Yeah, I’m gonna go ahead and start calling BS on these fuel mileage races. I think I might be out on them. I’m especially out on the goofy little graphics Amazon, TNT and, now, NBC use to illustrate how much fuel each driver has left. 

They’re always wrong. William Byron should’ve had 0% fuel left with around two to go yesterday at Iowa. Instead, he not only won the damn race, he also had enough in the tank for a burnout AND to drive the thing back to Victory Lane. 

Obviously, I had some issues with the Iowa corn ball 350 or whatever it was called. Probably didn’t help that I forgot Leigh Diffey was back in the booth until I flipped it on yesterday afternoon. I miss Mike Joy. 

All that being said, we DID get some solid #content out of yet another NASCAR fuel race, thanks in large part to Carson Hocevar. 

Not only did Carson piss off ANOTHER driver, he might have been called a “retard” after the race by a rival crew chief. Am I allowed to write that? Dunno. Guess we’ll find out! I put it in quotes, so I assume that covers me legally. 

What else? I’ve got an elite NASCAR WAG in the middle of all the fuss, the MLB game at Bristol was a DISASTER, I’m growing tired of Mark Martin’s constant bitching – and I LOVE Mark – and Samantha Busch shows off her big rack. 

That’s right. Big rack. You’ll see! 

Four tires, enough fuel to get us around Iowa a few times (apparently you don’t need much!), and maybe more of Sam’s big rack around the garage to ease tensions … Monday Morning Pit-Stop – the ‘Great, Leigh’s Back!’ edition – is LIVE!

Carson Hocevar is a content MACHINE

I’ve said it all year, and I’ll say it again here on the first Monday of August. Carson Hocevar is the best thing to happen to NASCAR this season. By a mile. 

The guy does not care. He’s also fast. He’s also good at what he does. He’s turned a bottom-feeder car into a perennial top-10 machine each and every week. Hell, he probably should have at least a win or two under his belt at this point. 

Other drivers clearly just hate him, which makes him 10 times more likable in my eyes. And it’s usually because they all just seem so much angrier than him.

LOOK at this post-race moment between Carson and Zane Smith’s No. 38 team crew chief yesterday. 

Carson and Zane went back and forth all day. Zane accused Carson of wrecking him. Zane tried to wreck him back (he whiffed). McCall Gaulding got involved on Twitter. Zane’s crew chief then inexplicably confronted Carson after the race, and pulled out the Big R word. 

And I ain’t talking about Republican!

The NASCAR WAGs are on the case!

Incredible. I can’t wait for poor Ryan to get called to NASCAR’s principal’s office and get slapped with sensitivity training because he dusted off one of the oldest (and funniest) insults in the book. Allegedly, of course. 

He probably won’t, mainly because there’s no smoking gun, but I could absolutely see some of the wokes on the internet pressuring NASCAR into addressing it. 

Don’t cave, NASCAR! Take a page out of American Eagle’s playbook, and tell those wokes to kick rocks! 

Anyway, I’m with Carson here. I don’t think he did anything wrong initially, and I’m not sure why he would. No offense to Zane Smith, but I don’t think Carson is concerned with Zane Smith. 

Looks to me like he got loose and Zane was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. I mean, it’s pretty simple. Where’s all this hostility coming from? 

McCall, thoughts?

Get him, McCall! I don’t agree with you, but I respect you backing your man. That’s called love. That’s how it’s done. Right, wrong, or indifferent, you back your man. 

McCall gets it, and so does NASCAR’s unofficial First Lady, Sam Busch!

Speaking of Kyle Busch …

Love me some Big Rack Spirits to start off our first full week of August! Fall is just around the corner, and that means hunting season is almost here. I can smell it in the air. Feel it in my plums. 

Thanks for the reminder, Sam! This is why you’re the veteran in the garage. We can always count on you. 

Now, we used to be able to always count on husband Kyle, but he hasn’t won since the early days of the Biden Administration … back before the autopen! Do you know how long ago that was? My God. 

There was a point in time where we all thought Rowdy would win 100 races. Seriously. It honestly wasn’t that long ago. But he hasn’t even sniffed a win in months, and he needs one over the next three races or else he’s TOAST come playoff time. 

And by that, I mean he won’t be in them … again. Not great. 

Anyway, let’s check in on him and Alex Bowman after two pretty ‘meh’ days at Iowa!

Bristol disaster, Mark’s constant bitching, fuel nonsense & Leigh

Hilarious. Love that Kyle Busch has just stopped even trying to pretend they’re good, and has just resorted to talking about how shitty they are as a team each and every week. Sometimes, you have to just laugh through the pain. I get it. 

OK, let’s put the pedal to the floor and get to a couple quickies (my specialty!) on the way to Watkins Glen. 

First up … the Speedway Classic at Bristol over the weekend was maybe the biggest disaster in MLB history? It had so much promise, and it looked so cool. But between Mother Nature and MLB apparently not knowing how to host 85,000 people, I’m not sure if they’re gonna be welcomed back any time soon:

I mean, that’s a tough look for Robby Manfred and Major League Baseball. How do they let that happen? Surely it’s not a Bristol issue, right? Can’t be. The place hosts two NASCAR weekends a year, and once hosted nearly 150,000 people for a football game. Never once heard complaints like this. 

Bunless hot dogs? Prison. Cheeseless nachos? Those aren’t nachos. Those are chips. And how were they so unprepared for the rain? 

Have they EVER watched a NASCAR race before? We could be in the middle of the biggest drought in the history of time, and Mother Nature would find a way to rain out a NASCAR race. 

Idiots. 

Next? While fans were bitching in Bristol, Mark Martin continued his weird crusade against NASCAR’s playoff format online:

God. I’m just so tired of Mark Martin at this point. And that makes me sad, because I like Mark Martin. He was awesome back in the day, and he’s, frankly, even cooler now given his politics. 

But goodness gracious, Mark, can we PLEASE give it a rest? We get it. You don’t like the playoff format. You haven’t shut up about it in a month. Enough already. I’d talk about the playoffs, too, if I had to sit through another fuel mileage race in these insufferable Next Gen cars!

Mark may hate the playoff format, but that’s nothing compared to our hate for this stupid Next Gen car. Ryan Blaney was making a BEELINE for William Byron (hey, we finally got to the winner today!) yesterday, and was on a billion-lap fresher tires when he stalled out behind Brad Keselowski because of dirty air. 

That’s silliness. Come on, NASCAR. What are we doing here?

Finally, on the way to Watkins Glen, lets all welcome back Leigh Diffey for the rest of the season! Who’s excited??

Okeeeeeeeeeedokee! John’s not a fan. Fair enough! 

Now, let’s go have a big week. 

See you at Watkins Glen.Â