We are a country where people achieve hit-tweet status by claiming that in their own minds, the Blue Jays won the World Series, and where the team deserves a parade for coming in second. Therefore: even if the Stars and Stripes were to fly over Parliament Hill tomorrow, Canadians would never admit that Donald Trump is absolutely succeeding in dividing us with the intent to conquer.
Let’s review the facts. Prime Minister Carney, who was once upon a time elected to stand up to Trump, apologized to the President for anti-tariff ads paid for by Ontario Premier Doug Ford which aired on American TV. Ford, when asked to explain the point of advertising to a faction of anti-tariff Republicans with little to no power, claims the ads were a resounding success because they changed no minds but a lot of people saw them. No one is asking Carney whether the past six months of Trump-wrangling were predictably a giant waste of time, and no one is asking Ford what sort of plan he has to deal with Trump other than get on his nerves.
Carney’s first budget has been unveiled, and there is discussion out there about how it absolutely is not the transformational document we had to wait all summer and fall for. We’re not going to AI-innovate our way to the front of the new tech economy, break new ground with mega-projects, or build homes like crazy. Instead we’re going to explore whether Canada can join the Eurovision song contest. All of this is secondary to yet more commentary about Opposition Leader Pierre Poilievre’s toxic personality and how it’s alienating innocent Progressive Conservative MPs so badly that they are becoming Liberals. Meanwhile, Toronto Mayor Olivia Chow took time away from making goo-goo eyes at newly elected NYC mayor Zohran Mamdani to declare Israel guilty of genocide. The next day, a synagogue was vandalized for the 10th time since October 7th and a riot broke out at Toronto Metropolitan University where the presence of Israeli soldiers on campus was met with violence. I’M SURE THERE’S NO CONNECTION. None of this has anything to do with the running of the city of Toronto, but Chow herself isn’t sorry despite Jewish groups writing strongly worded press releases like you wouldn’t believe.
Can anyone explain how any of the above resembles a country united and ready to stand together against Yankee imperialism? It looks more to me like a collapsing series of losers dumping on each other. Trump makes Carney look like a loser, Carney makes Poilievre look like a loser, Ford tries to make Carney look like a loser but fails because he’s Doug Ford, and Olivia Chow makes the Jewish community look like losers. And this is what losers do: they find someone else who is an even bigger loser than they are and bully them to make themselves look cool. Every kid who’s been on a playground knows this, and the smart kids know that the way to prove you’re not a loser is not to pick on weaker kids as if you have no other options, but to actually be good at things. To get rid of our loser energy, which attracts Trump (another loser, to be sure) like a fly to excrement, we have to win. (So does the Jewish community, of course, but nobody in charge is ever going to figure that out.)
Implying that our national inability to get it together is making it easier for Trump to push us around is going to get me a lot of flak from commentators who think suggesting as much is treason. This is of course more loser behaviour, like declaring Israel guilty of genocide when we have a whole actual court for that, or putting together some weaksauce ads that might swing an election here in Canada but don’t move the needle in the States, or crossing the floor six months after you were elected. Loser behaviour is of course not limited to Canada, as the oh-so-cool aforementioned Zohran Mamdani will soon figure out. Being a winner doesn’t mean beating the absolutely wretched Andrew Cuomo and his historically garbage campaign. It involves running New York City better than the last bunch of losers did. If Mamdani spends his time dunking on Zionists and proclaiming that his election is some hinge moment in history like he did in his victory speech, he’ll end up like all the other heroes who couldn’t close the deal against Trump despite sending thrills up people’s legs.
Trump has pulled back the curtain. He has revealed the zero-sum nature of politics. He does what he does, and his critics do what they do, and the world is the way it is. Until someone wins against him, nothing will change.
Josh Lieblein can be reached at [email protected] for your response to Doorstep Postings. You can also submit a Letter to the Editor, in response to Doorstep Postings or any other content from The CJN, here.