When Hope had to go to hospital appointments during her pregnancies and for the births of her two children, she says the support she received from her midwives inspired her to think about pursuing the same career.
At first her hospital phobia made the idea seem impossible but “over time the desire to try and help people trumped my fear,” she says.
She left her job in a coffee shop to study for a degree in Midwifery at Coventry University.
“Going into a hospital was a massive challenge. I had avoided clinical settings for years. The first few shifts were terrifying,” she says. “But over time, I became more comfortable.”
She credits talking therapy with helping her work through the negative associations she had with hospitals.
“One of the tools I was given was the idea of the compassionate self – treating yourself in the same way you would a friend if they said to you ‘I’m terrified to go into a hospital’.
“You might say ‘can I come with you, can I hold your hand, would you like to talk beforehand or talk while it’s happening?”
She also advised writing down a “stream of consciousness” when feeling overwhelmed by fear.
“Don’t try and make sense of it or punctuate it or even make it legible it can be as simple as ‘I’m scared I’m going to die’. You can throw it away or keep it and come back to it,” she says.