It’s been clear for a while now that the Minnesota Timberwolves own real estate in Charles Barkley’s head. Granted, it’s not a sprawling estate given the size of Barkley’s brain, but it’s there. Somewhere along the line, somebody from Minnesota must have cut Chuck off in traffic, stiffed him on a golf bet, or maybe just served him bad walleye at a charity dinner, because the guy cannot stop dumping on the Wolves.
And here’s the thing: we get it. We know the history. From the day Kevin Garnett first slipped on a Celtics jersey until the day Anthony Edwards got drafted, the Wolves were basketball wallpaper. We had the Dark Ages of Jonny Flynn over Steph, the Kevin Love empty-calorie All-Star years, and the Jimmy Butler practice apocalypse. We were Charlie Brown lining up the field goal kick for nearly 20 years, only to have Lucy yank the ball every single time.
But this isn’t 2011 anymore. Back-to-back trips to the Western Conference Finals later, and we’re not the punchline franchise. We’re the team with that guy — Anthony Edwards, the next megastar. We’re the team with competent ownership. We’re a legit contender. The receipts are there.
This week, Barkley was on Bill Simmons’s podcast talking LeBron, Luka, and NBA relevance. Out of nowhere, Chuck swerves off the road and drops a backhanded drive-by on the Wolves, saying the Lakers haven’t been “relevant” since 2020, punctuating his case with the fact that they just recently lost in the first round… to the Timberwolves, who, in his words, “aren’t relevant themselves.”
Wait, what? By that logic, I guess Steph Curry and the Warriors weren’t relevant when the Wolves sent them fishing. Same for Nikola Jokic and the Nuggets, who were on the wrong end of a 20-point Game 7 comeback the year prior. Kevin Durant, swept out of the playoffs by Ant and friends, must be irrelevant too. Somebody get KD on the line and tell him Charles says he doesn’t count.
Because nothing screams “irrelevant” like consecutive Western Conference Finals runs.
The Thunder, Nuggets, and… Rockets?
Chuck’s official West power rankings: Thunder (fair), Nuggets (hmm…), and Rockets (wait, what?).
Nobody’s questioning OKC. They’re the defending champs and SGA just had the kind of season that makes you wonder if he was created in a lab to play in this era. Totally relevant.
The Nuggets? Great team, world-class player in Jokic, but… the Wolves have beaten them six straight times (seven if you count Summer League, and yes, I’m counting Summer League, because I’m shameless and need every bullet for this argument). The Wolves were literally built by former Denver exec Tim Connelly to take down Jokic. And so far, it’s working.
And then… Houston? Yes, they traded for Kevin Durant. Yes, it made headlines. But if you think “add KD and stir” equals automatic contention, then you’ve clearly havent been paying to Brooklyn and Phoenix during the past five years. Durant’s not the same guy anymore, and the Rockets gave up meaningful pieces like Jalen Green and Dillon Brooks to get him. That’s not a free upgrade. But sure, let’s bump Houston into the “contender” tier and call Minnesota irrelevant.
Look, we know what this is. Chuck and Shaq have made careers out of dismissing today’s stars, and the Wolves are easy pickings. Ripping Rudy Gobert is a running gag, Ant is still too young to command the kind of universal respect Jokic or Steph has, and Minnesota isn’t exactly a ratings magnet.
But here’s the secret: Wolves fans love this. There’s nothing better than that “nobody believes in us” energy. If Barkley wants to keep lobbing lazy insults, fine. That’s fuel. Every time he goes on national TV and mutters “the Wolves ain’t relevant,” it just makes it sweeter when Ant drops 40 on KD and Houston or when Rudy erases Jokic for the eighth straight time.
So pile it on, Chuck. We’ll take the hate, add it to the stack of disrespect, and shove it back down your throat come April. Because for all the irrelevant chatter, there’s nothing irrelevant about the Timberwolves beating teams people actually call contenders.
And when Hennepin Avenue is hosting its first Finals parade? I’m saving a front-row seat for Charles Barkley, just so he can explain again why we don’t matter.