trusted publications.<\/p>\n I think this\u00a0is hugely out of order. Shouldn\u2019t\u00a0these things be done without expecting payment?\u00a0After all, she is my sister\u2019s elderly, infirm mum. Some things should be based on love, without any payment.\u00a0<\/p>\n I do not want to suggest it is\u00a0fraud\u00a0but I may have to. What should my next step be?\u00a0<\/p>\n The answer\u2026\u00a0<\/p>\n This is a tricky situation for sure.\u00a0You have lost your father, you are trying to protect a vulnerable\u00a0mother\u00a0and you have discovered \u00a3150 leaving her account every month without an agreed explanation.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n That would make most people\u00a0uneasy,\u00a0but I would not call it fraud just yet.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n \t\t\t\t\tWhat do you think Sophie should do?<\/p>\n Confront her sister and demand an explanation.Check<\/p>\n Involve the rest of the family to discuss a solution.Check<\/p>\n Seek advice from legal or financial authorities.Check<\/p>\n Trust her sister’s explanation and let it go.Check<\/p>\n \t\t\t\t\tSign up to Metro’s The Slice newsletter for your guide to what’s on in London, with trusted reviews, offers and giveaways.<\/p>\n The fact that your sister is caring for your mother does not mean she must fund every mile of petrol, every\u00a0meal\u00a0or every practical expense herself.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n The Office of the Public Guardian recognises that family members often provide care unpaid, while in other cases a payment can be in the person\u2019s best interests because it enables care to continue.\u00a0<\/p>\n The key issue is whether\u00a0your sister\u00a0has the authority to pay herself from your mother\u2019s money and whether the payments are transparent, necessary and properly recorded.\u00a0<\/p>\n At \u00a3150 a month, this adds up to \u00a31,800 a year. Your mother has around \u00a395,000 in capital, which may sound like a comfortable cushion today, but it could become\u00a0very important\u00a0if her care needs increase.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n Every pound must therefore be spent for her benefit, not treated as an informal family allowance.\u00a0<\/p>\n Start by reading the actual lasting powers of attorney<\/a>, not relying on what either of you remembers.\u00a0You need to\u00a0establish\u00a0whether you were appointed to act jointly or jointly and severally.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n If you act jointly, you must make every decision together.\u00a0If you act jointly and severally, your sister can make some decisions\u00a0alone\u00a0but she is still under the same duty to act in your mother\u2019s best interests and to keep records.\u00a0<\/p>\n \t\t The Government\u2019s guidance is clear: an attorney can claim genuine expenses which they have had to incur in carrying out the role, such as travel,\u00a0postage\u00a0or phone calls.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n They should keep receipts and invoice the person whose money they are managing.\u00a0That means petrol for a specific trip made because your mother needs it may be a legitimate expense.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n A fixed \u00a3150 transfer that covers a mixture of travel, food,\u00a0laundry\u00a0and chocolate is much harder to justify without a written breakdown.\u00a0<\/p>\n There is an even more important distinction. If your sister is being paid for the\u00a0care\u00a0she personally gives your mother, she has a conflict of interest.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n The Office of the Public Guardian\u2019s guidance says that where an attorney provides care and takes a payment, they should seek authorisation from the Court of Protection.\u00a0It is not enough to decide the amount alone and transfer it from the donor\u2019s account.\u00a0<\/p>\n Your mother does not need to have dementia for this to matter. Mental capacity is\u00a0decision-specific.\u00a0If she can understand,\u00a0retain, weigh\u00a0up\u00a0and communicate a decision about a monthly payment to your sister, she should be involved.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n With her hearing difficulties, that may mean a calm face-to-face conversation, a written explanation in plain English and enough time to consider it.\u00a0<\/p>\n Her wishes matter.<\/p>\n \t\t\t\tMore Metro Money Problems\t\t\t<\/p>\n Your next step should be a proper meeting rather than another text exchange.\u00a0<\/p>\n Ask your sister to pause any further self-payments while you both review the arrangement.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n Be clear that you are not asking her to stop buying necessities for your mother. You are asking for receipts, a log of the hours and tasks involved and an explanation of whether the \u00a3150 is intended as expense reimbursement or payment for care.\u00a0<\/p>\n Then agree a simple system.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n Your mother\u2019s accounts should have a shared record of major spending. Genuine expenses should be claimed at cost, supported by receipts.\u00a0<\/p>\n If ongoing care from your sister is needed, seek advice before setting a rate, and consider a care needs assessment through your local authority.\u00a0That will help you work out what support your mother\u00a0actually needs\u00a0and whether a formal care arrangement is\u00a0appropriate.\u00a0<\/p>\n If your sister refuses to provide records, continues taking money without agreement or you believe she is\u00a0benefiting\u00a0herself at your mother\u2019s expense, then you can report your concern to the Office of the Public Guardian.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n Anyone can report a concern and the OPG can investigate where the person lacks capacity.\u00a0It can request information, take legal\u00a0action\u00a0and apply to the Court of Protection.\u00a0<\/p>\n The best outcome here is to put clear rules around\u00a0your mum\u2019s\u00a0money now, while there is still enough trust left to protect both her finances and your family.\u00a0<\/p>\n Do you have a story you\u2019d like to share? Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@metro.co.uk<\/p>\n Arrow Arrow Arrow![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/GettyImages-2206218341-8488.jpg\")
\n\t\tThe siblings disagree on what\u2019s right (Picture: Getty Images)<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/GettyImages-1944763650-772b.jpg\")
\n\t\tIt\u2019s important they check the official documents (Picture: Getty Images)<\/p>\n
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