CHATFD

Is nobody safe from the cold, dead hands of artificial intelligence? Certainly not if you’re in the business of attempting to write a borderline humorous weekday mailshot. Take this, punched into a smartphone, belched out by ChatGPT in mere seconds after the instructions: “Write 100 words on AI in football in the style of the Guardian’s Football Daily email.”

Ah, football and AI — the game’s newest double act. From tracking player movement with eerie precision to whispering tactical tweaks into analysts’ ears, artificial intelligence is now as common at training grounds as bibs and banter. Clubs crunch mountains of data to predict fatigue, refine pressing triggers, even scout teenagers before they’ve finished growing. VAR, of course, remains the clumsy cousin — still learning when ‘clear and obvious’ actually means clear and obvious. But love it or loathe it, AI isn’t leaving the pitch anytime soon. The algorithms are watching — and your xG just twitched slightly higher.”

Eesh. A not unworthy effort, but perhaps not one to show the suits [we’ve read worse – Football Daily Ed]. Maybe short on the usual top-level honks, but the temptation to allow the machines to take the strain is strong across many trades. Accountants quiver at the speed AI can produce a spreadsheet, many management consultant types swear by AI for its assistance in doing whatever it is management consultants do. OK, the examples so far in the creative sphere have been forgettable, particularly AI music. Faux-Americana “band” Velvet Sundown are a pale imitation of the most milquetoast stuff that gets on the 6 Music playlist but it has been, as the tech bros might say, a bit of a disruptor within the music industry.

So what about football? Surely not when Tony Pulis is currently being resurrected as the Valeriy Lobanovskyi of getting it launched. Well, think again. This week, the Seattle Reign head coach Laura Harvey admitted that she had used ChatGPT to help determine her team’s tactics. Harvey admitted: “I put in ‘what formation should you play to beat NWSL teams?’ and it spurted out every team in the league and what formation you should play. And for two teams, it went ‘you should play a back five’. So I did.”

In one game, against Orlando Pride, the Reign lost 1-0 but achieved a significant increase in expected goals … the performance metric that just won’t go away. Neither will AI, with word reaching Football Daily Towers that certain managers of unimpeachable credentials have been asked to buy and even select certain players on the advice of AI-derived algorithms. Truly, the game is gone. As well as up. Love it or loathe it, AI isn’t leaving the pitch anytime soon.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

“We miss nothing. I’m happy with the quality of the team. But I’m also convinced by the strategy and policy we have … I am a firm believer 21 or 22 players are enough. But you have to keep them fit as we did last season. We are struggling to keep them fit this season for, in my opinion, obvious reasons” – Arne Slot, who left several first-team players out of his Milk Cup squad in midweek, (sort of) rows back on his comments about a lack of squad depth at Liverpool before Saturday’s game against Aston Villa.

21-22? Photograph: Daniel Chesterton/Offside/Getty Images

I’m sure I am stepping out of my lane here (I’m an A&E doctor here in Canada and a keen amateur triathlon participant when I can). But surely the match schedule you mentioned for Crystal Palace as being ‘Manchester City, Arsenal, KuPS Kuopio and Leeds in a novel Sunday-Tuesday-Thursday-Sunday Premier League, Fizzy Cup and Tin Pot triathlon’ (yesterday’s Football Daily) is actually a quadrathlon, which comprises four events (typically swim, cycle, kayak + run). I’ve never tried one, and my Quebecois wife says I couldn’t do the kayaking leg if my life depended on it” – Adam Simpson.

Re: Sid Lowe’s interview with Espanyol head coach and former bus driver Manolo González (yesterday’s Quote of the Day). I assume he sets his team out with a low block: he’s known for parking the bus. Sorry. Kudos to Sid for writing a long piece without stooping to the obvious: Señor, you’re a better man than I” – Pål Jørgen Bakke.

The reference to Rory Delap (yesterday’s Football Daily letters) reminds me of an amusing incident at Stoke in February 2011. West Brom, who usually lost there, had equalised in the 87th minute. Happy with the point, they began to play out for a draw. It was a wet evening and Delap had been hurling the ball into the Albion box all night following careful use of a towel provided by the ball boy. After the equaliser, Albion got a throw midway in the Stoke half and Steven Reid called for the towel. After spending some time carefully drying the ball he threw it five yards to the nearest Albion player and received a return pass” – Les Andrews.

Reading of the difficulties (and expense) of buying tickets for the Geopolitics World Cup (yesterday’s Still Want More, full email edition) triggered a memory that took me back to the summer of 1966. My dad and his friend decided at the last minute that they fancied watching the opening match (England v Uruguay). They drove to London (from Portsmouth) in the afternoon and paid at the gate to get into the ground. He wasn’t very impressed (fairly dull 0-0 draw) and the next morning announced that he wasn’t going to bother going to any more games. I am 70 years old and this does seem incredible, so on my wife’s advice I checked with my brother that he also recalled this excursion. He did and furthermore reminded me that on the day of the final my dad (an enthusiastic player but only occasionally picked to play cricket), was a surprise selection due to a shortage of available players (I wonder why) and so didn’t even get to see the final on TV. So for him, the World Cup really was over” – Steve Beaton.

Send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s letter o’ the day winner is … Steve Beaton, who gets a copy of A History of Football in 100 Objects from the Guardian Bookshop, which has loads of other great football reads, too. Get shopping! Terms and conditions for our competitions can be viewed here. 

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THE ROAD TO WEMBLEY

It’s time for the FA Cup first round proper, kicking off at Kenilworth Road on Friday night as Jack Wilshere’s Luton and Robbie Savage’s Forest Green Rovers do battle. Both sides ​wear kits made by eco-friendly brand Reflo​, who will plant 1,000 trees to mark the occasion – plus another 1,000 for every goal scored. The socially conscious vibes don’t stop there, with Forest Green also part of a scheme where local GPs can prescribe tickets to their home matches for people with depression. “This initiative is not just about watching football,” said Savage. “It’s about the day itself because when you come to a match, you meet new people, friends, engage with family.” Elsewhere, the lowest-ranked side in the draw, eighth-tier Essex outfit Maldon & Tiptree, visit Port Vale on Sunday – the winners of that will kickstart our route to the Wembley arches – while Tamworth host Leyton Orient on Monday. Other notable ties include National League North leaders South Shields at home to Shrewsbury, sixth-tier Spennymoor Town hosting Barrow, a cross-county trip to Barnsley for York City and a meeting of former winners as Bolton face Huddersfield.

NEWS, BITS AND BOBS

Mikel Arteta has warned that clubs could pull out of competitions due to fixture congestion. “Every decision has to be guided on two main things: player welfare and then supporters,” the Arsenal manager trilled amid the inconvenience of a run to the Rumbelows Cup quarter-finals.

Arsenal coach Gabriel Heinze with Martín Zubimendi. Photograph: Stuart MacFarlane/Arsenal FC/Getty Images

Fabian Hürzeler is on board with Big Website’s World Cup Welbz campaign. “I asked the [Brighton] squad if they think Danny can play for England, and they all agreed,” cheered Hürzeler, who we’ll assume is aware Welbeck already has 42 caps.

Ruben Amorim has shrugged off Sean Dyche’s claim, made while working as a pundit, that he could win more games playing a 4-4-2 with Manchester United’s squad. “Maybe it’s true,” Amorim tooted. “Sean is really smart and knows how to play the game.” Dyche’s Forest host United on Saturday.

Enzo Maresca is trying his best to smooth things over with Liam Delap after criticising the forward for his quickfire double yellow card against Wolves. “Liam apologised to everyone after the game,” Maresca growled. “He knows that he made a mistake. Full stop, no more than that.”

Luciano Spalletti is targeting Juventus’ first title since 2020 after replacing Igor Tudor as manager. “I hope to get back into the Scudetto race, why not?” whooped the former Italy coach. Juve are seventh, six points behind Napoli and Roma.

Welcome mister, indeed. Photograph: Daniele Badolato/Juventus FC/Getty Images

And the Aston Villa manager, Natalia Arroyo, has praised Lucia Kendall after the midfielder made her Lionesses debut against Australia this week. “She dictates the tempo, the hardest thing for a 21-year-old. She is surfing in this way and we need to surf with her,” Arroyo shakaed.

STILL WANT MORE?

Arne Slot has no excuses for another defeat while Fulham and Crystal Palace look stretched: it’s 10 things to look out for in the Premier League.

And Rob Draper looks back over Ruben Amorim’s first 12 months at Manchester United and wonders whether the coach will complete a second year.

Into the Ruben-verse! Composite: Tom Jenkins, GettyMEMORY LANE

Denis Law and his young son, Robert, pose for a picture on Halloween in 1969 with a traditional carved pumpkin turnip. “It’s the night when most dads carve out a turnip to make a lantern, and Denis Law is no different,” wrote the Mirror. “There will be a difference today, though, when Denis will be back carving up the Stoke defence for Manchester United.” It didn’t quite work out that way, as Stoke held on for a 1-1 draw at Old Trafford on 1 November despite Bobby Charlton finding the net.

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