<\/p>\n
Forget kerb appeal \u2014 Aussie neighbourhoods now come with a hostile air force.<\/p>\n
And it was a high pitched scream that alerted me, followed by a single word: run!<\/p>\n
Then I saw it \u2013 a council sign that reads less like advice and more like survival instructions for anyone brave enough to check the letterbox.<\/p>\n
\u201cNative birds nesting and swooping,\u201d it says, before rolling out a list of precautions that would not look out of place on a Smarttraveller.gov.au high risk country alert.<\/p>\n
It read: <\/p>\n
\u2013 seek an alternative route <\/p>\n
\u2013 protect your eyes and face by wearing a hat and sunglasses or carrying an unbrella<\/p>\n
\u2013 bike riders please dismount and walk<\/p>\n
\u2013 walk quickly through the area but don\u2019t run<\/p>\n
\u2013 remain calm; injuries occur when people panic or run from a swooping bird<\/p>\n
\u2013 don\u2019t wave your arms, yell or throw objects at the bird; this will likely make the bird more aggressive.<\/p>\n
At that point, you\u2019re not reading local signage. <\/p>\n
You\u2019re reading a property disclosure for a war zone with established trees.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Suburban airstrikes are back<\/p>\n
Magpie Alert! <\/a>\u2013 created by Sydney web developer Jon Clark following his own encounter with a magpie in 2013 \u2013 has logged a fresh wave of reports from Australians in recent weeks, ranging from aggressive fly-bys to full-blown aerial ambushes. <\/p>\n Some are genuinely unnerving. Some are so dramatic they deserve their own mini-series.<\/p>\n And no state or territory is safe, but it would appear the kamikaze crew have a particular hatred for Victorians, with Magpie Alert! data recording 30 per cent of incidents occurring there.<\/p>\n Nowhere is safe. Time to build a bunker. Map: Magpie Alert!<\/p>\n One Victorian reported a rematch with a bird they thought had retired from service.<\/p>\n \u201cHe was very aggressive in his swooping without touching me,\u201d the walker wrote.<\/p>\n \u201cHis flight was like that of a jet fighter in a dog fight.<\/p>\n \u201cI had to then walk about 20m backwards to ensure he didn\u2019t swoop again.<\/p>\n \u201cHis territory is quite small (30x15m) as he doesn\u2019t worry about people on the soccer pitches or netball courts.<\/p>\n \u201cI thought he had disappeared, as the last time I got swooped in this exact spot was three years ago, but no, he is back.\u201d<\/p>\n That\u2019s not a casual wildlife encounter. That\u2019s a long-running feud.<\/p>\n Magpie incidents 2026 Magpie Alerts<\/p>\n In Queensland, another local described what can only be called a near-miss operation.<\/p>\n A magpie \u201cgot close and definitely looked like swooping\u201d but aborted the mission.<\/p>\n \u201cI had a feeling that I saw a nest and decided to stay alert as I rode through the park, then I hear a swoosh then magpie noises and knew it was time to start riding faster,\u201d they wrote.<\/p>\n A tactical retreat. Sensible. Mature. Entirely Australian.<\/p>\n Queensland has accounted for 21.8 per cent of reports so far this swooping season, with NSW a close third with 21.5 per cent.<\/p>\n But it would appear that the feathered fiends do not care for the taste of those living in South Australia (7.5%), Western Australia (1.1%) and the Northern Territory and Tasmania (0.1%).<\/p>\n Back in Victoria, the campaign appears to have expanded, with multiple magpies reportedly targeting dogs near a dog park.<\/p>\n \u201cMultiple magpies in the trees particularly at the back of the dog park which will swoop down on dogs that run near them,\u201d wrote Jonny the Pommy.<\/p>\n \u201cOnly swooped dogs and not humans. No injuries.\u201d<\/p>\n Even the magpies, it seems, have a preferred demographic.<\/p>\n MORE: George Clooney\u2019s Aussie home base sells for $24m<\/a><\/p>\n Lawyer\u2019s warning to unmarried couples moving in together<\/a><\/p>\n Iconic Aussie holiday hotspots sold in huge $146m deal<\/a><\/p>\n Then there\u2019s New South Wales, where one report has named their alleged aggressor Bruce.<\/p>\n And really, that tells you everything you need to know.<\/p>\n Not every Bruce is here for a quiet life. Springsteen may have been anti-war, but this Bruce appears fully committed to the campaign.<\/p>\n In the ACT, it wasn\u2019t just a sneaky swoop. There was full-blown side eye.<\/p>\n \u201cRiding bike, he was sitting on a branch at eye level eyeing me off as I rode past his post,\u201d the report said.<\/p>\n \u201cThen with my back turned he went for it and gave a few chasing swoops to send me on my way. <\/p>\n \u201cFirst swoop by maggie for me so far this season. Was probably the same one as last year. \u201cThey seem to like putting their nest right over the path here.\u201d<\/p>\n Number of Aussies per state who ride to work and must now add tactical armour to their attire. Source: ABS<\/p>\n One minute you\u2019re taking a stroll through a perfectly pleasant suburban street. <\/p>\n The next, you\u2019re moving at pace with an umbrella over your head, trying not to make eye contact with a bird that has decided you\u2019re no longer welcome in your own postcode.<\/p>\n It\u2019s enough to make you wonder whether \u201cclose to parks and native birdlife\u201d should come with an asterisk.<\/p>\n Or maybe just heed the lesson from the Bluey episode Curry Quest and paint eyes on the back of your head.<\/p>\n In the Bluey episode Curry Quest, Bandit and Bingo paint eyes on the back of their heads to deter a territorial magpie Picture: Supplied<\/p>\n You will only look slightly less ridiculous than a cyclist with 27 zip ties attached to their helmet.<\/p>\n Bluey Curry Quest, Season 3<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Forget kerb appeal \u2014 Aussie neighbourhoods now come with a hostile air force. And it was a high…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":900994,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[64,63,44],"class_list":["post-900993","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-australia","tag-au","tag-australia","tag-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/900993","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=900993"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/900993\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/900994"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=900993"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=900993"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=900993"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}<\/p>\n
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