\u201cWhat to Remember When You Are Forgetting<\/a>: How to Thrive with Memory Loss, Alzheimer\u2019s, and Other Dementias,\u201d is packed with insights from more than two decades of practice and research. <\/p>\nEvery type of memory loss, at every stage of the disease, is thoroughly explained. <\/p>\n
We all forget things, at every age. Where did I leave my keys? Where are my glasses? What was the title of that book, or that movie, or the name of the familiar actor in the leading role?<\/p>\n
But which things are normal forgetting, associated with aging, and which things are signs of trouble?<\/p>\n
\u201cPausing mid-sentence to recall a name or word may seem worrisome to some, but for most people it\u2019s just a sign of normal cognitive aging,\u201d Tan writes. \u201cDelay in information retrieval, such as the name of an acquaintance, a movie, or a famous person, becomes more common as one gets older and does not necessarily signal an underlying memory problem.\u201d<\/p>\n
But if you forget the name of a good friend or relative, Tan wrote, or you begin \u201cforgetting common words such as watch or knife…the suspicion of a cognitive problem becomes higher.\u201d<\/p>\n
Tan told me he wanted to help readers determine \u201cwhen it\u2019s the right time to seek help and when it\u2019s the right time to not worry about it.\u201d But for those who do need help, an early evaluation is key to effective treatment or to identify reversible causes of memory problems.<\/p>\n
\u201cConditions such as depression, lack of sleep, a low-functioning thyroid, and vitamin B12 deficiency can lead to memory loss that mimic the early stages of dementia,\u201d Tan writes.<\/p>\n
At its worst, cognitive impairment can be a horrible, life-altering disease for patient and loved ones. In my last conversation with my mother, she abruptly announced that she didn\u2019t know who I was and asked me to leave the room. A year ago I lost a friend who would smile through a conversation and show faint signs of recognition, but then forget about the visit the next day.<\/p>\n
![\"a](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/1790305117_706_.jpeg\")
<\/p>\n
Dr. Zaldy Tan spends a warm moment with Jessie, 84, who suffers from vascular dementia.<\/p>\n
(Genaro Molina\/Los Angeles Times)<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know too many people whose lives have not been touched by memory loss or dementia in some way,\u201d Tan told me before examining Jessie, who is at a moderately advanced stage of the disease.<\/p>\n
His book is filled with detailed accounts of patients who responded in different ways to their diagnosis. There\u2019s Ed, for instance (Tan changed patient names for his book), a screenwriter and director who slept late, isolated himself from the world, skipped meals and \u201cconfessed that he preferred to stay home because he would be embarrassed to bump into an old friend or colleague and fail to recognize them.\u201d<\/p>\n
And then there\u2019s Pearl, a former nurse Tan had diagnosed, three years earlier, with mild cognitive impairment.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019d worried she might spiral into despair over her memory loss,\u201d Tan wrote. \u201cInstead, she took to the skies and seas. … Her calendar is packed with travel plans with friends and family for the next 18 months. \u2026 Besides traveling, she\u2019s taking piano lessons, learning Italian, and ballroom dancing. \u2026 In her free time, she volunteers as a docent in the \u2026 Getty Museum.\u201d<\/p>\n
Jessie was living in Texas until her condition worsened, and Lamar took her mother into her home in West L.A.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ve learned more about my mother … than I knew about her ever in life,\u201d Lamar told Tan. She said she had taken her mother to Disneyland a while back, and her mother enjoyed watching the parades in person, but also enjoys videos of Disney parades. And she loves talking about her granddaughter, Hannah.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf that little girl knew how much I use her name,\u201d Lamar told Tan. \u201cHannah wants you to take your medicine. Hannah wants you to relax.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re doing the right thing in terms of replaying the good memories,\u201d Tan said.<\/p>\n
![\"A](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/1790305118_366_.jpeg\")
<\/p>\n
Dr. Zaldy Tan asks patient Jessie to identify animals on his chart at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center.<\/p>\n
(Genaro Molina \/ Los Angeles Times)<\/p>\n
Lamar had brought a bag of fresh blueberries to her mother\u2019s appointment with Tan. First Lamar fed Jessie the blueberries, and then Tan took over. Jessie told Lamar that she\u2019d like to eat some butter beans and cornbread later on. Her memories of favorite foods has remained intact, like images preserved in a dusty family album.<\/p>\n
At the end of his book, Tan paints a beautiful picture of a visit to his parents\u2019 home near Eaton Canyon. He notes that his mother is still healthy in her mid-80s, but lost two sisters to dementia. He writes about the January 2025 fire that spared his parents\u2019 home but destroyed so many others, along with native vegetation and lovingly planted gardens.<\/p>\n
\u201cAlzheimer\u2019s and other forms of dementia start as a tiny spark, sending embers to land on random, unsuspecting people,\u201d Tan writes. In his parents\u2019 yard, he spots \u201ca fresh, red-barked branch shooting out of the scorched manzanita \u2014 a sign of life returning.\u201d<\/p>\n
He reflects on the many patients he has helped navigate the advancing haze.<\/p>\n
\u201cI see them, and tip my hat to all people like them who are living life to the fullest while holding on to the best of their fading memories. Memories may fade, relationships may change, people may leave, but the heart never forgets.\u201d<\/p>\n
steve.lopez@latimes.com<\/a> <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Dr. Zaldy Tan, author of a new book with profound insights into aging, memory loss and resilience, was…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":904481,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[34],"tags":[472629,64,63,9757,137,500,191,100871,44853,472630,16645,6988,43508,3727,1294,2951,133535,34256,1547],"class_list":["post-904480","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-healthcare","tag-adai-lamar","tag-au","tag-australia","tag-dementia","tag-health","tag-healthcare","tag-home","tag-memory-loss","tag-mother","tag-mother-jessie","tag-name","tag-new-book","tag-parent","tag-patient","tag-risk","tag-sign","tag-tan","tag-thing","tag-year"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/904480","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=904480"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/904480\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/904481"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=904480"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=904480"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=904480"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
![\"Dr.](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/09\/1790305116_320_.jpeg\")
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