Relying on AI is bad, Sam tells the Guardian, adding he would rather begin dating in person, but there is a \u201cparadigm shift in dating that\u2019s occurring, which is really odd, where everything is expected to start online\u201d.<\/p>\n
The proportion of AI use in dating is even higher for younger generations, rising to 66% for members of gen Z (people born in the mid 1990s to early 2010s), and 53% of millennials (those born in the early 1980s to mid-90s).<\/p>\n
Sam says pressure to make a good impression on dating apps means a misunderstood message could risk him losing out on dates. \u201cOnline dating \u2026 as a guy it\u2019s a bit of a ghost town,\u201d he says. \u201cRather than saying: \u2018Hey, how\u2019s your weekend going?\u2019 it\u2019s thinking about what I can pick up that might get a response.\u201d<\/p>\n
The most common use of AI across all cohorts, according to Match, is to get advice about someone they are talking to, plan date ideas, practise conversations, write a dating profile or messages, and vet whether profiles or photos are genuine. Using AI to alter a photo is a no-no for the majority of singles, the survey says.<\/p>\n
Some singles are turning to AI to navigate online dating, using chatbots to plan dates and check whether profiles are genuine. Photograph: oatawa\/Getty Images\/iStockphoto<\/p>\n
A single mother from New Zealand, who asked to remain anonymous, says she has used AI as a dating mentor. \u201cI did not really date before I met my ex-husband \u2026 with ChatGPT I set it up to coach me to become more secure \u2013 to not panic about any delay in messaging, to not rush into anything,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n
One man from Melbourne, Australia, who began dating after his 20-year marriage ended, says AI made finding his current partner faster by assessing people he \u201cmatched\u201d with and testing his responses. \u201cIt was getting [to be] quite a lot of work, like all the chats and the profiles. So I thought: \u2018How can I use AI just to sort of speed it up a little bit?\u2019\u201d he says.<\/p>\n
The 51-year-old adds that the chatbot he was using helped him think twice about profiles he\u2019d overlooked. \u201c[With] my current partner, it was really aggressive with me saying that: \u2018Nah, she\u2019s your vibe, she just takes shit photos.\u2019 And then I meet her at a cafe and she\u2019s absolutely drop-dead gorgeous,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n
When he told his partner he had used AI in their exchanges, she also admitted to using Anthropic\u2019s Claude chatbot to analyse his responses. He says she joked that the \u201ctwo Claudes were probably just chatting away behind the scenes\u201d. It is a risky admission, though \u2013 about a third of UK singles said they would end a date if they found out AI had been used to write a potential paramour\u2019s messages.<\/p>\n
But, while a few singles like to discuss how their date went with a chatbot (7%), far more prefer a group chat (29%) or their parents (20%), according to the Match survey. \u201cMaybe our friends are becoming more distant because of technology, a little more hands off, compared to the generation before us [who] would get together in their flat or the pub and just absolutely dish the dirt,\u201d says Dec, 31, from London, who uses ChatGPT as a \u201csounding board\u201d when chatting with single men.<\/p>\n
Dec says he uploaded his dating conversations to ChatGPT and gave it prompts such as: \u201cTell me what you think the red flags there are\u201d, and: \u201cWhat does this connection look like?\u201d<\/p>\n
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